Some people whom commit sexual abuse on other people which includes rape, sadly may project innocence to the point in which they believe their own story and present it to the world.
Molestation and touching without consent is also not only a breach of trust, it’s a selfish, egotistical and narcissistic, it’s putting a person’s needs before another.
“Normalisation” Of Events
The fallout for the victim could well be forced “normalisation” of the event, through false apologies, gaslighting and manipulation of the facts.
An overall disregard for the emotional impact by the predator will no doubt have an impact on the victim.
So of course a predators nature should be accounted for, however the catch 22 will be if they are willing to admit to themselves what they have done.
Boundaries Are Needed
I have a personal peeve with people who disrespect other people’s bodies, a body should be touched only when their is a connected agreement between both parties. If there isn’t one must stop, if it continues then that is breaking boundaries, trust and seeing the person as a lust is not true connection.
Acts of apathy and indifference is compounding the problem can imagine being told your reality was not “real”? Or that your reality was something that “just happened” and was met with almost chronic indifference from a social and systematic perspective?
The British Empire Was Driven By Racist Ideology
White privilege is happening and it’s warped hierarchy has been happening for well over 400 years, when the British Empire stole land, resettled and uprooted the gears of this machine did start to turn.
It is irresponsible and insufficient to view the separation of family units in the Caribbean through a lens that ignores the massive legacy of slavery – which is how most those families came to live there in the first place – and its relationship with the Commonwealth.
It’s seeped into our “British Culture”as “normal”, in education, in employment, in media, in books and in movies etc.
“Before, people had to hide their racism. If you felt something bad about about black people, about Muslims, you had to shut up. Now these people have the confidence to come out in public to say everything. This is scary to me, that scares the shit out of me.”
What I have learnt today is a great lesson in the fact the brain can only take in a certain amount of information at a time, people have a unfortunate tendency to put a hierarchy on trauma, that one is worse, one is this more and other is less.
The truth is that devalues both parties to being just about the subject of comparisons, emotional detachment and spawning a level of guilt that person’s own trauma reactions is not compatible bases on the notion of “being less” therefore an inappropriate expression or reaction.
I have never believed that one’s life experiences should traded for another’s based on how someone should feel, nor do I agree with a person monopolising an experience to their own ends. It devalues both the experiences and realities of the subjects at hand.
Trauma & Rationality
I have recently met all my traumas as realities in their own right, the emotional and sexual abuse at school, the emotional and psychological abuse at placements of employment, the death of my Grandparents and the illnesses that have almost killed my parents. They are experiences but not definitions of my overall character.
I take the learned experience of taking autonomy, objectivity and emotionality of all these events, understood them, internalised them as I was always myself and never sought projection as a game worth playing. I would never change a thing in my life as it has tempered my spirit, served valued lessons and kept me humble.
Detached Surface Responses
Superficiality it is like being presented a cake and realising beyond the icing there is nothing more than air underneath. I refused to play the ritualistic notion of “being a victim” as yet again it is a detachment from self not a synthesis of of the latter. False identity is just if not more taxing than not knowing who you are at all. Self respect is needed.
Self love is not selfishness, nor is empathy about other always putting your needs first, then a person must treat into the middle in which care for others and yourself should be of equal beauty.
Autism, Personhood & Identity
With regards to my autism, I personally have never seen it as all of “me”, it is not omnipresent and nor would it make sense for it to be so. I say this not out of shame but out of balance.
So many other aspects of my life being woven into the interlinking quilt of personhood that makes “Paul” let’s at least see people being defined by more than one word.
Emotional abuse is subtle – it comes in various guises and because there are no visible wounds or scars it is difficult to detect. Emotional abuse damages children’s self-concept, and leaves them believing that they are unworthy of love and affection. Emotional abuse is invariably present in all types of abuse, and the long-term harm from emotional abuse can be equally, if not more damaging, than other forms of abuse.
Childhood Trauma, Negative Core Beliefs, Perfectionism And Self-Injury (2012) by Jan Sutton
Talking with my CBT therapist yesterday she described that young children are vulnerable to the projection and distortion of “core beliefs”if they are exposed to them from an early age, this no doubt can run into the sub-conscious mind and the person can then act out (with out knowing) these belief systems.
The memory came from when I was around the ages of 7 I was functionally non-verbal and I was told to have a meeting with the headteacher in her office at around lunchtime.
I was in this office for an hour, my parents had not been notified of the meeting, I was not fed or watered that day as a result. I shall bullet point the overall presentation of what she projected to me, during the meeting I had largely dissociated.
You do not walk properly
You do not talk properly
You cannot learn properly
You do not learn in the same way as the other children
You cannot tie your shoelaces
You walk around alone in the playground
This took due to visual-verbal processing and mentalising challenges not only a long time to sink in what she said, but also a level of self-awareness that this had an impact on my self-perception, development and functioning. Through out education my perspectives were often maligned, discarded, ignored or not acted upon in an objective, rationale manner. In 1996 I was sent for therapy at the Park Hill Hospital in Oxford.
The specialist in question had little understanding of my presentation or how I felt about the current situation, it was heavily implied towards the end of the assessment that my parents were abusing me and thus I was attachment disordered.
Sexual Abuse As Teenager
What to Expect After a Teen Is Sexually Abused
Being a teen is already a stressful and confusing time. Experiencing sexual abuse makes life even more confusing. Teens often act as if the abuse did not happen. The pain is too much at times so they work hard to avoid the pain. You may notice in your teen feelings of sadness, nervousness, guilt, and fear; changes in behavior such as withdrawing from friends and family, a drop in school performance, or trouble sleeping; avoiding reminders of the abuse such as people, places, or things; or engaging in unhealthy behaviors such as running away, substance abuse, self-mutilation, or suicidal ideation.
I was around 15 at the time is came as repressed memory many years later in 2011 (night terrors) and I pursued counselling in 2013 I was made to believe that the repression was not real.
This not being believed and listened (by a professional) then lead me to make my own way to the place where it happened at get closure, I looked at the door for which seemed like forever and I walked silently away.
The incident itself was of anal penetration by a person older than me that was confined in the boys changing rooms and that is all I can remember on the subject, however I can piece to together problems it presented –
I am thankful for all my experiences that have happened in my life, positive and negative, good and bad, right or wrong. One has to thank people whom bestowed things onto you it has given me perspective, opened up the pursuit of a balanced self and objective happiness, the promotion of healthy boundaries and ethics has furthered my ability to be connected with myself as person as opposed to a false projection.
I suppose times are hard at these moments and one needs time to reflect upon the differing aspects of life, love and true connection.
Admiration, inspiration is not love or connection it is looking at someone from a far, human beings have learnt to live (through the western world) to project how they expect or are told to be feeling, thinking and acting and not connecting with how they are truly are from the inside.
Education & Learning
The education system is broken and needs to change goes beyond logistics,ethics timetables and class structure it is how children are taught, respected and listened to.
That has to be held to account. I have always seen children as “little people” meaning they are of equal valour and should not be patronised but seen on a level that embraces and acknowledges them as human beings.
When one is a teenager you are expected to be an “adult” which is a subjective phrase to you to use because biologically and chronologically a person isn’t anyway, emotions are not explored in a way which is not attuned to the individual.
A person at the very least in a structured educational environment should be given the opportunity to have a healthy relationship with them, to understand, process them and to explore them without fear of judgement or the vices of division.
Practically of life is one thing but love for a fellow human being is not. Why? Humans are not cookie cutter pre-molded mind-scapes or sausage laden meat blobs of sameness.
In an egalitarian framework we in practice could acknowledge all people’s realities, inner worlds and perceptions of equal and balanced valour with everyone else.
Mental Health & The Culture Of “Fame”
Is that why our mental health system is clogged full of people feeling unfurnished? Unsettled? and inferior? Is it to do with the trans-generational and false concept of emotions that is being passed down on to the next? Is societies currency of fame, money and the material and external as basis of “success” damaging and warping young mindsets into a journey not of self discovery but same discovery. This is worthy of reflecting upon not in a overly logical or intellectual sense but an internal one.
Connected Reasons For Actions & Choices
How many people are there in the world that do things only to oblige? All the time? That do things upon themselves because they have to keep up with the Jones? Like it has has been pre- written that this time and thus this moment they must be thinking, feeling, acting and doing like pre-programmed machine people to make friends on this level, have sexual intercourse on this level, marry on this level and have children on this level.
Now its not these life choices that I am bringing into to question, its the level of connectness with the ACT of doing these things on an emotional level that I am questioning. Never do things because you are shoe-horned under false pretences.
You do not got to a party as someone else for everyone would love and adorn under the falsehood of projecting, knowing full well that if you went as a real human being you would shunned at the doorstep.
Self Love Isn’t Selfishness
Unhappiness is sometimes a person who’s good character has been polarised, a person who has been made to feel expendable and exchangeable and this all comes down to what a person feels connection is. True connection is having a level of self-love and self-care but not at the expense of another persons reality.
A heartfelt and honest account of someone who turned to conspiracy theories during a traumatic time in her life.I have a lot of respect for this person opening up about the road that lead her to this and the rationale that got her out of it.
Things do not always happen for a reason, things just happen with not logic, build-up or frequency. She has come to the same conclusion albeit through very trying and emotionally difficult circumstances.
“Today, when I look at social media, sure, I see a few people sharing Covid-19 conspiracy theories, but what I see more of is people creating feelings of control and peace in more functional ways: sewing masks, helping neighbors get food, scheduling Zoom happy hours, gardening, and expressing gratitude for health care workers. These actions signal a healthier approach to chaos and trauma — not one anchored in either anger or fear but rooted in presence and gratitude, and echoing a profound tolerance for ambiguity.”
Psychopaths are more more likely to operate in self interest rather than for other people. This is the problem with conspiracy theories is they divert attention with warped misinformation. People need to be held account and it’s the politicians and even partly the science and medical advisers who need to watch their tongues when speaking to the public
Stop down playing death rates and contradicting the validity of death rates in other countries, it you that compare them. Make apologises for gross ethical negligence on a national scale. This has happened for one simple reason greed, money over life, profit over people. That is when the system of ego is allowed to run wild. When a psychopath gets put in places of power and influence then they become dangerous.
So what can be done about this? Changing the system, changing the infrastructure of education, healthcare, politics and validation of the empathy and social binding.We need kindly and empathic people in places of power and responsibility not the people we have currently. I am so pleased I do not understand the complex workings of politics it saves me from the bullshit bingo supplied on a daily basis.
As a Black parent and community worker I have spent much of my life campaigning against racism and other forms of oppression. In recent years I have been involved in challenging discrimination and stereotypes about young Black men and autism and in particular the impact of oppression on the lives of Black autistic young people in education. I have my own personal story about fighting back against high rates of school exclusions of vulnerable African Caribbean Boys.
A2nd Voice an organisation that bring families from Black and Minority Ethnic Communities together to ensure that autistic voices heard hosted a presentation by Paul Issacs that was excellent. Paul Issac presented his work on autism and mental health conditions that opened up new ways of thinking about a holistic approach and assessment of the whole person and their individual experience. Paul explore’s Donna Williams approach of autism as a ‘fruit salad’.
I presented video workshops on the system of sensing, coined by the late Donna Williams in the presentations I spoke and covered as follows:
What is the system of Sensing?
What is the system of Interpretation?
What is the system of “Ego”?
What is the “Real world vs. Hierarchy?”
How the Nervous System Decodes Sensory Information.
What is Mergence?
Is it a place we all (human beings) come from?
The System of Sensing & Mental Health Workshop Part 1
The System of Sensing & Mental Health Workshop Part 2
Donna Williams Interview about the System of Sensing Autism and Asperger’s Experiences
NANCY BEKHOR:
The term, NONVERBAL seems to have a different meaning in the following two contexts of autism
1) Highly logical individuals, with so called ‘Asperger Syndrome’, who have difficulty with understanding the ‘non verbal’ aspect of conventional speech. This shows up, for example, as missing the ‘joke’ or sarcasm… basically where words themselves do not convey %100 of meaning intended.
2) On the other hand, the ‘non verbal’ realm, which you speak of in your book, Autism and Sensing, is a mode of information communicated by feeling, intuition, sensation… a place of art, ‘knowing without asking or learning’ (as with savants). Here the more typical individual has difficulty understanding.
Are these 2 different meanings or different degrees of non-verbal?
DONNA WILLIAMS:
They are definitely two different experiences entirely.
There is NONVERBAL LANGUAGE DISORDER (disorder in NONVERBAL language systems such as body language, intonation, facial expression) and being FUNCTIONALLY NON VERBAL. Totally different conditions. Though those who have one can also have the other or have only one of these… same as one can have blond hair and be short or one or the other.
Asperger’s & Social Emotional Agnosia
Now Social Emotional Agnosia seen in Aspergers is a NONVERBAL LANGUAGE DISORDER and means people can’t naturally perceive any meaning to facial expression, body language, intonation unless overtly taught it. This leads them to compensate through logic, intellect and because they generally don’t easily sense this missing realm they develop high intellect rather than high ability to sense pattern, theme, feel.
Autism Sensory Perceptual Disorders & Language Perception Processing
By contrast those with significant sensory or sensory perceptual deficits are not necessarily impaired in the social-emotional realm so it is more natural for them to expand into that realm as a compensation for sensory or sensory perceptual deficits. This is whether because they are blind, deaf, deaf-blind or the perceptual equivalents of meaning deaf (verbal agnosia), meaning blind (visual agnosia) or both.
In other words human beings can be more or less sensing, but if they ALSO have significant sensory or sensory perceptual deficits AND they have no neurological obstacles to sensing (such as Social Emotional Agnosia) then they will be reasonably more likely to become more highly reliant on sensing pattern, theme, feel through whichever sensory perceptual systems are still intact.
So it HAPPENS that there is no sensory perceptual reason for Aspies to be FUNCTIONALLY NONVERBAL in the sense of being speechless. But those who have significant meaning deafness and meaning blindness may have significant struggles to acquire SEMANTICS to speech and will then lack the PRAGMATICS too. Depending on personality and whether they do or don’t additionally have Oral Dyspraxia, Speech Aphasia or Selective Mutism, those with significant meaning deafness/meaning blindness will often be echolalic. Many who have speech and communication disorders (including echolalia) will then be more subject to secondary Selective Mutism. So it HAPPENS that those most likely to become highly sensing as a COMPENSATORY ADAPTATION for significant sensory perceptual disorders will also be those most likely to be functionally non-verbal.
Saying that, SOME will develop fluent type-speaking and some have progressed to functional speech and still remain highly sensing.
Westernised society has conditioned many people to be enraptured by the such emotional rigidity, as to the falseness of how such perceived “negative emotions” and “positive emotions” are handled with.
“Faux Emotional” Responses & Polarising Negative/Positive Thought Patterns
Smiles and joy are not painted on and should never be supplied as a shallow coping mechanism for darkly thought-scapes, that means you will never understand the lessons of both true sadness and happiness, they both exist to give each other meaning and clarity.
It you are disconnected from BOTH you will never get the timely validity of either.
I have noted that some of my expressions of sadness and melancholy have confused or even upset, however these emotions just “are” they are neither “good or bad”, “right or wrong” they are a human EMOTION to be explored.
Conclusion
Feel things without the threat of judgement. Or put up cladding that in the end distances you further from yourself and other people.
In times of great unrest do not believe the mass neurosis of conspiracy theorists that is being projected by David Icke and people who are following his “new age awakenings”
They are pointing fingers into smoke and mirrors, producing further fear and illogical reasoning for worldly matters. I believe this could have a massive negative impact to people with pre-existing mental health conditions. We are dealing with a serious virus and I feel this is a dangerous distraction to the seriousness of the situation.
Corruption Doesn’t Mean Conspiracy
What we do know is governments are corrupt simply because they can be, we live a top down society because money sadly is more meaningful than life.
There is no grand “New World Order” just human beings wallowing in ethos of greed.
Conclusion and Rationality
Remember these people are using this current uncertain situation as ballast to project their “theories” as “truth”. The truth is corruption grows when people go unchallenged.
