Paul Isaacs' Blog

Autism from the inside

Leave a comment

Should Parents Be Friends With Their Children?

Caregiver Role?

Parents should never be your friends it’s set as an unhealthy president. They are your caregivers not your companions but they can however be your guides and signposts.

The Cycle of Emotional Incest, Negative Attachment Patterns & Impact On Development

What can and dues happen is a cycle of co-dependency, attachment disorders, emotional instability, lack of self identity (common in borderlines), depression and anxiety.

Emotional incest (covert incest) is where a caregiver emotionally “dumps” on a child through.

– Inappropriate behaviour
– Emotional Outbursts (emotional dysregulation)
– Unresolved Issues (trauma, attachment, identity)
– Expectation that the child must “fix” emotional problems and make them happy
– Fears the child gaining autonomy (friendship, relationships, self identity)
Co-dependency (monopolising and manipulation)

This can lead to the child having challenges (leading and through adolescent and adulthood) in and around

– Self identity
– Perceptions of Intimacy
– Sexual Intercourse
– Friendships & Relationships
– Boundaries & Attachment
– Love vs. “Fixing”
– Heightened nervous system responses


Be brave enough to break the cycle, find who you are, be assertive, take control, live your connected life and allow yourself to grow authenticity.

Paul Isaacs 2022

Leave a comment

NAS Lambeth /A2ndVoice Workshop – Autism & Exposure Anxiety

This workshop was about the crossover between Autism and Exposure Anxiety. Presented and Hosted by Venessa Bobb.

Cross overs with Pathological Demand Avoidance, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Reactive Attachment Disorder & Passive-aggressive Personality Disorder.

Additional Links

Autism & Exposure Anxiety By Donna Williams

PDA & EA Cross Over By Donna Williams

Paul Isaacs Personal Experience of Exposure Anxiety

Paul Isaacs 2020