Paul Isaacs' Blog

Autism from the inside


Leave a comment

An Accessible Look At My Autism Profile – Part 1

ReceptionThis is a laymen’s terms/accessible version of my autism profile – although I have written previous blogs with technical information about the “mechanics” of my autism here is an “easy read” version of my autism which is broken down into a heading and paragraphs and/or sentences with hyperlinks attached for further information. 

As always this is from a personal perspective.

Alexithymia (Emotional Processing)

Not understanding, processing or receiving my own emotions in “real time” this also affects how I understand bodily messages such as thirst and hunger – Poetry, painting , drawing and music help me process my emotions contextually.

Aphasia (Language Processing)

I have processing delay with language this means I struggle to find words, lose them, find them again and lose them again etc – I live before literal and struggle to find significance in language – however music, bests, rhythm and gesture help me access meaningful language.

Speech Delay (Developmental Milestone)

The developmental milestone of speech was delayed noticeably during my early years (please checkout other blogs for further information).

Language Delay (Developmental Milestone)

The developmental language milestone where delay even when speech was acquired.

Speech Apraxia (Verbal Dyspraxia) (Body Disconnection/Mouth)

I had a disconnect between my body and brain so my brain would have words but my body (mouth, jaws, tongue and lips) didn’t seem to want to “join up” this lead to feeling of heightened frustration to total indifference.

Selective Mutism – (once functional speech was acquired) (Co-Condition

In times of anxiety and/or dissociation I would choose to be mute

Tic Disorder & Globus Pharyngis (Co-condition/Mental Health) – 8 Years old – was called a “Nervous Throat”

This was due to a sensation of something being within my throat this would cause me to throat clear in an abrupt and idiosyncratic (odd) fashion.

Echophenomena (Developmental Milestones – Speech, Movement, Body Language)

  1. Echolalia – Echoing of words (delayed and instant)
  2. Echopraxia Echoing of movements (delayed)
  3. Echomimia Echoing of facial expressions (delayed)
  4. Palilalia Echoing of one’s own words (instant/delayed)

Visual Agnosias (Visual Perceptual Disorders/”Seeing” without meaning and/or “Seeing” but not piecing the “wholes” together)

Semantic Agnosia (Meaning Blindness)

Not retaining what is being seen so I would tap, sniff, lick, rub, mouth and tongue to gain a reality and an experience of my environment.

Simultagnosia (Object Blindness)

Not seeing in wholes – so seeing “fragments” and not seeing the “whole picture”

Prosopagnosia (Face Blindness)

Not processing faces and/or recognising  people by their faces.

Visual – Verbal Agnosia (Comprehension Blindness)

Reading without internalising/retaining meaning

Colour Agnosia

Seeing colours but not processing/understanding or recognising differentiation between them by name (in my case I recognise red but struggle to sometimes name of colours)

Mirror Agnosia (visual processing) 

Not understanding nor processing “other” or “self”  in mirrors for example I would and still get fooled by mirrors and when I was younger used to think that was behind me was in front of me.

Form Agnosia (Visual/Cognitive/Auditory & Contextual) 

Not configuring the “whole”

Pure Auditory Agnosia (Auditory Perception)

Not processing/understanding or the “origins” of sounds and associating them when I next “hear” them.

Language Auditory Agnosia (Meaning Deafness)

A type of aphasia (Language processing disorder).

Tonal Agnosia (Atonia) (Language Processing)

I “hear” tone but sometimes do not associate with meaning.

Pain Agnosia (Body Disconnection) 

I do not process pain at all or there is a significant delay in recognition.

Visualspatial Dysgnosia (Body Blindness)

I do not recognise my body in space so I wear tight clothes, bracelets, tight shoes to get a “reference” of my body.

Finger Agnosia (Digit Blindness)

As a child I had trouble reference that I had fingers and “where they were” this was due to body disconnection.

Paul Isaacs 2015


Leave a comment

Nina Hagen – A Punk With Soul

Nina HagenOVERVIEW

Nina Hagen is surprisingly someone (being a fan of 80’s new wave and alternative music) I missed out on.. until now and of course I was hooked on her music as soon as I heard her, from the sharp and progressive musical arrangements to the odd, strange and wild idiosyncrasies both on stage and the amazing vocal range but nevertheless alluring and carved and interesting and one off discography and legacy in the punk/alternative music scene.

FRIENDLY ALTERNATIVE SINGLES 

  • My Way To be honest Hagen’s cover punches more creditability into the lyrics, mixing her amazing range (going here, there and everywhere within the venture of the song), a creepy synth intro and sung in both english and german in is a tour de force in originality.
  • Ziggy Stardust – I like Hagen’s take on this glam rock classic- her range is broader than Bowie’s and from the first perceiving and haunting intro to the waspish sting of her voice waving and meandering it has a epic quality to this she does (like with My Way) make this song her own.
  • African Reggae – Who would of thought that punk, rock, reggae and opera could go to together from the mix of range broadening palette her musical genre mashing and lavish musical arrangement to flowing the nature of the lyrics this is experimental music at it’s best.
  • Smack Jack – The ethereal whistling at the start to the punchy chorus and the lingering and overt message of someone who is in the hell of drug abuse the guttural rang of her voice as if she is talking to the person directly (as a male alter-ego). It comes across very much like spoken word single with the musical arrangement kept to a minimal (electronic bursts and guitar riffs) an important message to be held in this single.
  • Zarah – With an impressive opening that comes across like an old movie or sitting in a sold out opera house it has a dream-like quality then the smash, crazy riffs, quirky danceable electronic licks and the rolling of Nina’s Rs this single has the unique ability to be both upbeat and odd all rolled into one – for all the right reasons of course love is very much for everyone.
  • New York New York – A cool opening which comes across almost jazz like with a smattering of a repetitive beat then boom the night life of this famous city is given a take all of its own with a story on Nina going on her travels in the diverse night-life that has a epic quality and amazing over-the-top chorus that is operatic in tones and integrity is bone-tingling and danceable track indeed.
  • Universal Radio – A song in itself about being one’s self and not being embroiled in the negativity around you just want to be balanced? This may well be the song for you with a catching beat –  personally I prefer the 12inch Long play version of this as it emphasises the musical arrangement of synthesizer and beats and the high pitched melodic quality of Nina’s vocals.
  • Don’t Kill The Animals – w/ Lene Lovich –  What a message to be put on a vocal track if there ever was one with a punching beat, guitar riffs that are danceable and infectious Nina’s and Lene’s vocal ranges complement each other in this progressive song about animal welfare, experimentation and animals rights the context is simple, straight forward and hard hitting as is it’s message, how it is sung and how it is played.

Nina 2CONCLUSION

A one off in her own right (on how you look at it) indirectly and/or directly  paved a way for alternative music to be accessible to the public, with unique musical arrangements, depthful lyrics, integrity and humility she never got consumed by ego or greed but stayed true to herself and that is something she still lives by today – check her music out. :-)

Paul Isaacs 2015

Zarah – (German Version)


Leave a comment

Hemiplegia & Autism

                                                                                                                                                                                                        10338674_881821881831690_7870309102355592004_o

RIGHT SIDE – (LEFT HEMISPHERE INJURY)                                           

HEMIPLEGIA DEFINITION 

Hemiplegia is caused by damage to the brain. The damage can occur before or during birth, which is called congenital hemiplegia. No one knows what causes the damage in these cases.

Hemiplegia can also be acquired. This is caused by damage to the brain, such as a stroke, in childhood.

Sometimes the condition will only become clear as the baby gets older, such as having trouble walking.

An injury to the right side of the brain will cause the left side of the body to be paralysed. An injury to the left side of the brain will cause the right side of the body to be paralysed.

The condition can affect any child, but it is slightly more common in premature babies. It is quite a common condition, affecting one in 1000 births.

LEFT HEMISPHERE BRAIN INJURY & RIGHT SIDE DISCONNECT

A Personal Account

As you can see from the picture above there are visible signs of hemplegia (due to difficult birthing, placental abruption and “silent” stroke within the womb) such as – notice how the mouth is lop-sided and has a stretched appearance as a smile (the side the that is “blind” is not matching) also the eyebrows are not matching either. As a child my Mum thought I was deaf and blind due to sensory perceptual and language processing issues the left side of brain is where language comes from (receptive and expressive) so I have an aphasia as well as visual perceptual disorders, motor cordination, under-processing on my blind side both visual (Homonymous hemianopsia) and motor perception (Hemispatial neglect).

WHAT HELPED?

  • Walking
  • Swimming
  • Bicycling
  • Rough & Tumble Play (as a child)
  • Painting
  • Drawing (sketches, doodles, drawing by route)
  • Practical Living Skills (cooking, cleaning etc)
  • Tinted Lenses

Paul Isaacs 2015


Leave a comment

Ending Racism – The Illogical Perception That Hating Others Is “Right” It Isn’t

Why?

I often wondering why some would hate someone for such reasons? – How someone gets to the point of were they hate someone so much that they feel the immoral validation to take peoples lives just to “prove a point” or to “send a message” this sort of mentality not only needs to be challenged but also be challenged to  why someone would have such a perception in the first place. It is simply wrong.

Hate Does Nothing

Hate has never caused any solutions nor solved any problems but by ending hate that will have many positive outcomes for all people, equalism, opportunities, positive validation (being listen too and acknowledged as person) and communities coming together. :-)

STAYWOKE – Together, we will END racism and police violence in America. Get involved. #StayWoke

Paul Isaacs 2015


Leave a comment

Autism & What About Humanity? And Connectivity?

Family Christmas Early 90s

Dad, Gramp & Me Just “Being”

Autism it just “is” when I go out in the world the biggest thing for me is to be apart of humanity, people, beings – so when I go down the street what do you “see” and what do.

I “see” – “Autism” is a name for a clustering of pre-existing conditions which I have which for me are (PERCEPTUAL, LANGUAGE EXPRESSION, AUDITORY, LANGUAGE RECEPTION, BRAIN INJURY, MOVEMENT, COGNITION) this is PERSONAL to me but they affect how I process things/understand things – they do not define my TOTALITY nor are they “ME” I am artistic, idiosyncratic, emotive, emotional, creative, solitary, serious, funny, silly etc those things are what is called shared things with other people (regardless of any disability or not).

Autism is something I am neither proud or nor ashamed of it just “is” I was born a person so I would rather people see me as a person (as everyone else should be) not to be swept up by stereotypes, or militancy or “them” and “us” perceptions, but be seen as person. I am not a an “object” to be observed nor am I a “genius” to be revered – so if we look at being balanced about things then we open up more doors then close them. I am no “better” nor “worse”. We (as human beings) are all equal. 

Paul Isaacs 2015


Leave a comment

Being Brain Damaged – Is Apart of my Autism Profile – A Word That Just “is”

Baby Fisted Hands

Baby picture – note fisted/clasped hands and pointed toes signs of brain injury

Note – This is from a personal perspective of how autism affects me and my profile

Brain Damage/Injury

Brain Damaged and/or brain injury is apart of the reason why I have autism and certain “pieces” of it would not have been there but this is due to circumstance and environment the difficult birth, the placental abruption and oxygen deprivation that caused and stoke, left-right disorientation, visual perceptual disorders, language processing disorder (aphasia) and issues with internalising and externalising language and other developmental aspects.

A Human-Being – Everyone is Equal 

I have no problem with seeing this a part of the issues I face nor do I have an issue with the terminology being used in the this world today words sometimes to have to be used as marker and my case this is maker of a clustering of symptoms that I have as a result of brain injury – as I have stated in the title it just “is” and I am fine with this it doesn’t make me feel any more nor any less. I am “Paul” first (and to be honest always will be) everything else pales in the background of significance.

I have been dealt a set cards and I am going to use them to the best of my abilities. I am not a super-human, I am not the next generation of humanity, nor a super-being, I am not technical, logical or literal or “intellectual”. I am afraid I am just a person.

Autism is Person Centred – It isn’t the Complete Definition of the the Person

I would however I say that I am creative (like art, poetry, wordplay, soundplay, textures, patterns, colours and fashion) and idiosyncratic (I play to the own beat) , mercurial (I listen to my emotions) and solitary (I like moments of my own company)   – all the other things are redundant to me in the bigger picture they apart  of me they aren’t me. I am just a person living life and that is really all. People can play with words all they want but sometimes it is better to get real if not for your sake then for others.

Paul Isaacs 2015


Leave a comment

“Autism” – It Is Different For Everybody

“Autism” what is it?

Fruit Salad Analogy Copyright D.Williams

Fruit Salad Analogy Copyright D.Williams

Autism is word for a clustering of different co-conditions that come together to create the “presentation” and therefore when one uses the word “Autism” it should be specific it what that means for the person themselves and what the “mechanics” are no one is the same so why should one condition mean that everybody has the same viewpoints? Profiles? Processing issues? and outlook – realities and perceptions.

Stereotypes – Are They Damaging?

If a “one size fits all” perception of autism then yes – it will affect outlooks, mental health, interventions, motivations, opinions (created and/or forced) not all people on the autism spectrum are logical, literal thinkers/processors, not all are visual thinkers/processors and everyone on the spectrum has their own unique wants, needs and aspirations it not about setting someone up for a fall or failing to recognise a person because they don’t “fit in”.

Lines Culture or Created Culture?

Anybody can create a culture it can start off with an ideal and/or ethos that then becomes reality – I don’t believe that autism is a different culture and never have done. What I do see is a culture being created around autism. Which is a different thing altogether.I am all  and firmly for equality, humanity, humility and happiness. And for people on the spectrum (like everyone else in the world) to have an equal shot at life and have opportunities.

What I am not for is false prophets, venomous politics,  militancy (from culturists and curists) – I prefer to be neutral and through that you can see both sides in balances democratic manner, selfishness and so forth all voices have a right to heard, acknowledged and recognised – disagreement is fine but at what point does one go too far? I have made this point in previous blogs that I think that the autism world will eventually implode on itself and how many people on and off the spectrum suffer as result? Just because they didn’t “tow the line” or “say the right things” Will it be just the same sycophancy? Or will all (people on and off the spectrum’s) view’s be heard? I wonder? Let’s stop the man-made barriers and start listening to ALL peoples views.

I am not angry but I am upset – not really for me but for the others who will be affected.

Paul Isaacs 2015

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 3,330 other followers