Paul Isaacs' Blog

Autism from the inside


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Anxiety Disorders and Autism

Sound Asleep 2Autism And Anxiety? 

When one looks at “autism” and what is “autism” to say that anxiety is autism or autism is anxiety we do you mean by that? When we look at the clustering and overlapping issues that can make a human being anxious it is not exclusive to  autism that someone gets anxious, depressed, lonely, isolated, confused and at a loss. One’s reality should be taken as it is not as a false projection of what is should be.

Autism Doesn’t Have A Collective “Look”

This is why I get worried about the “autistic culture” movement stating what “is” and “isn’t” an “autistic reality” personally I would like to know what such a “reality” that is?

A Human Life? 

I certainly don not live an “autistic life”. I live a human life like everyone else on the planet these stereotypes are not only unhelpful but can cut-off people whom do not fit the status quo and if that is the case then that is just reverse bigotry.

What Is Behind The Behaviour? Is It More? 

When look at different aspects of anxiety based disorders one has to look at what they are in terms of presentation and if they overlap with something this could be for example certain personality types that are more driven by hyper-vigilance, obsessive-compulsive states or over-thinking/analysis.

CATASTROPHIZING
EXPOSURE ANXIETY
GENERALISED ANXIETY DISORDER
PANIC DISORDER
PHOBIAS
SEPARATION ANXIETY DISORDER
SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER
SOCIAL PHOBIA

TECHNOLOGY RELATED
GAMING ADDICTION
INTERNET ADDICTION DISORDER

OTHER
BEHAVIORAL ADDICTION
OCD
TOURETTES

(taken from “what is autism” donna william’/polly samuel’s blog page)

Lets look at facts not fads.

Paul Isaacs 2016

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Asperger’s & The Conscientious Personality Type

All people have personality types that colour their being and “souls” for want of a better word and looking at the profile of Asperger’ Syndrome it certainly has been very interesting breaking down this profile can be put into these domains.

 These are the basics of the “profile” which can be separated into 5 different domains social perception, sensory integration, language processing, emotional perception and motor coordination.

Now let’s have a look at the conscientious personality type

  •  having strong moral principles and being certain
  • not resting until the job is done and done right
  • being loyal to families, causes, and superiors
  • working hard to do well
  • achieving and accomplishing things
  • loving to work and be challenged
  1. Hard work. The Conscientious person is dedicated to work, works very hard, and is capable of intense, single-minded effort.
  2. The right thing. To be Conscientious is to be a person of conscience. These are men and women of strong moral principles and values. Opinions and beliefs on any subject are rarely held lightly. Conscientious individuals want to do the right thing.
  3. The right way. Everything must be done “right,” and the Conscientious person has a clear understanding of what that means, from the correct way to balance the checkbook, to the best strategy to achieve the boss’s objectives, to how to fit every single dirty dish into the dishwasher.
  4. Perfectionism. The Conscientious person likes all tasks and projects to be complete to the final detail, without even minor flaws.
  5. Perseverance. They stick to their convictions and opinions. Opposition only serves to strengthen their dogged determination.
  6. Order and detail. Conscientious people like the appearance of orderliness and tidiness. They are good organizers, catalogers, and list makers. No detail is too small for Conscientious consideration.
  7. Prudence. Thrifty, careful, and cautious in all areas of their lives, Conscientious individuals do not give in to reckless abandon or wild excess.
  8. Accumulation. A “pack rat,” the Conscientious person saves and collects things, reluctant to discard anything that has, formerly had, or someday may have value for him or her.

What I would like to do with this is myth-bust to some degree what is the “Asperger’s” and what is simply a personality type that rides along with the overall profile the profile is split into 5 domains the other aspects are simply a personality type and I wonder if sometimes the two get confused as the same thing.

Idiosyncrasies, production and use of speech, conversation and are going to be a part of the mix and seeing the person as more than their disability is something a firmly advocate.

Paul Isaacs 2016


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The “Autistic Identity” Phenomena

When I was diagnosed was autism in 2010 – I wasn’t aware of such an “identity” because to honest I was never in that “world” at all. I often wonder that despite the obvious difficulties I had during my development and environment the one thing that I had going for me was the simple “human-hood” which was conveyed by the my parents as a way of connecting with me.

I don’t consider this perception from my parents to be “unique”, “specialised” or “autistic-specific” in its intentions nor in its thinking at the time (although it could have well be seen as that on reflection).

I wasn’t born with a “label”

In many of my blogs I have spoken about the balance of being seen as “human”, “person” and “being” first and as I have been in this “world” for over five years. I have seen the firm importance of seeing people as “people”, by not defining their whole “soul”, “identity”, “being” by their label (or labels) nor having it being overtly defined for them so there is nothing else left.

“Labels” are an adjective not an overall definition

If everybody was to be defined by solely by a “label” wouldn’t it be restrictive, suffocating and narrowing your bandwidth of experiences, perceptions, thoughts and feelings?

Not towing line meant I could see “myself”

I am glad that I haven’t towed the line into the realms of stereotypes, group think, confirmation bias and all the militancy that goes with it. I am glad that my parents after I was diagnosed said that I am still “Paul” regardless. I am glad that I see the importance of seeing somone as a person first. I am glad that I have other interests that take up my time productively such as drawing, poetry, walks in the countryside and meeting up with friends.

People are people regardless

I am free to think and feel and have a more refined outlook that I am firstly and thankfully not being the centre of the universe, not the big answer all  to the questions, not speaking for “all” (because no one can) and have a egalitarian view that all people are of equal worth in this world no more and certainly no less.

Paul Isaacs 2016


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In The End We Are ALL Human Beings & That Is Fine

To stay grounded and not get whipped up be the construct of “other” through “fame” – to be seen as a “being” that is on an equal plane is far more rewarding, beneficial socially, emotional binding empowering. People are after all are people and one is no better nor worse than anybody else be yourself.

Then maybe we would live in more selfless (rather than selfish) society.

Paul Isaacs 2015


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An Accessible Look At My Autism Profile – Part 1

ReceptionThis is a laymen’s terms/accessible version of my autism profile – although I have written previous blogs with technical information about the “mechanics” of my autism here is an “easy read” version of my autism which is broken down into a heading and paragraphs and/or sentences with hyperlinks attached for further information. 

As always this is from a personal perspective.

Alexithymia (Emotional Processing)

Not understanding, processing or receiving my own emotions in “real time” this also affects how I understand bodily messages such as thirst and hunger – Poetry, painting , drawing and music help me process my emotions contextually.

Aphasia (Language Processing)

I have processing delay with language this means I struggle to find words, lose them, find them again and lose them again etc – I live before literal and struggle to find significance in language – however music, bests, rhythm and gesture help me access meaningful language.

Speech Delay (Developmental Milestone)

The developmental milestone of speech was delayed noticeably during my early years (please checkout other blogs for further information).

Language Delay (Developmental Milestone)

The developmental language milestone where delay even when speech was acquired.

Speech Apraxia (Verbal Dyspraxia) (Body Disconnection/Mouth)

I had a disconnect between my body and brain so my brain would have words but my body (mouth, jaws, tongue and lips) didn’t seem to want to “join up” this lead to feeling of heightened frustration to total indifference.

Selective Mutism – (once functional speech was acquired) (Co-Condition

In times of anxiety and/or dissociation I would choose to be mute

Tic Disorder & Globus Pharyngis (Co-condition/Mental Health) – 8 Years old – was called a “Nervous Throat”

This was due to a sensation of something being within my throat this would cause me to throat clear in an abrupt and idiosyncratic (odd) fashion.

Echophenomena (Developmental Milestones – Speech, Movement, Body Language)

  1. Echolalia – Echoing of words (delayed and instant)
  2. Echopraxia Echoing of movements (delayed)
  3. Echomimia Echoing of facial expressions (delayed)
  4. Palilalia Echoing of one’s own words (instant/delayed)

Visual Agnosias (Visual Perceptual Disorders/”Seeing” without meaning and/or “Seeing” but not piecing the “wholes” together)

Semantic Agnosia (Meaning Blindness)

Not retaining what is being seen so I would tap, sniff, lick, rub, mouth and tongue to gain a reality and an experience of my environment.

Simultagnosia (Object Blindness)

Not seeing in wholes – so seeing “fragments” and not seeing the “whole picture”

Prosopagnosia (Face Blindness)

Not processing faces and/or recognising  people by their faces.

Visual – Verbal Agnosia (Comprehension Blindness)

Reading without internalising/retaining meaning

Colour Agnosia

Seeing colours but not processing/understanding or recognising differentiation between them by name (in my case I recognise red but struggle to sometimes name of colours)

Mirror Agnosia (visual processing) 

Not understanding nor processing “other” or “self”  in mirrors for example I would and still get fooled by mirrors and when I was younger used to think that was behind me was in front of me.

Form Agnosia (Visual/Cognitive/Auditory & Contextual) 

Not configuring the “whole”

Pure Auditory Agnosia (Auditory Perception)

Not processing/understanding or the “origins” of sounds and associating them when I next “hear” them.

Language Auditory Agnosia (Meaning Deafness)

A type of aphasia (Language processing disorder).

Tonal Agnosia (Atonia) (Language Processing)

I “hear” tone but sometimes do not associate with meaning.

Pain Agnosia (Body Disconnection) 

I do not process pain at all or there is a significant delay in recognition.

Visualspatial Dysgnosia (Body Blindness)

I do not recognise my body in space so I wear tight clothes, bracelets, tight shoes to get a “reference” of my body.

Finger Agnosia (Digit Blindness)

As a child I had trouble reference that I had fingers and “where they were” this was due to body disconnection.

Paul Isaacs 2015


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Autism & What About Humanity? And Connectivity?

Family Christmas Early 90s

Dad, Gramp & Me Just “Being”

Autism it just “is” when I go out in the world the biggest thing for me is to be apart of humanity, people, beings – so when I go down the street what do you “see” and what do.

I “see” – “Autism” is a name for a clustering of pre-existing conditions which I have which for me are (PERCEPTUAL, LANGUAGE EXPRESSION, AUDITORY, LANGUAGE RECEPTION, BRAIN INJURY, MOVEMENT, COGNITION) this is PERSONAL to me but they affect how I process things/understand things – they do not define my TOTALITY nor are they “ME” I am artistic, idiosyncratic, emotive, emotional, creative, solitary, serious, funny, silly etc those things are what is called shared things with other people (regardless of any disability or not).

Autism is something I am neither proud or nor ashamed of it just “is” I was born a person so I would rather people see me as a person (as everyone else should be) not to be swept up by stereotypes, or militancy or “them” and “us” perceptions, but be seen as person. I am not a an “object” to be observed nor am I a “genius” to be revered – so if we look at being balanced about things then we open up more doors then close them. I am no “better” nor “worse”. We (as human beings) are all equal. 

Paul Isaacs 2015


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There Is No Collective “Sameness” In Autism The Profiles Are Person Specific

Lindsay Meetup 2014 Hi-Def4Autism & Identity 

Autism is a developmental disability which has an effect has and effect on a person’s functioning in various different areas of functioning. It is a diverse in its presentations, profiles and most in importantly the “mechanics” in other words what is different parts of the “clustering”.

Identity could be to to with the politics and culture that has been created around the Autism & Asperger’s Syndrome they are words for an overview of specific profiles and presentations. I don’t believe that autism is a culture at all. We are all human and cultures are created around “things”.

Autism & Asperger’s Syndrome – Profile Differences

Observations and studies 

Observations from autism consultant Donna Williams and also a recent study in 2011 shows structural differences from a neurodevelopmental perspective within different areas and regions within the brain. This I feel is important not only for people on the the spectrum but family members, teachers and other forms of support for the individual in question.

It is about personalising the support. There are of course people within who have both an Aspie and Autie in terms of mechanics which shows have fluid presentations are.

Autism Rather Than Asperger’s? Why? 

This isn’t specifically to with with my identity (I see myself as a person first( at all and isn’t said the intent to annoy or aggravate people neither. When I say “I have Autism rather than Asperger’s” I am talking about mechanics (what makes up my autism) and my formal diagnosis and differences which are apparent to me and how important it is to know them from this perspective. I have written many blogs on the subjects.

Why I have Autism Not Asperger’s Syndrome  

Why I Have Autism (Rather Than Asperger’s Syndrome) And The Importance In The Differences

Autism – No One Person Is The Same 

Autism is a clustering of pre-existing conditions that build up the person’s profile’s and presentation’s –  there is no “sameness” in that everyone on the spectrum is the same or share identical characteristics. I destian from using “us” and “we” language (single representation) and also “them” and “us” language. (people with autism and people without) Firstly because it is inaccurate to do so, secondly the only perspective I have is my own that is it and thirdly as an autism advocate that is a professional responsibility that I take very seriously I will not adorn to the status quo just because “that’s what is people want to hear”. I cannot speak for everyone that would not be right and potentially damaging.

Lets start being person-specific about profiles not generic, generalised and batting out stereotypes that can make people feel isolated or worse.

Toddler 1The Lost Voices – More Inclusion Needed

Everybody deserves and has a right to talk about their experiences – one could argue it is human right what has concerned me is the political militancy that I have observed on social media. I wonder how many more people are going to be hurt? I hope that is stops and people start listen – because sadly voices (valued perspectives) are going to be lost through bullying and silencing.

I have written this before but I feel inclusion is for everybody 

  • People with Autism and Learning Disabilities
  • People who Are Functionally Non-Verbal
  • Views and Perspectives From The Whole Spectrum (Different Cultures & Backgrounds)
  • Parents, Carers & Guardians
  • Autism Specialists
  • & More

Paul Isaacs 2015