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Autism from the inside


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Autism, Emotions, Attachment and Borderline Personality Disorder

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Borderline Personality Disorder can be a difficult condition to live you may struggle to be “in your own skin”, have issues with “identity” and purpose in life, with other people and may flip-flop between different aspects of what you perceive your identity to be. Your emotional input-output may well disruptive and hindered.

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) can cause a wide range of symptoms, which can be broadly grouped into four main areas.

The four areas are:

  • emotional instability – the psychological term for this is ‘affective dysregulation’
  • disturbed patterns of thinking or perception – ‘cognitive distortions’ or ‘perceptual distortions’
  • impulsive behaviour
  • intense but unstable relationships with others

Emotional Dysregulation 

These four main areas may well vary from person to person and emotional instability and modulation may make you vulnerable to teasing and bullying in your early years as the reactions may well be more extreme and unpredictable in nature, you may push people away without realising or cling on to friendships that aren’t there. This can lead to internal problems with modulating one’s own emotions.

Cognitive Distortions, Dissociation & Psychosis

Cognitive distortions can come in many forms and affect how you deal with in particular negative emotions you may “lock them away”, project them through self-harming, other aspects that can distort reasoning are episodes of psychosis and a breakdown of internal and external reality this may be accompanied by episodes of dissociation.

Impulsivity & Challenges In Friendships & Relationships 

The person may want these aspects of life but maintenance for both you and the person you are friends with could be hindered by the symptoms above the changing winds of emotions, a lack of grounded identity and purpose, disruptive and sometimes paranoid thinking and firm and often “black and white” sense of what relationships and friends “should and shouldn’t be”, fear and loss and may have issues with attachment with people around them.

Coming Out The Other End?

I have documented my mental health issues over the years which includes having Borderline Personality Disorder and how that interacts with  the overall package within my “autism” and this is how of have dealt with these negative and sometimes behaviours.

  • People have their own thoughts, feelings and identities and one must respect a person’s autonomy.
  • Grounded sense of “self” I am a whole person with the ability to change.
  • Emotions are human and therefore not “abnormal” and are part of the human existence and managing them is crucial for healthy relationships.
  • All friendships and relationships are unique in their creation some last a lifetime others don’t and one must accept this.
  • I can help and empower people but not overbear them or smother them.
  • Seeking balance has a positive impact in your overall life and existence.

 

Darth Vader shows the key features of BPD 

  • He fears loss of people he is closest too. The Death of his Mother and not having a Father figure
  • He has intense and unstable relationships with the people he loves. His love for Padme and his and Father-figure friend Obi-Wan
  • He suffers from emotional dysregulation and has feelings of intense fear, rage, sadness and sorrow.  “I Hate You!”,  “Where is Padme? Is she safe is she alright?” 
  • He displays impulsivity and cognitive distortions through manipulation of Chancellor Palpatine. “In your Anger you Killed her (Padme)”
  • He has problems with self identity switching from “Anakin” to “Vader”. 

 

I have documented that when dealing with autism you must look at the rounded view that personality types and thus personality disorders can be a part of the package and if this is the case maybe we should looking a little deeper into what that means when managing a person on the autism spectrum who is in emotional crisis and the services that can be provided in the future.

Paul Isaacs 2017


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The Importance of Recognising Personality Types In Autism

Note this is from a personal perspective

Personality types are just as relevant to in which a person behaviours and responds to the environment around them, this includes interaction, communication, lifestyle choices, interpersonal choices etc.

Personality Types A Mix & Match

We can break down these personality types into their basic forms. In example I will use three different personality variants (people can have to 4 to 6) however this will simplify the point in question.

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Personality Types Are Valid 

People on the autism spectrum will have personality types within their “autism fruit salad” like all other human beings people have overlapping personality types which can be fluid or concrete, complex or refined, narrow or lengthy which will be dictated by genetics and the environment they are in. They can also spill over into “disordered” extremes.

Is “Autism” All Of A Person? 

 I think that the main factor that gets missed in the overall ensemble when looking at ASD is personality traits/types. To define one’s whole neurology as one’s “self” ego-syntonic were as I see my neurology in terms of autism as part of “self” not the overall picture “ego-dystonic”.

This would surely help professionals, parents, guardians and people on the autism spectrum? To know that part of being a human is to do with the development of these aspects to?

“Autism” It Is Apart Of The Mix Not The Defining Factor 

To put in honestly that fact that I am face-blind isn’t “me” it is just how I processing faces, the fact that have simultagnosia as see in pieces isn’t “me” but is how I process visual information, the fact that I am aphasic and meaning deaf and struggle at times process the words being spoken to me isn’t “me” but is how I deal with receptive language they are part of the package, the fact that I struggle to do simultaneous “self and other” isn’t “me” but it means I need time to gauge and internalise information is again part of the package .

They come along for the ride and my personality types will dictate how I cope, manage and productively find an outcome for these different processing issues I have. If someone isn’t seen as person first then what are they?

Paul Isaacs 2017


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Autism -The Three Stages of Empowerment

Autism “Fruit Salads”(© Donna Williams 1995/2005/2014)

This is bottom to top analogy which implements all aspects of what could be in a person’s “autism fruit salad” to start off with the foundation is to understand the mechanics of what is within a person’s “autisms” (rather than autism). By looking at this we can separate it into these aspects.

  • Communication profile
  • Social-emotional profile
  • Emotional processing profile
  • Sensory Integration profile
  • Sensory Perceptual profile
  • Receptive Language profile
  • Expressive Language profile
  • Motor-coordination profile
  • Dietary profile
  • Auto-immune disorders profile
  • Learning styles profile
  • Personality types profile
  • Identity profile
  • Co-conditions profile

Interventions

These will be tailored to the specific needs of person’s profile/profiles looking holistically as well as professional for empowerment, guidance, social support, emotional support and/or any aspect of the person “autisms” that is within the mix. For example you could have someone who has exposure anxiety and dislikes direct confrontation and prefers an indirectly confrontational approach, is profoundly meaning deaf and aphasic. Think how you would build up that person’s profile and empower them?

An example

  • Gestural language
  • Aiding Mentalising by building up meaning and association
  • Being a follower not a leader or an expectant doer
  • Leave them wanting more and giving positive affirmations

Solutions

They will come in many forms as they marriage of each step relies on the one previous with regards to the “final step” this will be looking at what is working, aiding and empowering the person, their families, guardians etc. This could be put in an report or functional document for educational and professional services to have or it could be used as an information pack for friends and family the choice is yours.

Remember autism is not ONE THING it is a CLUSTERING of pre-existing conditions within one PERSON and that is the thing to realise that one person’s reality does not mean that is representational of all because that would mean a lot voices and realities would be left unheard it is time to change the landscape and starts with being open minded.

Paul Isaacs 2017


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Living Through The Haze: 2nd Edition

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When I wrote Living Through Haze in 2012 it was a journey of finding out why I ticked the way I did and what that meant to me it was year in the making and I thankful for it being published to help other son the spectrum and professionals.

I was also glad that I got a foreword by Dr. Michael Layton the psychiatrist who diagnosed me in 2010 with keen introspection he is in many ways the opening of the book a precursor to the journey.

Now in 2016 I feel I have gained a lot of new worldly experiences and wanted to update part of my book which I felt needed to be. With the kind help of Tracy Kilner who is on the autism spectrum she assisted in the editing process with multicaulis attention to grammar, punctuation and  sentence formation.

Image result for Dr, Manuel Casanova

The next was an Afterword by Dr. Manuel Casanova who reviewed the 1st Edition of my book  he clearly illustrates what can learned from a person’s experiences and how that can be a foundation for the future, he also in no holds barred fashion clearly demonstrates the emotional  and mental health difficulties that have happened due to circumstances difficulties during my life.

Image result for James Billett Irlen

The next person is James Billett he diagnosed me in 2012 with visual perceptual disorders and gives a formal introduction to the book using statistics and reflecting on what can be learned from the reading this book.

Other elements included additional chapters and the expansion of the “autism fruit salad” section of my book.

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The final person who I would like thank in the process of this book is Donna Williams (Polly Samuel) as you know I have written many blogs, articles and presentations in conjunction with her extensive work in the field of autism. I would not know anything about he mechanics of my autism with her kindly help during the early 2010s. I would not be able to speaker in such away about my autism or autism in general without help. I value her professional input, caring nature and friendship.

My family and friends have always been there during times of need and I value and cherish their company and being the rocks that they are.

LIVING THROUGH THE HAZE 2ND EDITION PAPERBACK 

LIVING THROUGH THE HAZE 2nd E-BOOK 

Paul Isaacs 2016


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Hope is Universal. It’s for everybody with Paul Isaacs #isharehope Episode 107

Chris+WilliamsMany thanks to Chris Williams for conducting the interview with me to following the I Share Hope project please click here.

Paul was branded as a “naughty child” at school. He was classically autistic in his early years and gained functional speech around the age of 7 or 8 years old. He went through mainstream school with no additional help or recognition of his autism. Consequently, he did not achieve his academic or his social potential and had very low self-esteem.

After a string of unsuccessful jobs, Paul’s mental health suffered. He was referred to mental health services and misdiagnosed with “Asperger traits with a complex personality”, which did not satisfy. Paul was diagnosed by an experienced psychiatrist, who diagnosed him with High Functioning Autism at 24 years old.

paul-isaacs-i-share-hopePaul wanted to promote autism awareness and help others on the autism spectrum, in the hope that others would not have to suffer as he had. He became a speaker for an autism organisation and has not looked back! Presenting speeches, training and conducting consultancy, Paul is now a freelance speaker, trainer and consultant who continues to raise the profile of autism at every opportunity. Having done much research, he is keen to explain the differences between Asperger’s Syndrome & Autism using Autism Consultant Donna William’s (Polly Samuel’s) ‘Fruit Salad’ model.

Paul firmly believes in retaining the ASD acronym. He says there should not be a negative stigma around the word ‘disorder’. His message is that Autism is a complex mix of ability and disability and every person with autism (and all people) should be a valued member of society.

Paul in his spare time likes to meetup with friends, create art and write poetry which is both a creative and relaxing output for him.

Hope is Universal. It’s for everybody with Paul Isaacs #isharehope Episode 107

Summary: Paul’s answer to the five questions! Listen to the full conversation on the player above; also available on iTunes, Stitcher and Soundcloud.

Question 1: How do you define hope or what is your favorite quote about hope?

Paul Isaacs:

Hope to me is…you got a feeling then create that into action and then hopefully you can make way for the action. Hope is the building blocks of something that you want to change and it could be anything where you actually instill positivity or at least objectivity in someone and go from there. It’s giving someone a realistic framework.

Question 2: Who has shared the most hope with you?

Paul Isaacs:

I would say it’s my parents because they gave me positive foundations, they have given me a sense of real life, introduced me to real life. Not candy-coating it, not giving it any sort of gloss. This is real life. They make me feel that negativity is a normal part of life, failure is a normal part of life, losing is a normal part of life – it’s a part of life. Success is brilliant, but it’s also about learning from failure and understanding your weaknesses.

Question 3: How have you used hope to make it through a difficult time in your life?

Paul Isaacs:

The one thing that was difficult for me as a person looking in hindsight or in retrospect is the way in which the community didn’t understand my behavior or understood where those behaviors were coming from. One of the sad things for me was how my parents were treated. Within the community, a lot of assumptions were made about their parenting skills. I suppose at that point, that would probably be the time where my parents would have wanted someone to talk to about the difficulties. I would say, looking back in hindsight, it was so much to do with me, but it was more to do with the alienation for misunderstanding. I just think it was a lot of misinformation and misunderstanding that caused the initial alienation.

It was constant criticism which then of course hurts the parents and when I went for education, it was never really anything positive. Of course it’s understandable because I was in a mainstream school – this is a non-specialized environment. Again, I’m not bitter at the teachers. Actually, my first year of primary school, that’s five years old and one of the teachers said “I don’t know what to do with him.” She was completely lost, but of course she’d be completely lost. It’s almost if you hear that saying “victim of circumstance”, they weren’t necessarily bad people. It was just a circumstance that happened and then it rolled on from there really.

Question 4: How are you sharing hope today?

Paul Isaacs:

I have only been doing this job for about six years in terms of speeches and consultancy and I have never ever seen a community with absolutely really nasty politics, militancy, bullying. I mean I’ve seen it on social media. I mean someone doesn’t say it’s the status quo, being ganged upon, trolling. I’ve never seen anything like it. Another thing that concerns me is the glamorization. You shouldn’t glamorize anything. Glamorization is not objective. If one size fits all condition so you start saying all autistic people are this and that and the other, what you’re doing is sadly creating a set of stereotypes and in any other context, would stereotypes be acceptable? No.

So, what I’ve learned is don’t get sucked in by it, do what’s in your heart, don’t define yourself or autism that it’s a superpower, that you’re special. The thing that has kept me grounded – I was born a human being like you and like anyone else. I was born a human being so I don’t overinvest in my autism at all. When I go to work, I’m a human being, when I go out there, I’m a human being. I don’t glamorize and I equally don’t demonize the issues. You keep objective. What don’t you hear about in autism? There are people with autoimmune conditions, metabolic disorders, tissue connectivity disorders, and neuropathy, things that affect the body and have an effect on that person’s functioning. In other words, autism is an adjective – it’s not a definition. It’s a stacking of preexisting conditions and depending on the stacking – you can get a more refined stacking, you can get a more complex stacking, you can get a more intermediate stacking.

When I speak, I don’t want you to remember me. I don’t want the ego to take over. I just want people to remember what I said.

Question 5: How should I (the listener) begin to grow in hope or share hope today?

Paul Isaacs:

(1) Get to know people.
(2) Say hello – connect with people.

Listen to the interview with Chris Williams and I on Soundcloud 


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You “Neurotypical” – When Reverse Prejudice Is Justified – Houston We Have A Problem!

Reboot Season 114WHAT “NT” MEANS

The word is well a term for people “off the autism spectrum” but when it is used in a such way to discriminate against a collective of people in which “other” is deemed as wrong, offensive, unaware, lacking, not knowing, stupid and ignorant it doesn’t matter how you package this one it is still wrong to be prejudice it is still wrong to project views that are bigoted and hiding behind a “good cause” doesn’t wash with me.

At the end of my lecture I asked ‘did you enjoy the talk’.

The leader of their group replied in a tone lacking in warmth, ‘it would have been better without any NTs present’. The others chimed in in support of him. Alienated, I left them to it.

Later when they were buddying up with more of the same separatist rhetoric and there was a tone to it that sat uncomfortably with me, a tone I’d heard before, in hierarchical non-autie children in playgrounds once upon a time (where I’d also known nice ones).

I had to let this group know that I simply don’t do bigotry… that my non-autie friends are not typical, mundane, boring or expendable and that I refuse to use any derogatory term that hints they are such, such as ‘NT’.

As you can imagine, they were quite taken aback. I was meant to ‘understand’. I was meant to be ‘one of them’. But if ‘one of them’ meant I was meant to hang out in a group and dislike or disrespect another group, and share this as ‘belonging’ and ‘shared culture’ and ‘shared understanding’ then this wasn’t ‘me’. Donna Williams (Polly Samuel)  

PREJUDICE IS PREJUDICE REGARDLESS OF THE WORDS USED

I will like to let people be aware that anybody who has used this term to the effect stated in this example – have you ever been called names? Names that hurt? Names that make you feel like shit? Names that question your own being? Names that make you feel small or inferior? If you have then surely you must understand that any form of separatism is wrong and that if “you neurotiypical” was used  in any other context such as race, gender or sexuality it would rightfully be deemed offensive.

“NT” & “AUTISM THEY ARE ADJECTIVES

“NT” is word a never use now because of what it has connotations with but people are people and acceptance doesn’t come from pigeon holing collective realities as “NT” or “autistic”  how about seeing people as human beings in the world we live in now we are forgetting that fundamental fact I see people. Seeing people is cool. 🙂

Paul Isaacs 2016


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Sub-Clinical Autism & Having Pieces Of What Can Make Someone “Autistic”

SEEING “PIECES” IN OTHERS 

As odd as it may sound people can have “pieces” of what can someone on the autism spectrum. This year I want to an event in Cardiff and spoke towards the end of the speech I asked if people in the audience related so some of the issues around autism presented many put their hands up. These people weren’t on the autism spectrum but the could relate to the some of  “pieces” I had been describing.

DW Fruit Salad Model - most common

 

“SUB CLINICAL” ASPECTS & SPECIFIC ISSUES FOR THAT PERSON

This is because “autism” is made of pieces and these pieces differ from person to person that means that different “expressions” and “presentations” will be shown. So if people who are considered “sub-clinical” or as having “traits” what help is there for them?

The question I would say is what do you relate to? How does it present itself? What help is there for those people whose issues maybe considered not important but at the same time have a significant impact in certain areas of functioning.

With this increased awareness could mental health services and other professionals be able to help diagnose people with these issues?

MY AUTISM “FRUIT SALAD” 2016 

Paul Isaacs Autism Fruit Salad Part 1 2016Paul Isaacs Autism Fruit Salad Part 2 2016Paul Isaacs Autism Fruit Salad Part 3 2016Paul Isaacs Autism Fruit Salad Part 4 2016

WILL THE WORD AUTISM BE USED IN THE FUTURE? 

Each “piece” of my “autism” has its own reality and function some of them you may well be able to recognise others you may not.  By saying that “autism” is one thing  (and can then only be owned within that group) when people with acquired  brain injury, strokes, cerebral palsy, genetic syndromes can inter relate to these issues presented (and may well have or have not have autism in mix) it really begs the question will the term autism be used in the future?

I spoke to a neurologist some years ago who said in 20 to 30 years the word will not be used and instead the pieces of that person’s profile would be diagnosed instead this would certainly be progression for people with autism and also others who have “pieces” to.

Paul Isaacs 2016