Paul Isaacs' Blog

Autism from the inside


1 Comment

I Am Glad I Got Bullied And Here’s Why

Me Holding Something 1

Note this is from a personal perspective 

I was speaking with two friends this evening and the subject of school-life came up it was an interesting exercise in subjectivity, objectivity and personal experiences shaping people’s lives but not defining them as we all move on.

My friend respectfully and realistically pointed out the fact that when students are at school (regardless of disability or otherwise) they are on their own unique journeys and difficulties can arise from all sorts of areas which have an impact of self-esteem, confidence and the ability to thrive on a functional level.

Enviroment vs. Social-Emotional Development

I was diagnosed late after my mainstream education had finished the best foundation for “social” I was given was through my tenure in education. It gave me the ability to cope with stressful situations, integrate and overall gave me the invaluable skills of living a “human life” rather than a “autistic life”. I was around people and my disability was not being flag waved to the point where I lost myself and was only defined by one single factor.

Is Bullying/Psychopathy Normal in Educational Settings?

I was surrounded by people who used interpretive speech. I still find this mode of speaking difficult and it is something I have aqquired a long the way in the context of school yes that was true. I cannot deny the verbal and at times physical abuse I encountered at school by other students on a daily basis as ‘normal‘ as their conscious psychothapy and narcissism was allowed run free regardless of the emotional damage that ensued.

Yes it is subjective and many of the students that bullied were emotionally insucure however being so doesn’t give you a free ticket to do it to others, however they did. I see this as a learning curve and lessons in life and I am thankful to learn from the shit and make sculptures out of it. 🙂

They may have changed which is great, found families, bared children etc I wish them well on their journeys.

Human Journeys

We (as people) are all on our journeys and bullying and victimisation was part of my experience however many others have been in the similar situations and I refuse to define my present situation by the past experiences. I am indifferent and objective about my past it happened and I am done with the “what could have beens” and “what ifs” I am thankful for my overall experience I would not have had it any other way.

I consider my reality no better or worse than any others, I don’t consider myself “special”, “better” and/or “superior” to anyone else. Affirmation has to be contextual and real not dished out like candy with hollow self-praise. There are too many people in the western world who just want their cake and to eat it all if only it was to shared out a bit more so other people’s realities could be shared and equally acknowledged with the sub-test of mine is better/worse than yours.

Tides of Glory 

I strayed and came about

Eager to scream and longing to shout

I have travelled a life which has been painted

I refuse to see my deepest memories as tainted

Come up and down and my thoughts fleeting around

I pick my body and ground my mind with the comfort of sound

A cloud full memories embraced and feetful of walking to be chased

A human being am I no better nor worse living a madless time at even pace

Paul Isaacs 2017

 

 


1 Comment

Blocking and Unfriending – The Psychological Fallout?

Social Media

The social phenomena of Facebook and Twitter has created it’s own tribulations of connecting with people in a variety of positive and meaningful ways something that is both brilliant and amazing, however the nature of unfriending and blocking has it’s own consequences to both parties suggested science daily although friendships can flow and move on in “real-life” the termination of a friendship on social media can have its own repercussions.

Different Reasons

This isn’t to say that either party is wrong nor right, sometimes these things are entirely justified  sometimes the person needs a break from social media, they have personal issues that need to be resolved, friendship/relationship/family issues and inappropriate behaviour from the other person. Different scenarios maybe more negative and deliberate such as cyber-bullying, social/psychological manipulation and gas-lighting for example. It is interesting the psychology behind it.

Personality & Dealing With Unfriending & Blocking 

I think it all depends on personality types in how you will react or not as the case may be looking at my personality types both mercurial and self-sacrificing are both both a blessing and a double-edged sword I look to help others but at times that can be to the detriment of own functioning, I like to know people are fine, content, happy but being mercurial I have to rain in the “volume” of these things and that is called responsibility for myself and how I behave around others. When people block or unfriend me I am more concerned about them than myself. 

Studies For The Future?

Environmental factors, personality clashes and miscommunication can arise for anyone on this social format I suppose it is what “buttons” we can deal with and what “triggers” them off. I would like to see a study in Ptypes and the social sites.

Paul Isaacs 2016


Leave a comment

We Left The EU But Things Still Need To Change

An Opinion Should Not Be Force Fed 

Well we left so now what do we do? It’s a question on everybody’s mind who both wanted to be in and out – we will all have our different views of what should be done. I do not hold much clout with the people who done it because they were covert or over racists, nor people who wanted a quick fix for obscure smoke and mirrors memes that had more more bullshit in them than the farmer’s field next to me.

Divisions? 

Tell you what I am sick of preying on the sick, elderly old and vulnerable in society, the homeless “that should have done more” What if they done their best?, the old man or woman “who society doesn’t give a dam about.” What if old he or she wanted was a friend and someone to talk to?, the man or woman with cancer “who is fit for work” What about all those years he or she did?, the foreigner who “should go t back to were he or she came from” what is if going back meant being killed? Poverty or worse?

Rich Fuelled Society?

A top down society where the white elite hold more grounds, money and wealth to end all of world poverty? What about a basic standard of living for all which meant no one was to suffer or have additional issues that wouldn’t be there.

More Money Lack Of Care?

Society has been blinded by two things the first is Money money, money, money that is all about these days I want more money to buy my house, I want to invest, want more and when I get some more I want more and then some! The god of many the devil to some don’t you think? It promotes a lack of care for human beings with its shallowness and societal profiling.

The next thing is care. Yes care do “we” actually care anymore? About others what sort of society are we being fed? A generic, money making, I step over you to get to the top, cooperate, me, me, me attitude riddled rhetoric.

Hope Continues 

Here’s the hope folks it is about bridging society, communities, creeds, colours, races, genders, sexuality, young, old and disabled. Its about having an NHS, fairer society security, a moral basic standard of living. To break the hate it starts at the grass roots and that is where it should start. There is hope.

Paul Isaacs 2016


Leave a comment

When People Have Cancer And Others Are So Selfish

Dad 2012Think About This?  

I like this a lot me Dad gets this all the the time you “look well”, “you seem well”, “you look ok”, “you look healthy” or the best on “you can take a tablet for that?” well when my Dad is

  • In Perssiant pain
  • Fatigue
  • Depression
  • Reacting to drugs on a daily basis
  • Blood infusions (cleaing his blood) on weekly basis
  • Muscles that tighten on a weekly basis
  • Soft tissue that is so damaged that he has scarring on his lungs
  • Graft vs host disease that leaves him in pain and fatigue
  • Nearly dying in hospital on five separate occlusions
  • Leukaemia that effects his auto-immune system and has done for over 6 years

Then maybe just maybe will people think about my Dad ‘s or our family’s reality? Rather than ignoring him on the street or where he lives (yes that has happened on more than once) even if you don’t speak to him. don’t be so selfish, narcissistic and ignorant to think that everything is going to be on your terms and is always about you.

My Dad is a humble, easy-going, socially accepting man and is still a very positive man despite the difficulties listed above. 🙂

What is Sick Supposed To Look Like Anyways? Video Link 

Paul Isaacs 2016


Leave a comment

“You” Aren’t The Centre Of Everything – Being Connected With Others

To Be Giving

The over-invested ego is one that goes through life like the sun things are always revolving around them, no sharing, no giving, no connecting what a sad life that must to be consumed by your own self importance with no room to share anything with others – let go of the ego and live a life of meaningful and noble connectedness with others.

Paul Isaacs 2016


Leave a comment

The Oceans Of Communities

Friends and Friends Alike 

The new media of the book of face has made me once question my values of what friendship really is – I have come to the conclusion that fruitfulness of friendship and unity knows no bounds like a lake travelling out to sea and crossing oceans of culture, language and other worlds that are just within a grasp – deep and meaningfulness is solidified in the connectedness that is felt with each person – so a friendship is just as important as a friend whom decides otherwise not to be apart of your life but to carrying with their own that is not sad occasion but a freeing one – wish them no ill as it is not something that comes readily but live in hope that everybody finds grounded being in this world.

Paul Isaacs 2016


Leave a comment

The Striving To Be Balanced

What is like to just “be”? 

The eagerness to be loved, adorned and “famous” is to be in a crippling lament for things so trivial that is but a speck in eternity of what is in the moment of your own universe, the truth is you are not the universe you are apart of, not the centre, you are neither bindless nor to binded, fragile yet made of stone, wings neither clipped, nor straddled to the sky – to seek peace is to be at one with yourself and find yourself with others – the selfless task of giving is more that just a fruitful act but something that comes from a place much deeper.

Paul Isaacs 2016