Autism, Musings of a Faceblind and Object Blind Child

As I child the lack of visual and facial coherence meant that the visual world didn’t pry for the bonding and connective meanings that relied of multiple visual stimulus’, faces meant nothing and visual association was hollow, flat and soulless so I didn’t apply the connections of “me”, you” and “I”.

My first friend was “water” not the interpretive word but the emotional recoil that I gathered and like a friend it was there to give and take. I would see the puddles, flush the toilets and knew from them what would come. A timely wave of energy which was a akin to expectation as the water flowed the twinkles of spray in the surrounding area and the light shards bouncing off the sun in the morning.

“Bear” was used as a transitional object he was large, course and scratchy and would sit next to me in the car when my parents went out and about.

The Mirror in the bathroom and other places was a constant source of fascination it took me until 16 to released that “him” was “me” but I found it a comfort not to be alone.

On a pre-conscious level I was “sensing” and “tuning in” to an apart of myself which I wasn’t able to make the connection with in real time so it was slow process from infancy to mid-teenage hood. Having a level of aphasia, visual-verbal agnosias delayed the process but I am thankful to have given myself a “project” to work on and to bridge the gap between my world, the world and other peoples worlds.

This was a feeback loop in which I was finding other through self and self through other (the sense that the person in the mirror was “other”) this brought upon the slow bridging between my internal world of sensing to a level of intereptation.

Paul Isaacs 2018

Autism – The Crossover from “Sensing” to “Meaning”

 

Note this is from a personal perspective

Talking yesterday to friend about speech and language I thought it was interesting to see progression the inner feelings of someone who has gone through significant challenges in receptive and expressive language. I can remember a whole host of disconnected emotions that came flooding towards my person when speech slowly developed in terms of expression, a whirl wind of patterns, phonics and placements in my collective unglued memory and figured out by the ages of eight a system of external placement, phonic placement and movement sequences that helped me connect with the outer world around me.

However what was challenging from both emotional and integration point of view was taking a step away from the system of “sensing” (Donna Wiliiams 1998) a state of pre-consciousness, patterns, thematics and “feelings” that answered and questioned, that supplied and didn’t demand, that sang but didn’t shout, that gave and took in relevance of the moment it was captured. A place which “being” was the name of the game and “storing information” was redundant and futile.

It was a world in which in my own way I had found connects through external sensory modulation as explained so switching my “systems” was much a painful and frustrating experience as I can ever remember my connected chatter annoyed and scared me and the connected words would then bring upon the attention of connected response to which I was not readily to respond.

So was it like losing a friend well at that point yes I was making subtle yet significant transition into the world of interpretation, cladding, hierarchy and applied meaning for someone who was profoundly meaning deaf and meaning blind to those concepts it certainly makes sense why I wanted to “go back” into a world of “sensing” it was in reflection both a prison and sanctuary, solitude and disarray and home and wilderness all at once.

We (human beings) all come from the system of “sensing” however my personal experience is being “there” for a longer allotted period and many ways I am still there with reflective gaining and personal developmental progressions that have come with it.

Paul Isaacs 2018

Egotisms vs. “Developemtnal Egocentrisms” – Understanding “Other Through Self” In Autism

Note this is from a personal perspective

To be a egotist one must have a self-inflated sense of “self” (the ego) in which everything has to be about them, for them and with them you could construed this a narcissism and unhealthy relationship with ego and the ability to get “other” as necessary part of life. This doesn’t mean that people with autism cannot be egotists by the way.

Oxford Living Definition

1.1 Centred in or arising from a person’s own individual existence or perspective.

‘Egocentric spatial perception’

“Developmental” Egocentrism

This on the “surface” in its multiple forms see like the “same” if a  person taps on the surface this could be as so but what is the person is trying (unconsciously in some cases) to understand other?

Faceblindness and Mirrors

It took me years up to the age of 16 years to realise that the “friend” that followed me into the bathroom and public toilets was “me” I sought a lot of comfort from “him” as I stared into the mirror I wasn’t aware that it was “self” so I played with the “friend” pulling faces, gestures, expression contorting my features etc. Transfixed I would struggled to perceive that was in the mirror was behind “me” leaning the toward the mirror I would try to pick things out of it not understanding the concept of “mirror” is reflection one’s own physical form.

Meaning Deafness and Echolalia

I would have contradictory experience with being profoundly meaning deaf all around me was fragmented people making “soundscapes” to one another this would both intrigue, annoy and frightening me depending on the context, the people and the situation. Listening to jingles, TV shows and VHS’ was indirectly and opening for “other” I could follow the patterns of the program endlessly as they were in the end a linear form of repetition of sounds, colours and movements.

Visual perception and Making Connections

Being both meaning blind and object blind meant my visual world was redundant and I was only using up to 30 percent of information (taking into account visual perception is around 70 percent of information). I would “live” in a system of sensing (before typical interpretations and applied meaning) for connected experiences they had to come from other senses, touch, taste, smell and movement gave “life” to my physical environment. I would connect with “people” in a fragmented manner smell, touch, patterns of movement etc.

Using One’s Own “System”

I have no doubt in  reflection on my experiences that I have made progression in many areas however the point I am trying to make is the context of autism is that “developmental egocentric systems” in my case were used as “bridge” unconsciously or otherwise understand “other”. The internal struggle was the blockages developmentally and neurologically to extract my own though systems, interpretive systems and inner/outer dialogue of coherence at time where I could not get a shared “sense of social”.

Paul Isaacs 2018

A Journey With Cancer, Treatments & Side-Effects

 

Cancer is a hard thing to talk about my Dad was diagnosed in 2009 with a type of blood cancer called Chronic Lymphocytic Leukaemia which attacks the white blood cells and comprises the auto-immune system. Early warning signs included fatigue and hard node underneath his armpit. After this diagnosis he got a second which would change the outlook of mortality and treatment in which he had genetic mutation of the p53 gene which is called the “guardian angel” gene for cancer. He in 2010 had been given three months to live if he didn’t have a bone marrow transplant (which came from Germany and the person had the same genetic deletion) it was then he had chemotherapy the the transplant.

He told me that one of the most difficult things prior was signing a piece of paper acknowledging that there is a 25 percent risk of him dying through this procedure. I am sad to say it but one of the worst things about the experience was the wards lack of knowledge on Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome and by letting staff members know actually made an already compromised and critical situation much worse he was name-called, laughed at and escorted out of his room during the his last day he belongings stuffed into black bags and told to wait in the communal room despite him almost dying almost three times in the 12 weeks due to fungal pneumonia. I trained them in autism for an hour.

The team gave him too much of the bone marrow donor swapping a life threatening disease to a chronic disease called Graft (donor) vs. Host (the person) disease which attacks the soft tissue, eyelids, foreskin, lips, mouth, gums etc leading to tooth decay, gum recession in my Dads case

The drugs he takes now is something called perdnisolone which was created in the 1940s in is a type of immune-suppressant which in the short term is very good but in the long term can have dramatic and even life-threatening consequences. My Dad has been on this drug for over six years and the effect on his life have been drastic mood swings, mania lasting days, explosive and odd reactions to sometimes the most trivial of comments, impulsive behaviours, personality changes (narcissistic and self-centred ideals quite the opposite to my Father’s kindly nature), psychotic episodes and paranoia. The hardening of the trunk of his body means he finds it hard to breath (dermatological disease), high blood pressure and muscle spasms and the constant flip-flopping of drugs (if you go over 20mg of pred you must take additional tablets to counter the side-effects of this). His body is steroid dependant meaning that I feel there should be alternate looks into helping a person safely ween off this drug.

Recently my Dad went “cold turkey” for over a month because of these side-effects his nervous system went into shock in the second week causing him to vomit, blood pressure to drop and so he self admitted to the triage in which he was giving pred as the only option. Chemotherapy, Radiotherapy and Predisoalone are all legal but destroyed and suppressed my Dad’s immune system to the point that he wasn’t my Dad anymore. I know there are other family members going through this I would like to say you have my sympathies.

I would to point out that my Dad is a positive and assertive person and through continued self direction, realist attitude, objectivity he strives to live his life as full as he can. 😊

#disablityandcancer #immunenology #autoimmunedisease #CCL#p53GeneDeletion #Aspergerssynrome #autism #sterioddependant #life#cancersupport #cancercare

Paul Isaacs 2018

An “Autistic Mind?” Really?

Stretched along a small fractional time-span of life which I have lived in comparison to the elders around me, I sought to wonder my inked mind of swirlyness in which fragments put out of the ghost-like fog like bearing lanterns in London in times of old.

My mind is blocked in certain areas of passage but not as much as it used to be in terms of having a “seeing mind” and “hearing brain” that boggles with pre-filtered thoughts that extract readily through my fingertips as if a giant piece of knowledge was wailed with me knowing why or what it is used for.

I would say if anything my mind is “human” as subjective as a term should be, but never the less as true as the sun in the sky and the forests in the wood that is in mind at the heart of the matter, the core that runs the coils, the heart-mind that beast my inner cavern of light and darkly thoughts .

My eager soul is not wanting the when whole cake of me to be seen as “autistic” because in the end if you had an “autistic cake” would it really just taste of “autism” I think it tastes of so much more drenched a mouth of fruitful flavoursome differences that colour my being stretched on a canvas of existence.

Paul Isaacs 2018

Basket Case 3 Blu- ray Review

 

OVERVIEW

The Original “Basket Case” was shot on a low-budget and in 16mm it starts off where the original left us after a quick recap it (with a blow-up version of the original print) we go from 16mm to 35mm! And the two brothers Duane and Belial are very much alive and know they have a family.

“Basket Case 3” is the final entry in the saga in which Belial sets out to have a family he in a quite place for his brother and friends in a idealistic country home. Social commentary is played out through the birth of Belial’s children, the loss of his partner all done with high camp but never the less a heart felt sincerity and dignity.

What I like about the third entry is the horror is second to the story, their is more exposition given the larger budget, a larger selection of characters and a further improvement on special effects the humour is slapstick, gory and above all funny!

VIDEO

 

Second Sight have again done a brilliant job with the full 35mm presentation of the movie with colours and tone being detailed, deep and rich really showing of the extensive Belial upgrade and prosthetic make-up effects. There are the accusation specs of grain and dark other than that a brilliant presentation.

I watched this on my HD TV and in comparison to the previous DVD releases this is a big improvement most notable colour detail, image quality this an fantastic presentation.

AUDIO

I am glad Second Sight like with Arrow’s release of “Basket Case” kept to the roots of its original audio which is 2 channel stereo presentation which is clear, crisp with no audible problems such as distortion or hiss which is very good.

CONCLUSION

I wildly strange yet sincere tour de force of social commentary laced with Henenlotter’s wild genius for odd ball humour, witty dialogue and earnest sense of family “values” the original movies precedent of not “fitting in” comes full circle with the development of the two main characters that in end you care about.

Paul Isaacs 2018

 

Left Hemisphere, Right Hemisphere & The “Mechanics” Of Autism “Fruit Salads”

When looking at autism “fruit salads” and function of both brain hemispheres it is interesting look at the difficulties in each area.

Looking at Donna Williams’ work on the subject of the differences between “Aspie” and “Autie” fruit salads was to do with hemisphere dominance and neglect a trade off between on or the other with “Aspinauts” being the “grey area” of in-between.

On a personal note I always thought she was on to something and looking at this simple table backs it up, consultancy observations, personal experiences and tireless effort to give people a better understanding of both DISablity and disABILITY with autism.

http://brain.web-us.com/brain/LRBrain.html

Right Hemishpere (Asperger’s) “Fruit Salad”

Extralinguistic Deficits

Again, RHD patients are unlikely to display the kinds of phonological, syntactic or semantic problems associated with aphasia. However, although they do not typically have many specific language problems, they definitely have difficulty communicating. This impairment seems to follow from an inability to integrate information; RHD patients apparently do not make adequate use of context in their interpretations of linguistic or nonlinguistic messages. They have difficulty distinguishing significant from unimportant information. For example a patient of mine when asked to describe the “Cookie Theft” picture card from the Boston focused on irrelevant features without describing the overall picture. Some aphasics with typical left hemisphere lesions present with executive function disturbance similar to right hemisphere syndrome.

Literal Interpretations

RHD patients may be able to comprehend only the literal meaning of language. Thus, they will often fail to understand many jokes, metaphors, irony, sarcasm, and common sayings that include figurative language. For example, if an RHD patient hears someone say that they are about to “hit the ceiling,” he might assume that the person is really about to begin striking the ceiling. Such a patient may also have trouble understanding indirect requests. For example, if he is asked if he “could open the window,” he may fail to identify this as a polite request and simply answer “yes” rather than opening the window.

These problems with figurative language may be viewed as one manifestation of the inability to base interpretations on context.

Difficulty identifying relevant information

When listening to a conversation or reading, an RHD patient may fail to abstract the main point contained in the information being shared. This happens in spite of the fact that, unlike an aphasic, the patient can understand all the individual words and grammatical structures used. For RHD patients, it appears that their comprehension of everyday language is impaired by a failure to distinguish important information from irrelevant detail and also by an inability to integrate According to Blake 2007, RH patients have difficulty comprehending non-literal language, humor, and multiple interpretations Furthermore, Blake says that their difficulty with language production includes: impulsivity, inefficiency, and egocentricity. She also says that the same problems are seen in traumatic brain injury.

Inability to interpret body language and facial expressions

In a conversation, RHD may miss out on important cues that should tell them about the emotional state and true intention of the person with whom they are interacting. This inability to interpret body language and facial expression may be related to an overall failure to use context in the interpretation of individual pieces of information. Problems with the interpretation of facial expression may also be due to the fact that RHD patients often fail to maintain eye contact with their conversation partners.

Flat affect

RHD patients may fail to display a wide range of facial expressions themselves. Also their speech is frequently aprosodic, or lacking variations in pitch and stress. Some patients will sound “robot-like,” and thus be unable to express emotion or changes in meaning via changes in intonation. These patients will no longer be able to vary pitch to signal the difference between a question and a statement or use word stress changes within a sentence to signal a difference in meaning.

Problems with Conversational Rules

RHD patients may fail to follow conversational rules, including those governing turn-taking, the initiation and closure of a conversation. RHD patients may tend to dominate conversations, as they are frequently verbose. They may also fail to properly estimate levels of shared knowledge, failing to give the listener enough background information to understand their statements. According to Myers and Mackisack (1990), RHD patients appear to not care about the needs of the listener. They, like children in an early developmental phase, may assume too much knowledge on the part of the listener; or not enough. They appear to answer without adequate search for the right answer. They also may fail to pick up on non verbal cues that signal listener’s reactions.

Impulsivity

RHD patients may exhibit poor judgment and problem solving abilities. They may require constant supervision due to a tendency to attempt tasks of which they are no longer physically capable. This may be related to anosognosia. They may also exhibit impulsivity in the sense of failing to censor the statements they make to other people.

Confabulation

RHD patients may make untrue statements. These do not usually seem to be deliberate lies. According to Brownwell et al. (1995), this may be the patient’s way of responding to his own confusion rather than attempts to mislead the listener

The Neuroscience on the Web Series:
CMSD 636 Neuropathologies of Language and Cognition
CSU, Chico, Patrick McCaffrey, Ph.D.

There tends to be a lower level of visual-verbal processing difficulties in this profile, social emotional agnosia, alexithymia, issues around a shared “sense” of social, self and other. Internal mentalising (to gain meaning)  would make sense.

 

Left Hemisphere (Autism)  “Fruit Salad”

• Sensory disturbances, weakness or paralysis on the right side of the body. Read more.
• Impaired vision on the right hand side of both eyes. (hemianopia)
• Speech and language problems (aphasia).
• Difficulties in recognizing objects (agnosia).
• Problems with daily activities, routines that used to go well (apraxia).
• Reduced memory for verbal (spoken) matters.
• Decrease in analytical skills.
• Problems with chronology (in order of time, cause and effect)
• Reduced timing and speed of skills
• Confusing left and right
• Difficulty in dealing with numbers, understand numbers and dealing with money
• Become slow
• Exhibit insecure, anxious and withdrawn behavior
• Risk of depression
• Chance of changing moods, easily overwhelmed by emotions

© 2014 – 2018 Braininjury-explanation.com Foundation

There seems to be a higher level of visual-verbal processing difficulties, language processing disorder, sensory perctupaul agnosias, problem with a sense of “self” and other.  External mentalising (to gain meaning) would make sense.

Paul Isaacs 2018