Paul Isaacs' Blog

Autism from the inside


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White Privilege Is Alive & Well & Needs To Stop

 IStop Ignoring It

White privilege is alive and well and I tell you is that right? Is that correct? No it dam sure isn’t it So what is to be done about it – If you judge and act upon someone based on their skin the largest organ that covers their body, if that organ/skin colour leads to social exclusion, educational exclusion, presumption of intelligence, employment exclusion, name-calling, bullying, hitting, assault, murder  and social profiling then what is to be done? Why is this still happening?

History Lead To The Present 

History is a good indicator of the atrocities that have been and yet here we are in 2016 with the same problem, the same prejudices, the same preconceptions, the same dogma.

Think About It

Everyone should be aware that this still exists with regards to these  shootings, look real hard and tell yourself is there still a problem here? Or isn’t there? Communities and people have to face this problem head on realise that this is happening and striving to become more objective, nurturing and loving.

The Angry Eye – Jane Elliot Anti Racism Activist 

Paul Isaacs 2016

 


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Autism & Personality Disorders – A Personal Perspective

Compasition Photos17Note: this is from a personal perspective and doesn’t represent all people on autism spectrum

Personality Disorders & Autism

Yes they can co-occur and yes it does happen, personality disorders and autism these are types/trait which are “extreme” and “disordered” versions of “normal” personality type this can happen for variety of different reasons an environmental trigger, isolation and alienation, victimisation or genetic predisposition to having such extremes but is idiopathic in nature. (these can happen to ANYONE).

I Have “Been There”

I am a person who has “been there” in terms of personality disorders and it was during my early 2os, at this time I was being bullied at my workplace and into between hanging on there and leaving (which I did soon enough) it was a mixture of additional mental health conditions, unipolar depression, mood disorder (low mood dysthoria), self harming and suicidal ideation.

1. Schizotypal Personality Disorder

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (American Psychiatric Association, 1994, pg. 645) describes Schizotypal Personality Disorder as a pervasive pattern of social and interpersonal deficits marked by acute discomfort with, and reduced capacity for, close relationships as well as by cognitive or perceptual distortions and eccentricities of behavior, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

  • ideas of reference (excluding delusions of reference);
  • odd beliefs or magical thinking that influences behavior and is inconsistent with subcultural norms (e.g., superstitiousness, belief in clairvoyance, telepathy, or “sixth sense”; in children and adolescents, bizarre fantasies or preoccupations);
  • unusual perceptual experiences, including bodily illusions;
  • odd thinking and speech (e.g., vague, circumstantial, metaphorical, overelaborate, or stereotyped);
  • suspiciousness or paranoid ideation;
  • inappropriate or constricted affect;
  • behavior or appearance that is odd, eccentric, or peculiar;
  • lack of close friends or confidants other than first-degree relatives;
  • excessive social anxiety that does not diminish with familiarity and tends to be associated with paranoid fears rather than negative judgments about self.

2. Borderline Personality Disorder

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (American Psychiatric Association, 1994, pg. 654) describes Borderline Personality Disorder as a pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

  • frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment;
  • a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation;
  • identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self;
  • impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating);
  • recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior;
  • affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days);
  • chronic feelings of emptiness;
  • inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights);
  • transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

What Are YOUR Personality Types?

When you look at these two sets of personality disorders from a person perspective they at both ends of the spectrum with one being marked by non-conformity and the other a sub-conscious wanting  how did I get through this ? Firstly knowledge – understanding my autism “fruit salad” meant looking at the whole package and that included personality types of which I have 4 these two above in there “normal” variants are 1. idiosyncratic and 2. mercurial balanced and have bettered my functioning along with my tinted lenses for visual perceptual disorders for example.

It Can Be Apart Of The “Bigger Picture”

By picking these aspects of functioning I think is important when looking at an autism diagnosis could be that undiagnosed or unrecognised personality disorders could hinder functioning of a person but could be just be thought as “the autism”. For me dissociation, suicidal ideation, interpersonal issues (compacted by the pds), auditory hallucinations and psychosis were the tip of the iceberg not only in my “autism fruit” salad at the point but also the development of my identity and personality as a whole.

Trying Introspection

I have learnt over time to take control and autonomy of my emotions despite having problems with mentalising and alexithymia, I have learnt to not be too intense with people I like and if sense that I am back away and “turn the volume down”, I have learnt the importance of autonomy and not fearing aloneness chronically, I have learnt and accepted that dissociation and being “borderline” gives my problems with “self identity” along with other issues such as “self and other” processing, alexithymia, visual perception, I have learnt that being “odd” means that something is up and I need focus of getting grounded again. I have learnt that overall with all the interacting pieces I know of that balance is the place to be that is message of hope.

Last Question

I challenge politely people on autism spectrum who think that autism is “all of them” with so many interwoven personality types in human beings would it really make sense for autism to be “all of the person?” considering autism is made up of pre-existing conditions anyway? I wonder in the future will they diagnose or recognise personality types in people on the autism spectrum? I certainly think that would beneficial

Paul Isaacs 2016


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Pumpkinhead (1988) -Film Review

OVERVIEW

Stan Winston introduces to use to world of fantasy and intrigue in his directorial, with advent of folk tales of things that go literally bump in the night this fright-fest is a cleverly woven moralistic tale of the repercussions of revenge the the terrible price in which can paid.

PLOT

The plot is about revenge and how that can spurn a whole series of unfortunate events and how those events can cause desperation in a person anger, sadness, guilt and yearning for the “what if’s” . When the dust the settles and the deal has been made what price will your revenge be on others?

In sense that is what Pumpkinhead is about contemporary take old and a tale of old of sadness, revenge and retribution the main plot is spurned on in the first half and it goes from there and that is what makes this an enjoyable at times and sad movie so in a sense it is very much like two movies brought together, playing out like a  family drama in the first half and a fantasy tale in the  latter.

PICTURE & AUDIO

The movie is a worthy of the upgrade  from the recent DVD edition. The movie was viewed on a HD TV (1080p  24fps Blu-Ray by  Shout! Factory). The picture is crisp, clear and well balanced with its orange hues and saturated tones which are well balanced there is minimal specs of print dust. The audio is clear with deep bass and a detailed surround sound experience.

CONCLUSION

This is an underrated movie in many respects, with an excellent cast, moving plot with an new spin on the “folklore bogeyman” tale and an excellent rendition of a monster with superb special effects this is worthy of far more credit in the annuals of the horror genre. Highly recommended.


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Abuse, Identity & Not Being an “Object”

Paul and Dad 2005 2A Dark Secret 

I can remember flashbacks, the terror, the feeling of being small,  worthless, subjected and cold this happened not that long ago as the thousand yard stare raised its ugly head from the fold. The realisation that something happened to me in my past which was buried under years of dissociation and memory based fragmentation a memory of an event at the heart strung up by a mass of tangled spider’s webs it truly was the widow of the web at its heart, her dark secret and revelation

Face To Face With The Reality Of The Past

A sad realisation of one incident which was sexual abuse is not an easy task to talk about in any forum I was 16 years old when it happened, but if it can help one person then in many ways my job is done. I decided to deal with this one alone to me I needed no therapy or endless talks about the what’s and the why’s etc, I went to the source it is near to me so I took that step on to hallowed ground with memories ripe or which I could remember soundly. This was a cleansing  exercise and I was going to sweat this one out.

Looking Forward

Like some sort of scene in a movie I was there alone. I found the place I patterned it out and looked, simple just looked at the door that is all I needed to do I stood there for a few minutes nor more no less and made my peace with the past I had to because I knew if I didn’t this would eat me up inside.

Many A Road To “Rome”

Has this on a subconscious level had an effect on my personality? behaviour patterns, triggers and is apart of the package of my “fruit salad” I would say yes it has may I would have been a less vigilant person, a less closed person in some areas of my life. I have learnt that I will not let this mould me but I shall mould it and if that is the road to tranquillity I shall take it. I am no one’s victim.

I Am Person 

Some people may think because of the nature of the work I do that I am detached, not accustomed to feeling out control, feel sadness, anger, confusion or despair I have got news for you. I am a person – when you cut me I shall bleed.

I don’t mind disagreement, I don’t mind people coming into my life and out again (if they wish), I don’t mind people  deciding to not to be my my friend (they have their own path to lead), I don’t mind disagreement, I don’t mind anger or venom spilled in my direction, I don’t mind a lot of things believe it or not. Just as long as with me you know that any judgement is NOT made prior to knowing because that is when one fills up bullshit loaded with assumptions and preconceptions.

I wish you well in your ongoing journeys. I would rather pave a road full of positivism and compassion than a road full of gold and greed.:-)

Paul Isaacs 2016


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Blocking and Unfriending – The Psychological Fallout?

Social Media

The social phenomena of Facebook and Twitter has created it’s own tribulations of connecting with people in a variety of positive and meaningful ways something that is both brilliant and amazing, however the nature of unfriending and blocking has it’s own consequences to both parties suggested science daily although friendships can flow and move on in “real-life” the termination of a friendship on social media can have its own repercussions.

Different Reasons

This isn’t to say that either party is wrong nor right, sometimes these things are entirely justified  sometimes the person needs a break from social media, they have personal issues that need to be resolved, friendship/relationship/family issues and inappropriate behaviour from the other person. Different scenarios maybe more negative and deliberate such as cyber-bullying, social/psychological manipulation and gas-lighting for example. It is interesting the psychology behind it.

Personality & Dealing With Unfriending & Blocking 

I think it all depends on personality types in how you will react or not as the case may be looking at my personality types both mercurial and self-sacrificing are both both a blessing and a double-edged sword I look to help others but at times that can be to the detriment of own functioning, I like to know people are fine, content, happy but being mercurial I have to rain in the “volume” of these things and that is called responsibility for myself and how I behave around others. When people block or unfriend me I am more concerned about them than myself. 

Studies For The Future?

Environmental factors, personality clashes and miscommunication can arise for anyone on this social format I suppose it is what “buttons” we can deal with and what “triggers” them off. I would like to see a study in Ptypes and the social sites.

Paul Isaacs 2016


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Living With A Mother With No Boundaries -My Father’s Ongoing Journey

I have a lot of respect for my Father who has along with my Mother given my the stability, autonomy to be “myself”.

Nanny Janet Black and White

“Nanny” Janet in Ireland as an Infant

My Father was born in London in 1961 during that time his Mother had fled from Ireland and moved to the capital working in in pubs and living in small one bedroom holding in the old style basement houses. He had a traumatic existence with attachment disordered, borderline mother who had no sense of right nor wrong, instilled pitiful boundaries and was abusive to him from an early age working in pubs late at night and bringing lovers home and would have sex in front of him.

She would have parties also which were not monitored leaving my Dad to the whim of two female paedophiles at the age of three years old. They two women were on the bed asking him to do things to them what an horrific situation to be in.

My Dad was kidnapped by his Father and taken back to his house in which his partner said “don’t expect any fucking special treatment here”, he was recovered and later move to Oxford city were he resided on an council estate.

Nanny Janet Photo 7His Mother continued her existence of money and drink in either order and showed next to no parental love to my Dad from both an emotional stand point and also a sense of stability as he grew this became more apparent, no emotional support, not getting him the correct clothes, changing his surname without prior permission calling him, emotional manipulation, emotional blackmail, to other residents in the estate and so forth. She projected martyrdom to the outside world and would say do Dad on more than one occasion “Peter, I done my best”. Clearly this wasn’t true.  His absent Father’s last words time was a phone call in the early 90’s  saying “I didn’t  love you anyway.”  At the very least he was honest.

His Mother re married to a man who clearly had the same ethos as her and made it very clear to Dad that he didn’t like nor wanted him in the house.

Mum and Dad Early 80s

Mum & Dad Early 1980’s

My Dad’s life changed in the when he met my Mother in a club in the 1980’s I think that not only changed his outlook on life but also, it took many years of pain, discomfort and self-awareness for my Dad to become the man he is today, he freely admits he has made many a mistake and has a positive attitude towards life  despite having a horrific upbringing with no love, care or sense of commitment.

Both my parents have giving me the gift of having a stable upbringing in the family home, giving me good foundations of boundaries, friendship, failure as normal and trying I am thankful for that and even more so knowing the history.

Paul Isaacs 2016

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