Paul Isaacs' Blog

Autism from the inside

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The Cognitive Aspects of Autism

Note This Is From a Personal Perspective

Image result for Donna Williams autism

I used to think I was stupid and there are many things which are a struggle. It’s hard for me to tell a garlic crusher from a can opener. I sometimes can’t visually recognise my own husband. I lose the meaning of things I’m not physically using so cooking and running water can be a problem. There is often no left or right in my world and up and down sometimes tumble too. I use objects to track my thought externally or have to type it out to experience it after it hits the screen. I often can’t tell if I like something, whether I’m hungry or whether I had a good day. But I can do so many things that people really struggle to understand how extremely uneven abilities can occur in the one person. But in fact, that is the cognitive definition of autism.

Donna Williams 2009

Cognition vs. Expression

I don’t know on a conscious level what I am always doing, thinking or feeling which means in responses that on the surface seem very “limited” or “surface” an action creates a response but not always a “connected” one.

I can however type long reams of introspective and emotional material on a unconscious level which seems paradoxically detached from what I can say verbally at times. My inner world is far more richer than at times what I can get out verbally. This lends to personality types which are more attunded to empathy I show this through art and poetry.

“Sensing” vs. Intellectual Procesing

I can see that this is to do with the residual aspects of being meaing deaf, context and meaning blind, information processing delays and langauge processing issues. I have found over the years “pathways” of extraction such as art and poetic writings. I “be” and the puzzle seems to all come together with an “unknown knonwingness” that I cannot do when I am in a more concious state as contrdicatry as it sounds one gets less out of me.

Paul Isaacs 2018



I Don’t Mind Being Solitary – Looking Beyond The Stereotypes

Me Early 20s Christmas Hat

Main Interests of the Solitary Personality Type

  1. finding solitude; being alone
  2. remaining independent; maintaining autonomy; being self-contained
  3. being dispassionate
  4. being indifferent to pleasure and pain
  5. remaining sexually composed; avoiding attachment to anyone
  6. being uninfluenced by praise or criticism


Characteristic Traits and Behaviors

Dr. John M. Oldham has defined the Solitary personality style. The following six characteristic traits and behaviors are listed in his The New Personality Self-Portrait.

  1. Solitude. Individuals with the Solitary personality style have small need of companionship and are most comfortable alone.
  2. Independence. They are self-contained and do not require interaction with others in order to enjoy their experiences or to get on in life.
  3. Sangfroid. Solitary men and women are even-tempered, calm, dispassionate, unsentimental, and unflappable.
  4. Stoicism. They display an apparent indifference to pain and pleasure.
  5. Sexual composure. They are not driven by sexual needs. They enjoy sex but will not suffer in its absence.
  6. Feet on the ground. They are unswayed by either praise or criticism and can confidently come to terms with their own behavior.

“Autism” Is Not A Personality Type

People often think that “autism” has a “look” it doesn’t and never has when people think of autism they may think and/or mentalise certain people they have come across, members of the family, people in movies and/or films etc.

Solitary By What Factors?

Being solitary can fall into differing camps some people can be solitary by circumstances that are out of their control such as the loss of parents and/or guardians, having a small family and other circumstances others may have the complete opposite but their values and environmental factor and/or influences. Some can be both.

I fall into the the category of of circumstance/ environment genetic my family is small, I have sister who I have only met three times when I was in my late teens, I still have my parents and my Nan on my mother’s side. I have never had a partner and would consider myself asexual.

I Value Life

What has this given me time to do? I say that because people are probably going to focus on the the things I have missed or not been apart of? I understand why such comment or feelings would be made. I do not feel I have missed out on anything nor do I feel I have been given a ticket that has not taken me to all the places in the amusement park.

Observing, Friendships & Interests

I love life and being observer of people, the goings on, their life stories and so forth I feel connected to them. I have friends that are real friends because they are people who connect with rather than people that I feel I should be connecting with (there is a massive difference). I like going for long walks on my own, drawing, creating poetry/creative writings, watching movies and listening to music. I like sharing these things as well as “being”. This of course is peppered by being Idiosyncratic, Mercurial & Self Sacrificing.


I feel this have made me as I have matured more objective before you go out into the “world” you have be your own best friend first regardless of your wants and needs in life.

Paul Isaacs 2018

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The Joy Of Happiness


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Happiness is the value not of the behind nor forward but of those little things between that move in a constant.

Cherished things are found there which no worldly goods to buy, they have no thought, no intellectualism and sometimes no words but the feeling is very much at the forefront. A likeable wistful motion that is captured in the roaming snapshot of time.

A valued place that can have a thousand wordless words, a million bountiful experiences. Is wrong to like the shimmer on a rain dropped petal? A sparkle in the water, a popping colour amongst  muteness and a cheery sounding bird calling out to its friends.

Maybe if human beings talked more the moment we wouldn’t be drenched the atrocities of the past and uncertainties of the future. I loving world is not much to ask and it’s above all free.

Paul Isaacs 2018

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What Is “Life”?

Peering through life I often wonder about it “what is it all about?” this may seem like a hopeless and uncomfortable question to ponder. We are not here for eternity, however memories and echoes of the past wonder and echo around us.

Things happen that change our perspective on life as an ongoing experience. People go on seemingly timeless changes in identity, health (mental or otherwise), perceptions, directions, fortunes (philosophical or otherwise too) maybe that is it in that is changeable, not tiresome, fluid, not stagnant, fruitful and not grey.

Balance is such a currency that one cannot buy but learn either through example or trial and error and that has been the most valuable to me.

Paul Isaacs 2018

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The Problem with Somatisation Disorder

Image result for Somatization disorder

Note this is from a personal perspective

Certain personality types (such as mercurial/borderline) are more akin to having somatisation type disorders in which person feels they are becoming increasingly ill and/or have serious and multiple symptoms that indicated a serious illness and/disease.

“The main features are multiple, recurrent and frequently changing physical symptoms of at least two years duration. Most patients have a long and complicated history of contact with both primary and specialist medical care services, during which many negative investigations or fruitless exploratory operations may have been carried out. Symptoms may be referred to any part or system of the body. The course of the disorder is chronic and fluctuating, and is often associated with disruption of social, interpersonal, and family behaviour.”

Awareness of Emotional States and Somatic Pain

The persistence is the pain and the feeling that invokes, having alexithymia means that I have problems identifying what my inner states are leading to often painful and chronic psychosomatic symptoms which in my life time have included as follows

  • Nausea
  • Tension Headaches
  • Toothaches
  • Jaw aches
  • Lower back Pain
  • Arm and Shoulder Pain
  • Pins and Needles in Legs and Feet

The recent bout is having a pulsating tinnitus in my left ear which is anxiety/stress related and is not due cardiovascular disorder and or stroke related symptoms but never the less is persistent at the moment. Age and awareness in my case have helped with these areas of anxiety and “getting on with it” as means to move on and look towards the psychological/developmental aspects they have on me in terms and working from there.

Paul Isaacs 2018



My Work Ethos & The Person Behind It

I have never really written about what my job entailsits ethos, perspective and outlook on my page so I think its important to do so. I got a lot of my perspective from being diagnosed in 2010 with autism at the age of 24. I didn’t know what autism was let alone what it meant for me. When I came out of the practitioners room, went down the hallway and outside into the fresh afternoon air, my parents were both present and my Mum said you are still “Paul” . This would be one on of many linchpins that built up my perspective.

A year previously I went to see the late Donna Williams at a venue in Oxfordshire and she gave a dynamic speech on autism containing information which up to that point I had never heard of and a year later we connected on Facebook. It started off from there asking questions about differing elements, pieces and sage advice mixed with wit, humour and her drive to always see people regardless of what label is put upon them as people. I want to share her knowledge, wisdom and perspective of autism to larger audiencesnot only to get to the know the person behind the creation of the autism “fruit salad” but to carry on her work to EMPOWER people.

My ethos is looking at autism as autisms as an adjective, an experience, a describer not a definer, I look at autisms as a clustering of differing conditions and syndromes based in neurology and biology, I look at mental health issues such as mood, anxiety and compulsive disorders, I look at personality types and their disordered extremes, I look at identity in gender and sexuality, I look at the psycho-social environment and their impact rightly or wrongly, I look at learning styles. In other words the ethos is based in looking at the “word autism” and taking a three dimensional approach rather than stereotypes, understanding the “labels” and not defining the person by them. We are in the end all born people.

Without Donna’s help I would not be here doing this so my eternal thank you will be to carry on her work and have a broader more collective view of what the word “autism” is.

Thank you

Paul Isaacs 2018

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What is Achievement?

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Do you judge achievement by the vastness of comparisons or by the person cantered nature of what has been achieved? I have not married nor have I the desired to have children. I ask how is my life welling up with fullness and ethereal walkings amongst the populous of humanity? Because I am comfortable in the roads, paths and darkly forests that tread beneath my feet. I think “achievement” is not what, if or how it’s the reason and honest virtues behind them that make them special and worthy.

Paul Isaacs 2017