Paul Isaacs' Blog

Autism from the inside


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Living With Anomic Aphasia In The Context of Autism

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Note that this is from a personal perspective

Speaking to a speech and language therapist yesterday it got me thinking about my autism trajectory and what residual and very apparent markers of disability are still present and more importantly how they manifest and present themselves.

Looking Back

As a child it took me a long to time to speak and use language in a functional way. This meant that both receptive and expressive language was hard to filter and decode into something that was connecting and meaningful.

Left Hemisphere & Language

As I have stated in previous blogs part of my development was due to brain injury to the left hemisphere

This part of brain is were human language is formed (although other aspects of the brain will connect with this).

The Presentation Now 1 – Verbal Language

As an adult the type of a aphasia (receptive and expressive) as apart of my autism would be considered residual in presentation, it effects me when I’m tired. My words get stuck like a “blockage” and I have to consciously “find” the words which seem almost on “there” but disappear leading me to have longer pauses or repeat “umm” for example.

The Presentation Now 2 – Visual Perceptual Disorders & Mentalising

Lacking visual internalisation means that I don not have a “meta-reality” which involves complex pictural referencing, in other words I do not “store visual information in a coherent way” meaning that retrieval and word association when tired can be slowed down.

Having simultagnosia means I see things in pieces that has an effect on how I internalise visual information, mentalising (organising) and the need to focus on movement, pattern and touch to externally map-out something rather than internally.

Anomic aphasia (also known as dysnomia, nominal aphasia, and amnesic aphasia) is a mild, fluent type of aphasia where an individual has word retrieval failures and cannot express the words they want to say (particularly nouns and verbs).[1] Anomia is a deficit of expressive language. The most pervasive deficit in the aphasias is anomia. Some level of anomia is seen in all of the aphasias.[2] Individuals with aphasia who display anomia can often describe an object in detail and maybe even use hand gestures to demonstrate how the object is used but cannot find the appropriate word to name the object. [3]

Conclusion The Presentation Now 3 – Anomia (Word Finding )

It is completely understandable that not having an visual memory and having a long developmental history of language associated issues that word finding at times for me can be difficult, but one much use what they have and accept what is going on. I’m glad I am in a position to understand what is going on and I hope this blog helps others who can relate to this. 🙂

Paul Isaacs 2017


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My Language Development – Receptive & Expressive Aphasia & Visual Agnosias

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Note this is from a personal perspective
Overview

Yesterday I presented a speech on my life with autism afterwards I had an interesting conversation with a lady who specialises in aphasia and language development so I thought I would go through my language trajectory.

Speech & Language Delay

I had both delays in speech and language acquisition this means that I was missing milestones on both these areas of language development.

This was noted by my parents during those early years of development and I didn’t a level of functionality to my speech until late infancy.
Receptive Aphasia

This meant the the language of “the world around me” was a garbled tumbling mess that was feel of noises, inflections but not “meaning” in the typical sense at times I would be interested in these “noises” perplexed, intrigued even but it was very much a swirling bottle neck with the words being at the deepest part of ocean within the sea-back grasping yet not.

Expressive Aphasia

When expressive language did present itself it was not at the level firstly of my chronological age and secondly what coming did not reflect what I wanted to say to people around me so there was quite rightfully and frustration there as words would “drop” both receptively and expressibly sentence construction, “word-finding” and neologisms which came in the form of echolalia was present and having created my “own language” (pattern, them and feel) before typical interpretative language and unpicking that was difficult.

As I have said I had before I had “words” within my head but grasping them, finding them and using them was being “blocked” by other factors.

Conclusion

Looking at my overall trajectory would say that I had global anomic aphasia, coupled with additional difficulties created by the visual perceptual disorders and oral apraxia.

OVERVIEW OF APHASIAS

Visual Agnosias, Simultagnosia & Semantic Agnosia – Related to Anomia

The word finding aspects I can split into two aspects, firstly the nature of aphasia itself, not being able to use word retrieval, secondly the perceptual disorders (visual fragmentation, visual semantic problems) and not having “visuals” for words meant that making tangible and “concrete” associations was difficult.

I had to use a lot of tactile-associative strategies sniffing, rubbing, mouthing and sculpting my “external reality” in order to get a aspect of meaning I still very much “live in a world” before the literal so significance and bridging the gaps are important to me.

This meant that perceiving objects, people, faces was one aspect verbally being able to name them was another aspect of language which I found difficult.

Oral Apraxia

I had this which layered the impact of speech production the use of my tongue, mouth, jaw and having a level of “disconnect” between the “words”, the “mind” and “body” not acting as team and going on there own path.

This caused difficulties in expression this carried on for many years and was notable present in observations of me at a CAMHS assessment in 1996 for at that time clinical depression.

Residual Issues Still Present?

I would say the are in particular when I am tired this is something I have become more aware of as I have researched and got older so this means that sometimes my expressive speech can become laboured, slow and I can miss out words in sentences and struggle with “word-finding” etc.

What helps me is music, gesture, tone, placement, telegraphic language and objects of reference to gain the firstly and foundation and then secondly meaningful association. However as always I continue to live life, experience life and enjoy life as much as possible with new experiences, friends and creativity 😉

Paul Isaacs 2016


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“Autism” what does it mean?

Dad and I Dancing

Note This is from personal perspective

When I was diagnosed with autism in 2010 one of the first things that I was told is that was still a “person” even if I didn’t the mechanics and/or “pieces” of my autism that nevertheless was a sage piece of advice that has stayed with me on a personal and professional level.

“Autism” is different for each person so here is a breakdown of my “mechanics”

  • Emotional perception (alexithymia) problems with recognising and verbalising emotional states.
  • Visual perception (visual agnosias) problems with perceiving faces, objects, reading words, colour and “sorting out my visual field into a “whole”.
  • Language processing (receptive aphasia) problems with processing and interpreting “meaning” and “significance” from language.
  • Auditory processing (auditory agnosias) problems with organising the origins of sounds.
  • Body perception (body agnosias and hemiplegia) problems with processing and perception on the right side of my body which affects coordination, problems with recognising pain, hunger and thirst.
  • Body and Movement (visuospatial dysgnosia) left-right disorientation.
  • Light Sensitivity (sensory integration disorder and related learning difficulties) problems with light creating distortions as well as dyslexia and dyscalculia.
  • “self” and “other” processing simultaneous information which requires this can be difficult.
  • Mental health and personality disorders.

Personality Types

I have four main personality types which intermingle with each these are human in terms of presentation but will differ form person to person – human beings under stress may develop “disordered” versions of these types affecting social and personal perception, mood management and interpersonal relationships and friendships.

  1. Idiosyncratic
  2. Mercurial
  3. Self-Sacrificing
  4. Serious

Not Relating To “Autistic Identity/Identity-First Language

I do not see my whole being as “autism” nor define myself by it. I see it apart of me, in my case the pieces are emotional perception, visual perception, language perception, auditory perception,
body perception, light sensitivity, information processing and learning difficulties
with associated mood disorders, exposure anxiety, somatisation disorder, dissociation and personality disorders but they are not a total nor finite definition of my being. I can only speak from my perspective and that is all.

I am “Paul” first with the all the positives and negatives that come with it the likes, dislikes, regrets, dreams and the sense of just “being”.

I shall never adhere to the “club” there is to much militancy, over-investing and politics. I see myself as apart of the human race – no more, no less, no more worthy, no less worthy just a person like one of the billions of people on the planet everyone has a story to tell don’t they. 😉

Paul Isaacs 2016


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Being Brain Damaged – Is Apart of my Autism Profile – A Word That Just “is”

Baby Fisted Hands

Baby picture – note fisted/clasped hands and pointed toes signs of brain injury.

Note – This is from a personal perspective of how autism affects me and my profile.

Brain Damage/Injury

Brain Damaged and/or brain injury is apart of the reason why I have autism and certain “pieces” of it would not have been there but this is due to circumstance and environment the difficult birth.

The placental abruption and oxygen deprivation that caused and stroke, left-right disorientation, visual perceptual disorders, language processing disorder (aphasia) and issues with internalising and externalising language and other developmental aspects.

A Human-Being – Everyone is Equal

I have no problem with seeing this a part of the issues I face nor do I have an issue with the terminology being used.

In the this world today words sometimes to have to be used as marker and my case this is maker of a clustering of symptoms that I have as a result of brain injury.

As I have stated in the title it just “is” and I am fine with this it doesn’t make me feel any more nor any less. I am “Paul” first (and to be honest always will be) everything else pales in the background of significance.

I have been dealt a set cards and I am going to use them to the best of my abilities. I am not a super-human, I am not the next generation of humanity, nor a super-being, I am not technical, logical or literal or “intellectual”. I am afraid I am just a person.

Autism is Person Centred – It isn’t the Complete Definition of the the Person

I would however I say that I am creative (like art, poetry, wordplay, soundplay, textures, patterns, colours and fashion) and idiosyncratic (I play to the own beat) , mercurial (I listen to my emotions) and solitary (I like moments of my own company).

All the other things are redundant to me in the bigger picture they apart of me they aren’t me.

I am just a person living life and that is really all. People can play with words all they want but sometimes it is better to get real if not for your sake then for others.

Paul Isaacs 2015


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Autism, Bullying & Mental Health – Personal Perspectives

This from a personal perspective on Autism and Mental Health 

SITUATIONAL & ENVIRONMENTAL 

From as long as I can remember I was bullied – this came in many forms verbal, physical, emotional/psychological and one instance sexual.

It started at around 5 Years old this point I wasn’t functionally verbal it ranged from instances of verbal humiliation from the local place were I lived, taunts, swearing and so forth to more confrontational approaches such as throwing objects at me, taunting me with nails wrapped in a someone fist (this happened during an altercation at a “kissing gate” which is a gate in a field), threats of harm and death/being killed were even on the cards as well as my family being included as well.

This sort of abuse went on for many years on my local area – it also happened on the way to school via public transport taunts and set-ups were a way of getting my attention but of course it was much more than that.

Family Photo Early 90s 2SCHOOL – PRIMARY EDUCATION 

At Primary School when functionally verbal speech (in year 4) came I was subjected to humiliation by teachers this would include having one to one meetings with the then headteacher. This is were my dissociative disorders started as a way of “self protection” with no parental support (as they were not told of these meetings), being told to walk in “a line”  in a class of silent observant children as this would help with my “walking” and learnt with my first experiences of talking that is was to protect not that is was a way of having a interaction that was balanced nor “normal”.

The last year of Primary School was when I was being bullied by a teacher this cased severe mental disturbances such as anxiety and mood disorders, continued dissociative disorders, depression, somatisation, psychosis (imagining my body “was melting”)  (bad tummies,  stomach cramps, headaches, jaw-ache, toothache) these were perceived to be real by me but they were result at this point of over 7 years of bullying from different places people and origins some I dread to thing where they came from. This lead to me being in mental health services for the first time.

Holiday Early 2000s1SECONDARY EDUCATION 

In the first two weeks bullying started and this took a different turn it would be about my appearance (weight, looks, face, teeth, nose etc) so this lead my down the path of eating disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder, body dysmorphia, emotional dysfunction due to alexithymia and bouts of mutism (due also to information processing and exposure anxiety) and further dissociative episodes  – it also came in the guise of two teachers commenting about me becoming upset and going to the reception in tears. Two teachers used humiliation tactics in front of my classmates with regards to this behaviour of course this was to with emotional processing and went on for approximately a year.

SEXUAL ABUSE

About two years I started having flashbacks (fragmented visions), night terrors and panic attacks what came to a head was an incident of a sexual nature when I was in my mid-teens a form of PTSD emerged with the “false memory”  being “unpicked”. I have no doubt this has had an sub-concious affect on how I view myself, my gender, my sexuality and the way in which I view sex but thankfully I through in this in both coming to terms with it and moving on.

Me Early 20s 1WORKPLACE

From the years of fifteen onwards I had been bullied in the workplace this came in the forms of name-calling, taunts, covert tactics, not being listened too, diversion tactics, gas-lighting to just plain insincerity and nastiness. This can have a dramatic affect how one perceives relationships both personal and professional. This has a dramatic affect on the way in which I viewed work and people in adulthood. I wrote a suicide letter wanting to the end the seemingly endless pain of existing this happened in the late 2000s. And was in adult mental health services.

DAMAGED “GOODS” TO BEING “AFFECTED”

Along with my Autism profile I have had sadly a string of negative situations. I no doubt that it has damaged me, it seems for the last 25 years I have had a torrent of negative behaviours that have affect my perception and my self worth but I live in hope that I can and will get through this and also learn from these situations. I want it to go from damaged to affected. I have the drive to do so.

BE BALANCED & FRIENDSHIP

I value being balanced the clarity in which it brings and the positively that it brings, agreement, disagreement and having a transparent and fluid view on lift – I still wear “my heart on my sleeve” which means I am open and honest about things sadly this can be a problem in certain situations of trust and can has has been used against me but it again goes back to my point of being balanced and regaining connections and perceptions of what true friendships and connections are something that I didn’t have in my early years.

A VICTIM OF NARCISSISM?

I have been from the perspective of being  honest and truthful – an reverse tactics (the “victim” of the circumstance becomes the “nuisance” & “enemy” and must be stopped at all costs! – however how that can be depends on the person in question it can overt to covert and passive-aggressive (via gossiping, mixing lies with the truth and blatant lies) such as avoidance by others or the person’s themselves, getting people “on side”, spying and gossiping and “getting information” this can also lead to the person who is in “right” by character to slowly become the person who is “wrong”.

This blog I can relate to this and the a blog about this entitled Are you being used as a flying monkey for a narcissist? There have been many a time were I have entrusted personal information to people who I thought I could trust only for it to be used against and spun.

Balanced and empathic people will not seek to to do this they will want transparency, fluidised connections and an openness.

CREATIVITY & POSITIVITY 

Through my poems, pictures and writings it has fuelled this aspect of my being and has been both my friend and confidant in all sorts of emotional tides. I am by no means perfect, I want no pity and I am  not a victim through this is what I have learnt the importance of trust, healthy relationships and friendships, failure, truth, being, living and having a laugh at yourself those things to me are important. 🙂

Toyah – It’s A Mystery 

Paul Isaacs 2015


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Autism – Visual Perception, Language, “Self” & “Other” & Connecting

Note – This is from a personal perspective of how autism affects me

Wedding Photos 19861CONNECTING WITH PARENTS

In the early years I remember my parents by parts their being, my Mum would be through the feel of her hair and my Dad through sculpting his face and getting a sense of connectivity through tactile stimulus – the system of “sensing” and “energy” that filled the house was care and love.

FAMILY PETS

We had a dog and that was my first experiences of having an animal I liked him very much and could us me tactile system to “piece together all the dots” through stroking him, in affect he was as much “family” as a had through the lenses of my “parents” the energy was good and safe on both counts I didn’t need to understand why? internalise? It just was at in this point of my development that was fine. I knew they loved me but it was “sensing the love” and that was shown back.

Quinn and I

AWARENESS OF OTHER PEOPLE

Today I was asked when I was aware of other people – I had to think about this it was at school in Year 4 that on basic level I was aware of others this may have been due to gaining functional speech (that was developmentally of a 3 year old) and the connects I was trying to make in a body that was just about obeying my commands, a mind swilling with words but finding it hard to grasp them like sand through my fingers or as ethereal as trying to connect touch-wise with a ghost and endless mirage of sounds, hums and tones which I struggled to into words – living before the literal can be just as much a confusing place as being (language wise) a literal person

A SENSE OF “SELF AND OTHER”

Developmentally from a receptive language perspective am stuck in projecting “self” or “receiving” other, but ( struggle still in real-time to have a conversation in the moment, before I gained functional speech I had “patterned” and/or “sensing” speech/language creating my own words for feelings and I also used to sense “good” and “bad” energy this was living in world before the literal and/or significant. I still use this system today despite being able to speak verbally. A “sense of self” is a complex thing I have garnered the basics a few years ago which to me is good. I still can “tune out” but I hope to get there we are all on a journey. 🙂

Paul Isaacs 2015


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Emotions, Words and Speech Production In The Context Of Autism

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Note – This is from a personal perspective.

The Landscape of Words

Speaking and going on and on for the one’s sake not knowing the beginning where it started nor where it ended or were it should end the internal cluttering coming from within me like a tidal wave of phonics being spurted out in a “scatter gun” approach the receptive sounds coming into my consciousness.

I had a speech and language delay (I had no coherent words in my head until I was 7/8 years old) and the words are still whirling trying to pin point meaning, context, relevance, need, want, substance, creativity, what the other person wants, what I want it doesn’t always fit it at times is lack of coherence a kaleidoscope of feelings with no visual basis or formation

I will always try and have a go and feel by trying it is giving me more opportunities to integrate and connect.

Logorrhea

In psychology, logorrhea or logorrhoea (from Ancient Greek λόγος logos and ῥέω rheo “to flow”) is a communication disorder, expressed by excessive wordiness with minor or sometimes incoherent talkativeness.

Sometimes I talk and talk but it doesn’t mean I understand or connect with what I am saying (the expressive function) and also the.

I don’t always process what the other person is saying (receptive function) this is in context is to do with with aphasia and the “cluttering” of language based auditory information. This is reflected in the content and the way in which I am expressing the information at the time.

Thought Disorder

In psychiatry, thought disorder (TD) or formal thought disorder (FTD) refers to disorganized thinking as evidenced by disorganized speech. Specific thought disorders include derailment, poverty of speech, tangentiality, illogicality, perseveration, neologism, and thought blocking.

Derailment

In psychiatry, derailment (also loosening of association, asyndesis, asyndetic thinking, knight’s move thinking, or entgleisen) is a thought disorder characterized by discourse consisting of a sequence of unrelated or only remotely related ideas. The frame of reference often changes from one sentence to the next.

In the context of how I process words and my own emotions which is a condition called alexithymia (I connect with gesture, movement, tactile feeling, textures and tastes) my thoughts are buried beneath many hidden levels this can lead to thoughts ebbing and flowing from within me with multiple things being said from different areas.

The irregular retrieval means that I always trying to find words for emotions and the emotions come first so it happens in reverse causing the issues stated above also.

Conclusion

I will continue to try and find the things within me that connect with being human which make me feel inclusive, connected and integrated with the world around me using the tools i have learned to the best of my abilities. 🙂

Poetry from a personal perspective has helped me with these processes of word formation and emotions. 🙂

Paul Isaacs 2014


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Phoebe Caldwell – Intensive Interaction And Diverse Communication Profiles Within Autism

As a person on the spectrum I am a firm believer that whenever you are on the the spectrum you are on the spectrum you have a right to have a meaningful and productive life.

Phoebe Caldwell Copyright P.Caldwell

Phoebe Caldwell

Phoebe Caldwell

Tapping into the communication profile of the person is key and she looks at all aspects of the profile

  • Sensory Integration Disorder
  • Receptive and Expressive Language (Aphasia)
  • Telegraphic Speech
  • Gestural Language
  • Rhythm, Pitch and Voice Modulation
  • Touch (if a preference)
  • Exposure Anxiety & Emotional Regulation
  • Neurological Pain
  • Body Agnosias
  • Person’s Environment

Communication – Thinking Of The Person’s Sensory Perceptions

Phoebe looks into the diversity of these communication issues from person to person as the brain’s of these person’s has different things going on, making connections in ways of relevance to that person, ways of meaning to that person it brings results of happiness, lowering anxiety and integration which is both positive and hopeful. I believe that rigid “models of communication” that sold as the way of communicating with a person with autism are wrong because it’s all down to the uniqueness of the person’s profile in other words there is no one way.

Pattern, Theme & Feel – Donna Williams

A world before typical interpretive language could mean that person has created their own language to try and integrate with the world around them, I know my early years I did and it was seen as “gibberish”, “mutterings” but I was trying in a world of visual and auditory distortion to reach out.

  • “Eeeeee!!!” is “happy” which includes clapping and jumpingBubbles
    Low sounds “ugggg!!!” – Is Unhappy
  • And/or “clicking” sounds with my tongue – Represents Anxiety
    Head hitting – Processing problems
  • Chest thumping – I would like come back to this world please
    Head banging – I can’t cope I need some help
  • Sniffing, Licking, Tapping, Mouthing, Rubbing Surroundings – What are you?Sculpting Faces – Who are you?
  • Tilting Head – I Remember You! And I like your company

I still find language difficult but I try my best – a lot what Phoebe does in terms of gestural language and telegraphic speech are from a personal perspective with beneficial for me to get meaning.

Conclusion

Phoebe has an excellent presentation style and projects with passion her over 40 years experience with working with adults on the autism spectrum, she sees the people she works with as people and person’s first which is refreshing to hear and it shows in her work and the people she has helped of the many years.

Paul Isaacs 2014

PHOEBE’S WEBSITE

INTENSIVE INTERACTION


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Strategies For The “Pieces” of My Autism Using Donna Williams’ Fruit Salad Analogy

Fruit Salad Analogy Donna Williams

Note – That this is from a personal perspective of my profile and what makes up “my autism”

Here are all the pieces of my Autism broken down into bits and chucks with a personal perspective on each bit and personal strategies that have helped me over the years.

Expressive Agnosias

Alexithymia

This is an issue with processing one’s own emotions it affects about 85 percent of people on the autism spectrum and is experienced on different levels depending on how one is affected and what moods create the issue.

Personal Perspective

For me emotions come outside in and not inside out they are an invasion a wave of energy that is uncontrollable, invisible and scary – negative emotions take longer to process and configure as well – for example it took my 3 whole years to process (emotionally) that I was being bullied at work everybody else knew I didn’t. I a wave of energy hit me that night as I cried uncontrollably with the realisation of what happened again it took 3 years. As a teenager I would tense my face up and self-harm in the form of knuckling my cheeks, slapping my legs and hitting my arms in confusion and disconnect.

Strategies

  • Paul what are the origins of your feelings (helping me find a starting point)
  • Paul are these feelings environmental (situational) or is this not
  • Use objects of reference and gestural language and representation to explain

Receptive/Expressive Language & Movement Issues (Speech & Communication)

Aphasia

There are many different forms of aphasia which affect both expressive and receptive communication

Personal Perspective

Sounds and language intermingled and became indisputable I would react with glee and find these “sounds” that people made and tilt my head in wonderment, perplexed and even intrigued by these “sounds” this was at pre-school – event now receptive language is difficult for me (words process back into sounds meaning deafness)

Strategies

  • Clipped telegraphic language
  • Tone and overt melody
  • Gestural language – creating movements which connect with the words like a play
  • Allowing processing time

Speech Delay

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Personal Perspective

Swirling sounds and words in my head – I had problems with expressive speech for about the first five years I had no functional language in head for many years – I would have moments of clarity, moments of language which slowly progressed but no one saw because of my external behaviours I had limited words within my head which progressed – no one should be written off if they don’t have expressive speech, I heard things in the playground and slowly processed them and because of how I appeared it looked like I didn’t hear/understand.

Strategies

  • Word and sound play
  • Movement
  • Not presumed incompetence

Language Delay

Personal Perspective

At around the ages of 7/8 years old I gained functional expressive speech of (from a developmental perspective a 3 year old) – with the receptive and expressive language disconnect I had issues with understanding to express and equally expressing to understand. This lead to confusion with not only myself but others around me Speech Apraxia (Verbal Dyspraxia) also compacted the issue (coordination of the mouth and tongue and jaw muscles to extract speech) this was prevalent until late infancy in my CAMHS (Child & Adolescent Mental Health Services) notes speech production was at times heard to understand.

Strategies

  • Clipped Telegraphic Language
  • Gestural language (both from myself and speaker)
  • Word, Sentence & Language play (use of syntax, meaning, word production, sentence connections)
  • Contextualisation of words

Selective Mutism (once functional speech was acquired)

During late infancy and early teenage-hood I had bouts of mutism (having the ability to speak but because of anxiety would not) this included – people who I sensed were non genuine, too much expressive language from speaker (meaning deafness) so unable to give an answer that was contextually correct.

Strategies

  • Understanding the origins of the mutism (social anxiety, exposure anxiety, OCD obsessive compulsive disorder, language processing disorder, social phobia etc)
  • Boosting self-confidence – such as in my cases drawings and exercise
  • Understanding the receptive and expressive communication profile

Tic Disorder & Globus Pharyngis – 8 Years old – was called a “Nervous Throat”

Personal Perspective

In mid to late infancy I had what was termed a nervous throat this was to do with the “feeling” or an obstruction in my throat causing me to in a tic-like fashion make a loud “Hum!” and “ahem!” sound.

Strategies

  • What are the places of anxiety in one’s life that has caused this
  • Making me aware of when I was doing this sound

Echophenomena

Personal Perspective

Sounds, patterns, themes, feeling, movement and experiencing this world, people and place. I don’t use elaborate constructions but do and sense in order to perceive, understand an process I don’t live in a world of literalism nor logic as basis of “concrete” understanding – even now that form of and basis of understanding things, people, environments etc.

Strategies

  • Movies (focusing on the sounds, movements and expressions)
  • Music (tone, melody and rhyming)
  • Observing surroundings and contextualisation

Visual Agnosias

Personal Experience

I see faces (face blindness), bodies and visual environment as fragmented (object blindness) which also meant I could not see body language or facial expression , flat tursh and without depth or meaning (meaning blindness) not understanding self and other of what is around me for example it took me until 16 years old to understand that when I looked in the mirror firstly I was looking at myself (although I still get a level of disconnect) and that what “seems to be in front of me” is in reality behind me. My visual perceptual systems have layered effect on what I see and interpret.

Strategies

  • Sculpting objects in my space this would including licking, sniffing, mouthing as a way to externalise the object making it real for me this help me map out my space
  • Preference for having no shoes of socks on in my youth and around the house (patterning movements)
  • Sculpting faces remembering and connecting with someone by touching their face (I have only done that to 7 people in my lifetime to date)
  • Having objects on display not “hidden” because I don’t have visual memory so placement is important
  • Recognising people by sensing their patterns of movement and their voice
  • Tinted lenses help with sensory integration, moving in visual space, depth perception, body language, posture and confidence

Auditory Agnosias/Aphasia

Personal Perspective

Hearing sounds environmental with no on origin (auditory agnosias) hearing words as “sounds” (verbal auditory agnosia/receptive aphasia) missing tone, sarcasm, idioms not because of literalism but because of how much language I can process before I “hear” nothing.

Strategies

  • Telegraphic language and clipped words for the origins of environmental sounds (auditory agnosias)
  • Telegraphic and gestural language – being overt, pantomime like in expression, tone and melody
  • Music, rhythmic beats and movement help my brain “work”

Body Disconnection

Personal Perspective

Not being connected to my body means that pain is not recognised as well as a sense of my own body its inter-connectivity and its connection (as a whole form) around the world around me, I appeared odd to bouts of trauma having a tooth almost knocked out (an elbow to the mouth) was me with indifference to pain but shock and sadness at the blood (this element coming out of me) and a dislocated arm was met with anger and confusion because of the lack of movement not the pain. During times of mental illness I self-harmed both my arms not “knowing when to stop” and as a child I didn’t have knowledge of my fingers (my limbs also rolled into one another as if they didn’t exist).

Strategies

  • Pressure points around my body – bracelets on wrists, tight shoes, belt, jacket and/or shirt and long hair tied back (adding pressure getting a sense of my head)
  • As a young child smearing paint, moulding play dough and sifting sand (to get a sense of my “foreign fingers”)
  • Messy play as a child
  • Dental appointments (for me this is form of sensory integration and very relaxing) 🙂

Dissociative Disorders – Recognised in 2012/Revised 2014

Personal Perspective

In late infancy I started to dissociate as coping mechanism during these years and for many after taking myself away from both the situation and environment, persistent bullying during my educational and work years didn’t help the issue and I “created” personas (with strong reactionary personality profiles) to deal with this. I developed PTSD some years ago reliving an abusive incident that happened in my mid teenager years.

Strategies

  • Understanding that dissociation is on a spectrum from daydreaming to higher frequencies and detachment of you the person and/or the environment you are in.
  • Therapy that includes mapping memory, incidents, personas and coping mechanisms
  • Understanding trigger responses
  • Personal origins of dissociation

Mental Health

Personal Perspective

I started to develop OCD in my early teenager years this was persistent and would resulted in hand washing, placement moving and plug and switch checking, door-slamming and checking. Exposure anxiety was to do with an involuntary response to direct exposure interaction this would lead me to run away literally (or in my mind). Like many people on the spectrum I advocate the personhood first in the late 2000s I developed two distinct personality disorders (extreme versions of my “normalised” personality traits.)

Strategies

  • Origins of OCD – in my case this was fear of the house being burned down, burglary, germs and confirmation, and invasive illness that would lead to pain and/or death
  • Indirect confrontation for exposure anxiety talking away from me, talking about me but allowing me to hear it and integrate it without being in the mix
  • Knowing personality its traits and extremes (disordered versions of “normalised” versions/traits)

Learning Difficulties

Personal Perspective

Words swilling in my head I found them hard to process and strand together as words formed in my head over time I found it hard to translate them onto the page, the same with numbers which don’t swill in my head I found it hard to grasp numbers their meaning and their interpretation and their overall function.

Strategies

  • Clipped sentences – one stage at a time
  • Pens with extra grip (fine motor movements)
  • Alternate ways of writing
  • Function and context of what number “mean”

Auto-Immune

Candida Albicans

Personal Perspective

Many foods would make me fill ill both in body and mind causing me to have brain fog, lack concentration and further hinder my processing and integration of information from my surroundings, language and sounds.

Strategies

  • Understand foods, their content and what ingredients they have in them
  • Piecing together what foods are making you ill, unwell and have brain fog
  • Piecing together what foods you can have that don’t make you ill

Other

Personal Perspective

This can be related to anxiety it is the slow stripping of enamel making them look “smooth” and/or “chipped” in appearance I have this with many teeth on one side of mouth

Strategies

  • For me regular checks at the dentist and a gum guard at night has helped with issue
Dr Casanova

Dr Casanova

Genetics – Developmental Agnosias & Minicolumns

Some agnosias, sensory hypersensitivity, sensory integration disorders and many other conditions and syndrome can be passed down and can be seen as congenital in nature how the brain has grown with genetic encoding – Neurologist Dr Manuel Casanova calls this Minicolumns please take a look at this blog about his research and findings

AUTISM & MINICOLUMNS

PERSONAL WEBSITE

PERSONAL BLOG SITE

Donna Williams 2011

Donna Williams

Donna Williams – Autism as a “Fruit Salad”

Donna is quite correct in letting the world know that autism is a “clustering” of different conditions (both neurological and metabolic systems), syndromes, personhood and personality extremes, environment, mental health and learning styles. No one person with autism is the same and that means there is a high level of diversity to their which is good.

WHAT IS AUTISM? BLOG

AUTISM & ASPERGERS “FRUIT SALADS”

PERSONAL WEBSITE

Premature 1

Me Premature

Brain Injury Relates To My Autism Profile

Having brain injury at both has also had an impact on my autism presentation I was born premature and through placental abruption, cerebral hypoxia, silent stroke and damage the left hemisphere of the brain (which is related to aphasia, language processing, visual agnosias, simultagnosia, apraxias and visual spatial functioning).

HYPOXIA & BRAIN INJURY

I would say that these added factors has made my autism “Fruit Salad” more complex in nature and presentation – there are clearly other members of my are on the on the autism spectrum who have been diagnosed but their profiles are very different from mine in terms of presentation the mechanics.

Having an Autie Profile

Having an Autie profile in terms of presentation means I live in world (from a processing perspective) that is less literal, less logical and I use my sensory systems to work out the world I live in and I think it is important to know the mechanical differences between Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome and the people in between profiles of the two “Aspinauts” .

Every profile is unique in presentation so interventions, learning and communications will have to be person centred.

Personhood First? Why?

For all what is said and done I want to be known for my personhood first my autism comes along with me wherever I go, however it doesn’t define my being, it doesn’t make me what I am in totality (it affects how I perceive and processing the world). I love art, poetry, music, movies, fashion, drawing, being silly, bad jokes, dogs and want to know for those things first.

I hope this helps others. 🙂

Paul Isaacs 2014


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Autism, Aphasia & Visual Agnosias – Telegraphic Language & Gestural Communication

Note – This is from a personal perspective of having Aphasia and Visual agnosias as apart of my Autism
BrocasAreaSmall

APHASIA – LANGUAGE PROCESSING DISORDER

As a child I appeared “deaf” this was because of severe receptive and expressive language processing other words I have used in my blog are related – pure wordness, verbal auditory agnosia and meaning deafness. This is to do with the left hemisphere of the brain – even now words can tumble into “sounds” with no auditory or contextual origin I hear melody rise and fall but no meaning, nothing to grasp. The words are “dead” and not brought to life.

VISUAL AGNOSIAS

I struggle to gain visual context, things are see are fragmented, distorted, tursh and flat with no depth no origins, foreign intriguing and amazing as well as bewildering and confusing. I don’t live in a world world with logical and literalism as a backup for my lack of visual understanding I must “feel” for understanding and contextualisation.

Simultagnosia – Visual Fragmentation – Object Blindness

Inability to recognize multiple elements in a visual presentation, one object or some elements of a scene can be appreciated but not the display as a whole.

Semantic Agnosia – Meaning Blindness

An agnosia that is a loss of the ability to visually recognise an object while maintaining the use of non-visual sensory systems such as feeling, tapping, smelling, rocking or flicking the object to recognise the object.

Prosopagnosia – Faceblindness
inability to recognize the faces of other people or one’s own features in a mirror, due to damage to the underside of both occipital lobes.

Visual-Verbal Agnosia

visual-verbal agnosia (also referred to as pure word blindness or alexia without agraphia).Individuals with this disorder show a marked reduction in their ability to read the printed word, through their writing and other language modalities remain essentially intact.

Hemispatial Neglect

Being “blind” to one side of my body and and visual field this includes motor coordination this also relates to visual spatial disorders and seeing things in 2D which can be related (at least in my case to visual object agnosia).

Homonymous hemianopsia

Processing “half” my visual field.
Telegraphic Language

This clipped form of language helps me if you want to get a point and also if you want to use emotive language etc.

Gestural Signing and Movements

In order to me to understand the words and where they are going (remember I am not literal and I am processing before typical interpretive language) externalise use your body, your hands and exaggerated gestures creating a play in front my eyes and also use melody in your voice (I am not tonal deaf either) to help my grasp the movements to give them meaning this also helps because I cannot internlise words because of the visual agnosias.

Kate Bush – Wuthering Heights

Kate Bush – Bush Babooshka

Think of how Kate tells the story in this video with melody and movement using her hands and body to tell the story.

ARTICLE ON APHASIA AND GESTURE

Differences in the communicative use of gesticulation and pantomime in a case of aphasia PDF (conclusion below)

Conclusion

This study has shown that both gesticulation and pantomime can be used communicatively in a person with aphasia.
Importantly however, this may differ per communicative setting. Furthermore, even though a gesture mode might be
impaired it can be useful still. In clinical practice each of these gesture modes should be assessed separately in
different types of communicative settings. In these assessments the emphasis should be on comprehensibility
rather than on the correct use of a representation technique
“Pseudo” Social Emotional Agnosia

The reason why I miss tone (melody), sarcasm, idioms in language isn’t because I am literal and have a semantic pragmatic issue with language it is because words (all of them in some case) tumble into sounds or I pick up on key words. The reason why I don’t “see” body language and facial expression is because of visual agnosias and visual fragmentation and that is an important difference to mention.

Objects Of Reference

Objects can create relaties in front of me I remember movements, patterns, themes and feels what you are saying – objects can create contextual realities for me as you move them and uses them as examples it grounds me with what you are saying and more importantly meaning.

I have an Autism profile not an Asperger’s Profile

Fruit Salad Analogy Copyright D.Williams

Fruit Salad Analogy Copyright D.Williams

I think this is very important element to point out I see people with AS and their profiles as unique I am intrigued and amazed with how they use language, strong logical reasoning and literalism to decipher the social world and other elements of it.

Classic Autism

Although I don’t fit the “typical presentation” of classic autism that is what my presentation and what my processing and profile innards are (people would have to live with me for a week to experience my processing world).

I was diagnosed with high functioning autism in 2010 with my parents giving a diagnostic history by a clinical psychiatrist this was because of –

and scotopic sensitivity syndrome in 2012 by an Irlen specialist with a additional recognition of severe autism (on my diagnostic report) because of –

Profile Differences

I don’t fit the presentation of Asperger’s Syndrome and these differences are very important in terms of mythbusting what Autism “looks like”. It as diverse set of pre-existing conditions that are stacked that then create the unique profiles and presentations.

Learning and Likes

  • I love melody and movement and music, sound bites, “sounds” of words etc – I one of the reasons why I like certain TV shows and movies isn’t to do with being a visual processor or thinker
  • When I move I think when I think I move
  • The bigger the gestures (with language) the more context I get
  • I have melodies, jingles and sound bites in my head a lot of the time – Musical Ear Syndrome
  • I don’t learn by pictures they don’t compute and words must be “brought alive”

Remember every profile is unique and different that includes personalities, co-conditions and what “pieces make up the persons Autism. 🙂

Paul Isaacs 2014