What Is It To Be Truly Balanced? An Internal Process That Will Change Future Relationships, Core Beliefs & Attachment

Note- This A Personal Perspective & Observations

It’s interesting to me I have been thinking today about what makes “true happiness” or being content? Being loved? Love starts and ends with you, self love in terms of not looking for others to fix you and indeed be fixed. If one is there connected self then us no need for you to find anything as it all resides within you. Regardless of your surroundings – family, friends, children etc.Then once those seeds have been sown you can be fruitful friendships, relationships that are connected you know and feel their energy.

Some people aren’t ready to know that their conscious and unconscious minds, perceptions, core beliefs can have a deep reaction to unresolved trauma (this is about introspection, objection and taking ownership and responsibility) they may get angry, upset, dismissive, dissociative, become impulsive or go back to threads of thinking that confirm otherwise – this is a defence, I choose not to take it personally.

AUT-Tisitc Personality Disorders

• Someone who is Schizoid may become inverted and detached
• Someone who is Obsessive-Compulsive may want order, structure and control
• Someone whom is Schizotypal may become more inverted and paranoid

Self based Personality Disorders

• Someone who is who is Borderline may have bouts of emotional dysregulation due to feelings of emptiness
• Someone who is Dependent may yearn and be submissive/or monopolise to their caregiver
• Someone who is Passive-Aggressive may be angered by their and feel the world is against them
• Someone who is Narcissistic may want revenge and delude themselves with grandiose thoughts

In the end these people need and open-minded and autonomous person whom can give them the space to work through there own challenges.

Understanding “Self” May Not Easy – The Road To Balance

You do not and cannot be in people’s shoes all the time, you may give them tools, balanced advice or nothing at all. However true connection you can ask for them to experience whoever they are – wish them peace and clarity.Here are mine – I know their origins and through that you work with the systems through rationalisation.

• I would dissociate from interpretive language due to being profoundly meaning deaf during infancy
• Body dysmorphia with regards due to circumcision and not processing operation and inappropriate incident in with children in my early infancy. This has extended to other parts of my body.
• I have an ongoing binge eating disorder due to gratification of over eating (being encouraged, validation and “normalised”) and this is in relation to emotional dysregulation and impulse control in mid late infancy.
• For many years I had emetophobia (fear of vomiting) which started when I vomited on the house carpet in house after having orange juice in infancy. It was resolved in my late teens.
• I have at times a subconscious reaction to certain words/phraseology – this is now largely resolved as was due to a isolated incident with a teacher at Primary School.
• I have had Shy Bowel and Bladder Syndrome due to having the toilet door kicked in when I was infant at school in mid infancy.
• I pick my hair which is related to impulse control (dermatillomania) because it was a relaxing/comforting experience when my Mum picked scabs from my hair when I had chicken pox in mid late infancy.

Knowing the origins of different aspects of oneself can be a road that may be filled with fear and uncertainty but it could well be a release from the shackles of the past.

Paul Isaacs 2021

What is Communication & Interaction? Should We Look Deeper?

All people have different ways of interacting with people based on many different factors. This is from a personal perspective.

Personality Types, Conversation & Self

For example I am idiosyncratic so I have deep, introspective emotive conversations with people as a preference, I am solitary by nature so I feel comfortable with my own self, I struggle with praise and prefer sometimes more balanced and objective, real observations of things, I am mercurial so I can flit between different cultures, friendships but I am mindful about the challenges of borderline – lack of self identity, sloppy boundaries and emotional dysregulation (which has a 60 percent crossover with autism), I am self-sacrificing so I am willing to aid, support and help others in need but must be care not to present myself as a doormat, I am serious and can be intense and conversations and prone to depressive episodes.

Ego-syntonic Nature of Co-conditions & Complex Information Processing

OCD drove my to be solitary out of the shackles of the conditions, Exposure Anxiety caged me from the want to connect, dissociation was both and ally and enemy when I was severely meaning deaf/blind and being context blind at least allowed me to appreciate (and partly retain) the system of sensing being etc.

Information processing stuff such as faceblindness, simultagnosia mean I struggle with a shared sense of social, language processing disorder means I can go “deaf” to meaning however just KNOWing this information gives me something to work upon.

A lot of Contrast & Subjective Natures?

I think the situations you talk about are mixture of culture, environment, expectations (social, intercultural, gender, context) and how one’s brains are able to keep up (regardless if they are on the spectrum or not), personality types/clashes of ideals, perceptions, rules, outlooks.

Conclusion

It’s a melting pot that people look yourself accordingly – in the end it is what works best for you.

Paul Isaacs 2021

Autism Bucks Workshop – Coping With Death & Loss

This is the fifth workshop presentation is about autism and coping with death and loss.

Further Information & Reading

Autism, Emotions, Attachment and Borderline Personality Disorder

Language Of Death

Paul Isaacs 2021

The Toxicity Of The Autism Community

Narcissistic Projection, Adornment Narratives & Superficial Behaviour

We are all up for judgement my advice to anyone whom makes assumptions come to the person first rather than creating a reality in your in mind in which you believe to be real. In certain facebook autism groups have become contrived, toxic, self-serving and unhealthy to be around.

Ownership and Respect

This goes beyond the remit of healthy disagreement or a basic acknowledgement of someone’s realities. If assumptions and projected realities which I do not stand for nor the lack ownership for one’s words or how they looked.

Faux Inclusivity & Confirmation Bias

If people wonder why the autism community is so broken, then maybe we should start taking a look at the conduct that militant advocates are taking in guise of help, empowerment and inclusivity?

True Inclusivity – It’s More About Others Than You

Is it inclusive to ignore people with dietary disabilities, gut, immune and metabolic disorders?

Is it inclusive to ignore fundamental basics neurology and/or biology?

Is it inclusive to see autism as everything about a person? Despite the three dimensional aspect of all human beings?

Is it inclusive to ignore people whom are functionally non-verbal?

Is it inclusive to use “neurotypical” (I prefer non-autistic) as a slur, put down or form of othering? Creating more division?

Is it inclusive to disregard one reality of autism because it doesn’t fit the status quo?

Is it inclusive to project and force a narrative onto someone without giving them the time or space to make up their own minds?

Is it inclusive to gossip, flame, swear and demonise people purely because they have a different reality to your narrative?

Is it inclusive to divide parents and children?

Is it inclusive that militant cultural and curist rhetoric (yes they have much more in common than not) gets more attention, air time and superficial interest than actually making a fundamental difference to people’s lives?

Be The Change You Want To See

I ask you is that healthy? Balanced? Overall what standards are we looking for? We as human beings should be the change and set examples not become bitter and ego driven.

Self Respect, Self Acknowledgment

Some people just take this playground mentality around with them. Sort your own stuff out first before you expect any meaningful change from anyone. I know my own self well enough to what happen was wrong regardless and I have at least have some self respect to know I am not deserving of it.

So politics are creating more fertile ground for these self serving agendas then with all due respect I want no part of it.

Paul Isaacs 2021

NAS Lambeth/A2ndVoice Workshop – Autism & COVID

This workshop is about Autism & COVID. Hosted by Venessa Bobb.

Further Reading

Autism, Information Processing & Coronavirus

Paul Isaacs 2021

Autism Bucks Workshop – Autism & Exposure Anxiety

This is the fourth workshop presentation is about autism and Exposure Anxiety – this overlaps with ODD, PDA, Reactive Attachment Disorder and Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder

Further Information & Reading

Autism & Exposure Anxiety Video By Donna Williams

Autism & Exposure Anxiety Blogs By Paul Isaacs

Paul Isaacs 2021

NAS Lambeth/A2ndVoice Workshop – Autism & Education From A Personal Perspective

This workshop is about Autism & Education. Hosted by Venessa Bobb.

Further Information & Reading

Donna Williams Autism Hangout Video

Donna Williams The Fruit Salad Approach

Paul Isaacs 2021

Profound Autism? Or More Complex Autism “Fruit Salads”?

Different Fruits Salads? Different Realities?

Some people have more complex autism “fruit salads“ which means the ideas around need certainly to addressed. Terminology does become polarising and inclusivity means looking at all realities, including one’s which challenge people.

Difference In Information Challenges?

Complex autism “fruit salads” may have these pieces. There are significant differences in Asperger’s and autism “fruit salads”. To say they are the same is misdirected.

Profound “autism fruit salads” could look like as follows-

Language processing disorders (aphasia/verbal agnosias).
Visual Perceptual disorders (face, meaning or object blindness).
Oral or full body apraxia and other communication challenges.
Body disconnection/body blindness (body agnosias) making one prone to self harm.
Underlying gut, metabolic or auto-immune challenges to information processing.
Acute levels of Exposure Anxiety.
Secondary Mood, Anxiety and Compulsive disorders that may have been present infancy.
Are still living in the System of Sensing.
Overall higher levels of visual-verbal information processing challenges.

Conclusions

Identity?

This means that you understand the pieces, produce competence and intelligence and never over invest in these challenges being “them”.

Politics?

Advocacy should always be a balanced, inclusive narrative. I see it as a professional responsibility not to feed the masses fables, buzz words or rhetoric.

Being Authentic & Objective?

It’s about being real and if that makes people uncomfortable then one must reason our why and come to a place of peace.

Paul Isaacs 2021

NAS Lambeth/A2ndVoice Workshop – Autism & Language Processing Disorders Workshop

This workshop is about language processing disorders in the context of autism. Hosted by Venessa Bobb.

Further Information & Reading

Autism and Language A Journey To Functional Speech – Donna Williams

Wretches & Jabberers DVD Trailer

Paul Isaacs 2021

The Problems With “Autistic Identity”& Stereotyped Perceptions

“Neurotypical” A Word Misused & Inaccurate?

There is no such thing as “neurotypical” in terms of a collective definition of people, viewpoints or principles.

It’s a word I never use as it seems to adorned a slur like status in projection. Bigotry is as such is not only based on stereotypes but I feel hinders more balanced narratives and objective dialogues and information sharing.

We Live In A Human World First Identities Come Second

This isn’t a “neurotypical” world either it is world full of different and sometimes conflicting ideas, notions and perceptions of “other” which then lead in extreme cases to towards conflicts in bias.

Autism Militant Projection & Distorted Narratives

Militant narratives burns more bridges than it claims to build, by having a narrow lense of how someone who isn’t on the autism spectrum acts, thinks, feels etc.

How does this build a platform for idea sharing, life sharing and forming healthy agreement and disagreement?

Non- Autistic Realities & Autistic Realities – All Human Beings Are Walking “Fruit Salads“

There are different forms of non-autistic realities and some parts of those realities may be relatable to an “AUT-istic” experience such someone whom has faceblindness, object blindness or language processing disorder. In other words there are multi- faceted realities of being “non-autistic“.

For the AUT-ism is not a collective reality either, not everything is sensory, not everything is language processing, not everything is dyspraxia etc.

For these are potential facets of an AUT-istic experience but are separate and identifiable pieces in their own right, that can exist on their own terms and have different presentations.

The Problem With Identity- First Narrative

That is why Identity-First language is misleading because what “parts” one is choosing to relate may not be the “autism” (in their “fruit salads) anyway.

Paul 2020