I Am Glad I Got Bullied And Here’s Why

Note this is from a personal perspective 

I was speaking with two friends this evening and the subject of school-life came up it was an interesting exercise in subjectivity, objectivity and personal experiences shaping people’s lives but not defining them as we all move on.

My friend respectfully and realistically pointed out the fact that when students are at school (regardless of disability or otherwise) they are on their own unique journeys and difficulties can arise from all sorts of areas which have an impact of self-esteem, confidence and the ability to thrive on a functional level.

I was diagnosed late after my mainstream education had finished the best foundation for “social” I was given was through my tenure in education. It gave me the ability to cope with stressful situations, integrate and overall gave me the invaluable skills of living a “human life” rather than a “autistic life”. I was around people and my disability was not being flag waved to the point where I lost myself and was only defined by one single factor.

 

 

I was surrounded by people who used interpretive speech. I still find this mode of speaking difficult something I have aqquired a long the way in the context of school yes that was true. I cannot deny the verbal and at times physical abuse I encountered at school by other students on a daily basis as ‘normal‘ as their conscious psychothapy and narcissism was allowed run free regardless of the damage ensued.

Yes it is subjective and many of them were emotionally insucure and being so doesn’t give you a free ticket to do it to others, however they did. I see this as a learning curve and lessons in life and I am thankful to learn from the shit and make sculptures out of it. 🙂

They may have changed which is great, found families, bared children etc I wish them well on their journeys.

We (as people) are all on our journeys and bullying and victimisation was part of my experience however many others have been in the similar situations and I refuse to define my present situation by the past experiences. I am indifferent and objective about my past it happened and I am done with the “what could have beens” and “what ifs” I am thankful for my overall experience I would not have had it any other way.

Tides of Glory 

I strayed and came about

Eager to scream and longing to shout

I have travelled a life which has been painted

I refuse to see my deepest memories as tainted

Come up and down and my thoughts fleeting around

I pick my body and ground my mind with the comfort of sound

A cloud full memories embraced and feetful of walking to be chased

A human being am I no better nor worse living a madless time at even pace

Paul Isaacs 2017

 

 

“Idiosyncratic Language” & “Stored Language Responses” in Autism

Note this is from a personal perspective

Sometimes language in terms of interpretation can be difficult to “use” and “explore” however it may not be a true representation of the “inner world” the person is living in.

Words could come out stilted, mixed up and not in order and if the order is there it may take a lot time to form and lead into a strand of information. When my language was in its earliest “fruits” it was mixture of echolalia which I got from movies, sounds, movements, pitches and dominated my mind but trying to learn “interpretive language” was  “forced” and came from a  “stilted “place”.

• Give the person time to process the information if the person has a level of Aphasia, and/or Verbal Agnosia
• Allow time if the person has a level of motor coordination issues such as Oral Apraxia, Body Apraxia and/or Body Agnosias
• Try using Gesture, Tone, Inflection and Objects of Reference
• Understand were the stored language is coming from – Exposure Anxiety, Problems with Integration “self and other” in conversation, Body Related “Highs”, Mood, Anxiety, Impulse Control, Selective Mutism and/or Emotional Regulation 
• See the Person First and Presume Competence

Before functional speech it a swill of verbal and visual information that I could not grasp nor mentalising in a fashion which was tangible my “inner world” was very much there but is was struggle to get it out I didn’t have a lot words to use in my mind as it was endlessly swirling and as I got older (before my later infant years) I was slowly building a firm repertoire of words and has a lot I want to say but couldn’t.

When functional speech came at the around the ages 7/8 the it was expressively of a three year old (in developmental, content and constructional presentation) however this “voice” that seemed to be more “fluid” scared me and frustrated me at the same time as it still didn’t represent my “inner world” I was torn between complex stored responses the basics of “interpretive speech” and wanting to cut off from verbal speech altogether not being able to “hold” mental images of words also delay many aspect of my language but painting and drawing in many ways we’re a creative and communicative effort it created a bridge.

I certainly did not have a Asperger trajectory when it came to expressive and receptive language and getting the point of verbal and contextual significance so when I get tired and my language processing goes down. 

• Speech will become slower and fragmented
• I will have consciously find “interpretive speak” words
• Sentence construction and word placement will be mixed
• I will get “stuck” on a word and/or sentence focusing on how it sounds

I still type more words than I verbally “speak” however I am grateful that I can and I try and use it to the best of my efforts in fact typing has allowed me to express my emotions with much more clarity, cadence and deepness.

Paul Isaacs 2017

Autism “Culture”, The Word “NT” and Militancy

If people are representing one has to think about is it for other people? Self-service? Advocacy? Empowerment? Information sharing? 

Militancy Is it “Normal”?

If militancy is perceived as the norm then who is that actuality helping? Assisting? Or otherwise is this the new phase that becomes relevant before it becomes redundant and passe?

The leader of their group replied in a tone lacking in warmth, ‘it would have been better without any NTs present‘. The others chimed in in support of him. Alienated, I left them to it.

Later when they were buddying up with more of the same separatist rhetoric and there was a tone to it that sat uncomfortably with me, a tone I’d heard before, in hierarchical non-autie children in playgrounds once upon a time (where I’d also known nice ones).

I had to let this group know that I simply don’t do bigotry… that my non-autie friends are not typical, mundane, boring or expendable and that I refuse to use any derogatory term that hints they are such, such as ‘NT‘.

As you can imagine, they were quite taken aback. I was meant to ‘understand’. I was meant to be ‘one of them’. But if ‘one of them’ meant I was meant to hang out in a group and dislike or disrespect another group, and share this as ‘belonging’ and ‘shared culture’ and ‘shared understanding’ then this wasn’t ‘me’.

Donna Williams

If this is the case what example is being set? By noting ones perceived superiority or “specialism” over others is still bigotry, separatism and creates more waves of the old “them and us” which doesn’t represent inclusion, empowerment, reality-sharing or otherwise. Which burns bridges more bridges than it claims to build.

The Word “NT” It Isn’t Helpful

I have come to believe that the word “NT” is not only unhelpful  and has been projected in such a way that would imply that other people who fit this “label” are “typical” therefore one could perceive that word as “boring”. I find this not only hypocritical but also a mystery because in truth there is no such thing as a “neurotypical”.

Autism “Culturism and Militancy”

The English word militant is both an adjective and a noun, and is usually used to mean vigorously active, combative and aggressive, especially in support of a cause

One cannot cherry pick what autism is and isn’t as a shared collective that is same for everybody in the truth autism in its presentation and reality is different for each person so in order to advocate and empower you have to be aware that the only reality you can share is your own and be humble and conscious enough to say that. To allow other people’s realities to relevant you cannot speak for all, to empower you cannot project “reality sameness”  because no human being is the same.

No One Should Be Defined As One “Label”

Can anybody be defined by one factor? Can anybody describe themselves in one word? I do not define myself by my “autism” it is certainly apart me but it isn’t the driving factor at all. When I was born I was born a human being and all that comes with it I live as a human being. There is much to be said about in the end being emotionally grounded, considerate and realistic.

Egalitarianism – The Way Forward

Egalitarianism (from French égal, meaning ‘equal’) – or equalitarianism^[1][2] – is a trend of thought that favors equality for all people.^[3]Egalitarian doctrines maintain that all humans are equal in fundamental worth or social status,

My wish is that in order for this to work people must consider all realities, perspectives, opinions and input in a constructive manner that is overall beneficial.

Paul Isaacs 2017

 

 

A Humanistic Psychological Approach To Autism

 

Humanistic, humanism and humanist are terms in psychology relating to an approach which studies the whole person, and the uniqueness of each individual.  Essentially, these terms refer the same approach in psychology.

Humanism is a psychological perspective that emphasizes the study of the whole person. Humanistic psychologists look at human behavior not only through the eyes of the observer, but through the eyes of the person doing the behaving.

McLeod, S. A. (2015). Humanism. Retrieved from http://www.simplypsychology.org/humanistic.html

Looking at whole person means you look at every aspect of the person and how what is going on lets look at this in the context of autism

• The Environment (social connections, relationships, friendships)
• Personality (development of personality, traits, types and “disordered extremes” which also connects with communication styles, wants, needs, desires, aspirations etc)
• Education (types of learning, style of learning, solitary, social, mixed)
• Information processing (delayed, mixed, information overload)
• Language processing (literal, aphasia, semantic pragmatic disorder)
• Sensory integration (over or under processing/integration of sensory input)
• Sensory perceptional (face-blindness, meaning blindness, object blind and other associated perceptual disorders) 
• Emotional regulation and perception
• Mental Health (mood disorders, attachment disorders, dissociative disorders, impulse control disorders, psychosis)
• Identity (male, female, non-binary, hertrosexual, homosexual, bisexual, asexual etc) 
• Co-dependency (dependant personality, passive-aggressive personality and attachment) 
• Dietary Disabilities (food intolerances, food allergies, chemical imbalances)  
• Metabolic disorders
• Auto-immune disorders
• Seizure Disorders

Holistic Psychology

Holism refers to any approach that emphasizes the whole rather than their constituent parts. In other words ‘the whole is greater than the sum of its parts’. Qualitative methods of the humanistic approach reflect a holistic position. Social psychology also takes a holistic view.

A holistic approach therefore suggests that there are different levels of explanation and that at each level there are “emergent properties” that cannot be reduced to the one below.

Reductionist explanations, which might work in some circumstances, are considered inappropriate to the study of human subjectivity because here the emergent property that we have to take account of is that of the “whole person”.  Otherwise it makes no sense to try to understand the meaning of anything that anybody might do.

McLeod, S. A. (2008). Reductionism and Holism. Retrieved from http://www.simplypsychology.org/reductionism-holism.html

I would say with working in the autism field for over seven years you must look at all the factors and how the interact with EACH OTHER such as personality development for example will dictate how  people react and however the underpinnings are to do with biological, psychological and environmental factors.

All Voices are Equal

All voices and perceptions are equal and that means that differing realities, perceptions and knowledge has to be taking into account so that can be. There should be no “them vs us” or segregation burns far too many bridges. This can be from differing realities such as neurobiology, auto-immunity and metabolic disorders, dietary needs and many more.

• Neurobiologists
• Auto-immunology
• Speech and Language Therapists
• Developmental Psychology and Psychiatry
• Mental Health Psychology and Psychiatry
• Music Therapists
• Diet Specialists
  
• Parents, Guardians and Family Members
• Friends
• People on the Autism Spectrum

Listening, Empathy and Autonomy

Self-worth, self-esteem, self-perception are to do with how we feel about ourselves in relation to others and how other’s feel in relation to you here are simple aspects of that.

• Trust (Building stable, balanced and honest friendships and/or relationships)
• Empathy (Showing genuine kindness, assertion and care which is balanced, contextual and meaningful)
• Listening (Acknowledging the person as a human being first through listening to their wants, needs, desires and aspirations) 
• Being Non-authoritarian and egalitarian (Show through example, intention and meaning that being equal is the standard stetter nothing more or less)
• Allow for growth and developmental, psychological and environmental changes  (Change is good it can be progressive, assertive, connective, inspiring and fun)
• Everybody is a person (Be non-judgmental, objective and constructive the key for allowing growth is to see the person first) 

 

 

What makes each person with autism so different from each other?  How do you learn to ‘speak autistic’?  What are the low cost and no cost strategies to help people with autism manage their own particular collection of challenges?

Published in 2005, The Jumbled Jigsaw is an easy to read, ‘quick dip’ self help manual on the ‘Fruit Salad’ model of and approach to the navigation and management of autism.  It exposes autism spectrum disorders (ASDs) not as single entities but as a combination of a whole range of often untreated, sometimes easily treatable, underlying conditions. Exploring everything from mood, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive and tic disorders to information processing and sensory perceptual difficulties, including dependency issues, identity problems and much more, it demonstrates how a number of such conditions can combine to form a ‘cluster condition’ and underpin the label ‘autism spectrum disorder.  Most importantly it gives case study examples and clear strategies for management of each piece of autism spectrum ‘fruit salad’.

Donna Williams 2005

My Conclusion is that looking at the “bigger picture”, “the whole person” and the interacting components form an “inside-out” perspective means that you can potentially enrich and EMPOWER people live giving the them the building blocks to make choices, self-assertion, independence and self-worth.

Paul Isaacs 2017

 

Not Proud Nor Ashamed – Balanced About Being On The Autism Spectrum

I Was Born A Human Being

I was born in 1986 and as far as I know I was born a human being just like the 7 billion other people on the this earth and of course I had my issues related to autism not being able to speak, not seeing the world as a coherent whole, faceblindness, receptive and expressive language disorders, oral apraxia, hemiplegia and list goes on. These thing are not “me” being face-blind isn’t me, being aphasic isn’t me and  being hemiplegic isn’t me either.

Autism A Describing Word

“Autism” is describing not defining for some people autism is a culture a place to be in and around a shared culture, however I do not believe that autism is a culture but has been created as such and maybe the question is who created culture? What rules apply? What rules don’t? What is “autistic”? What isn’t “autistic”?

I often wonder I feel however so more closer to being a human being then defining myself by one word which means different things to different people.

When I was formally diagnosed in 2010 with autism I was told by my parents that you are still “Paul” and this diagnosis only changes one thing that you aware of what difficulties you have had.

Autism Is Apart Of? Not The Defining Factor? 

I would agree with them and be understanding my autism and as clustering of differing conditions I was able to piece together my “autism” not as I saw fit but looking at deeply and introspectively enough to understand myself and hopefully empower others.

I know what autism is for me it is apart of not the defining factor I feel indifferent and balanced about what it means. I have done enough research and consultancy work to know that personality types, co-conditions, environmental factors, metabolic disorders, auto-immune disorders, learning types and communication styles,  will have an impact on the presentation of one’s “autism” so what does that mean?

• Not one intervention works for all
• Not all the issues are the same despite have a similar and/or same diagnosis
• Not all people with autism have the same wants, needs, or desires
• Not all people on the spectrum have the same communication profiles
• Some people on the autism spectrum have auto-immune and metabolic issues which impact on functioning
• Some people with autism have dietary disabilities which impact on learning and information processing 
• Some people on the autism spectrum will have undiagnosed personality disorders and mental health co-conditions that keep being called “the autism” when they are not

I AM autistic but I HAVE immune deficiencies, I HAD cancer (apparently I can’t actually un-have it, its called remission) , I HAVE Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome… I also HAVE visual perceptual disorders, I HAVE language processing disorder, I HAVE mild learning disabilities.

I do not feel I AM these things, they are not ME, they walk alongside of me, often as parts of my autism, and whilst I AM autistic, just as I AM immune deficient, and I AM mildly learning disabled, Autism is not the sum total of who I am, it does not define my entire being or personhood, even if my personality traits are archetypally relatively ‘autistic’, I remain a person WITH autism… someone who HAS autism and, ok, IS autistic. The rest is war mongering militant separatist fascist crudola

– says Groucho
“PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON’T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT PEOPLE LIKE ME AS A MEMBER”.

Polly Samuel 2013

Overall autism is not the defining factor of my me. My personhood that will always shine first not because I am ashamed of my autism nor because I am not proud of it either I remain balanced in what that means it gives me clarity and sanity. I am a human being first.

Paul Isaacs 2017

Autism “Specialism”, Personality Profiles, Reverse Bigotry & Being Human

 

Many times people often focus on the person’s autism as all of “them” this means that the “autism” is the reason for all of their behaviours, reactions, actions and motivations. If you are on the autism spectrum you may well be aware of autism “stereotypes” such as an overtly logical, literal processor and extractor of information. If this is true in some cases it is far from the bigger picture and is far from the broader palette that is actually out there.

Let’s look at three examples of differing personality types

For the person with a Idiosyncratic personality type not fitting in a running along their own path maybe something that has brought them joy and/or isolation by “dancing to their own beat”, being naturally non-conformist, inventive and intuitive.

The Idiosyncratic Personality Type believe that your interests lie in (Oldham, pg. 252):

• not being like anyone else
• marching to your own beat
• being unconventional
• being original
• standing out from the crowd

For the person with a Conscientious personality type they may be fixed on being productive, useful and striving for success the fear of failure and self loathing could hinder their development for continued perfectionism, however being pragmatic and ordered in nature along with highly motivational work ethic has its benefits.

The interests of the Conscientious Character Style include (Oldham, pg. 62):

• having strong moral principles and being certain
• not resting until the job is done and done right
• being loyal to families, causes, and superiors
• working hard to do well
• achieving and accomplishing things
• loving to work and be challenged

 

For the person with a Solitary personality type being focused on being alone, in a “inner world” and not be swayed by praise, acknowledgment or criticism this may come with a lack of social and emotional development however their comfortable observations of the world offer patience, tranquillity and healthily reserve.

The interests of the Solitary Personality Type include (Oldham, pg. 275):

• not needing anyone but yourself
• being unmoved by the crowd
• being free of the need to impress and please
• being free of emotions and involvements with others
• having clarity of vision rather than sentiment and intimacy
• discovering and recording the facts of existence

The Problem With “Specialism”

Nobody is better than anyone else and that accounts for people on the spectrum too. I strive for balance, objectivity, kindness, empathy and equality. If someone is going to be militant with the focus being that people off the autism spectrum are collectively “wrong” then reverse bigotry is still bigotry and doesn’t into the framework of empowerment it creates more divisions, voices, lost, realties not acknowledged that in not progress but quite the opposite.

Personality types and the richness of them are for all people to share I have noted that mine are idiosyncratic, serious, mercurial and self-sacrificing by narrowing your bandwidth and not acknowledging that personality types have much to about development as the neurological and biological challenges means you are missing the fundamental part of “humanness.”

Promoting equality in difference and diversity, is what I believe in and I’ll strive for the opportunity to do that, wherever I find it.

Any derogatory or dismissive stance relating to non-autistic people as a group is no less a form of prejudice as any in history.

Polly Samuel

Autism, Personhood, Personality Types and Identity

Theses aspects of a person/human being  are different for all but at the same time very real so if someone’s “autism” is just seen as “collective autism” in other words all the “traits” are “autistic” then that reductive way of perceiving will mean that the personhood and associated traits may well be ignored. This will have an impact of self-identity, self-worth and could potentially push these personality types into “disordered extremes” impacting on functioning further.

Looking at the full package of autism that does include personality types and disordered extremes and the inter-relation that have on the person’s perceptions, mental health, identity and reactions to environment.

Paul Isaacs 2017

Future Diagnosis’ – A Further look Autism and Asperger “Fruit Salads” & The Inner Mechanics

The Changing Landscape of Autism Diagnosis

Looking how the scope of how the autism diagnosis has changed over the decades here is an overview

• 1940s and 1950s – Autism was considered a form of attachment disorder
• 1960s – Autism was considered a form of “childhood psychosis”
• 1970s and 1980s – Autism was considered a form of mental retardation
• 1990s – Asperger’s syndrome was added as a diagnostic criteria
• 2000s to now – Autism and the impact of sensory integration issues

The truth is autism is has different trajectories and components it is best to look at autism as 3 dimensional a stacking of pre-existing syndromes/conditions/disorders that are person-specific.

So let’s look at the breakdown between “Autism” and “Aspergers” Fruit Salad looking at through the lenses of Donna Williams’ analogy.

 

Autism “Fruit Salad”

• Higher prevalence of Hyptonia
• Higher prevalence of Sensory Perceptual Disorders
• Simultagnosia rather than Social Emotional Agnosia common
• Oral Apraxia of speech
• Aphasia and Verbal Agnosias common
• Higher prevalence of Exposure Anxiety rather that Avoidant Personality Disorder
• OCD is common rather than Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder
• Schizotypal/Idiosyncratic and Dependant/Devoted Personality Type/Disorders and common
• Higher prevalence of Gut, Immune and Metabolic Disorders & Associated Genetic Anomalies
• Dissociative Disorders are common
• Tourette Syndrome is common
• ADHD a common comorbitiy

 

Aspergers “Fruit Salad”

• Dyspraxia is common
• Higher Prevalence of Sensory Integration Disorders & Light Sensitivity
• Social Emotional Agnosia rather than Simultagnosia
• Faceblindness is common
• Semantic Pragmatic Disorder and Literal rather than Aphasic/Verbal Agnosia
• Obsessive Compulsive Personality/Conscientious Personality & Sensitive/Avoidant Personality  Type/Disorders Exposure Anxiety
• Schizoid Personality /Solitary Personality & Dependant/Devoted Personality Types/Disorders   Common
• Lower  prevalence of Gut, Immune and Metabolic Disorders & Associated Genetic Anomalies
• ADHD is a common comoribity
• Alexithymia is common

 

 

Conclusion

On the surface “Autism” and “Aspergers” may appear the “same” but digging deeper and looking at the profile differences and what makes up the differing profiles surely means that the wants, needs and interventions will be specific to the person in question and what they need will not be the same. Autism is not a generic “one size fits all” condition it is made up of many different elements specific to the person.

It is my wish that in the future when some is diagnosed with autism they will look a the full package this would include potentially different professionals being involved if differing diagnosis are willing to be made such as –

• Speech and Language Therapists
• Neurology Specialists
• Dietary Specialists
• Genetic Counselling
• Gut, Immune and Metabolic Specialists
• Mental Health Psychologists & Psychiatrists
• & Other Empowering Interventions

 

Paul Isaacs 2017