Paul Isaacs' Blog

Autism from the inside


Leave a comment

Egotisms vs. “Developemtnal Egocentrisms” – Understanding “Other Through Self” In Autism

FB_IMG_1532880904017[1]

Note this is from a personal perspective

To be a egotist one must have a self-inflated sense of “self” (the ego) in which everything has to be about them, for them and with them you could construed this a narcissism and unhealthy relationship with ego and the ability to get “other” as necessary part of life. This doesn’t mean that people with autism cannot be egotists by the way.

Oxford Living Definition

1.1 Centred in or arising from a person’s own individual existence or perspective.

‘Egocentric spatial perception’

“Developmental” Egocentrism

This on the “surface” in its multiple forms see like the “same” if a  person taps on the surface this could be as so but what is the person is trying (unconsciously in some cases) to understand other?

Faceblindness and Mirrors

It took me years up to the age of 16 years to realise that the “friend” that followed me into the bathroom and public toilets was “me” I sought a lot of comfort from “him” as I stared into the mirror I wasn’t aware that it was “self” so I played with the “friend” pulling faces, gestures, expression contorting my features etc. Transfixed I would struggled to perceive that was in the mirror was behind “me” leaning the toward the mirror I would try to pick things out of it not understanding the concept of “mirror” is reflection one’s own physical form.

Meaning Deafness and Echolalia

I would have contradictory experience with being profoundly meaning deaf all around me was fragmented people making “soundscapes” to one another this would both intrigue, annoy and frightening me depending on the context, the people and the situation. Listening to jingles, TV shows and VHS’ was indirectly and opening for “other” I could follow the patterns of the program endlessly as they were in the end a linear form of repetition of sounds, colours and movements.

Visual perception and Making Connections

Being both meaning blind and object blind meant my visual world was redundant and I was only using up to 30 percent of information (taking into account visual perception is around 70 percent of information). I would “live” in a system of sensing (before typical interpretations and applied meaning) for connected experiences they had to come from other senses, touch, taste, smell and movement gave “life” to my physical environment. I would connect with “people” in a fragmented manner smell, touch, patterns of movement etc.

Using One’s Own “System”

I have no doubt in  reflection on my experiences that I have made progression in many areas however the point I am trying to make is the context of autism is that “developmental egocentric systems” in my case were used as “bridge” unconsciously or otherwise understand “other”. The internal struggle was the blockages developmentally and neurologically to extract my own though systems, interpretive systems and inner/outer dialogue of coherence at time where I could not get a shared “sense of social”.

Paul Isaacs 2018


2 Comments

Autism, Language Processing, Understanding, Expression, Retrieval & Echolalia

Bubbles

Finding words can be difficult in my younger years I had trouble with many aspects of language and what is was meant for – this can be seen in my early developmental history which shows that I had problems with both language processing, use of and retrieval.

Body and Brain

The body and brain are connected so if the “words” I found where gone this could well be to do with the brain and the body not “connecting” at the right time of expression this meant that either I would not speak at all (because of the movement of my tongue, jaw and mouth) or the words “disappeared” rendering me to say “rubbish” in the place of something which was meaningful to the person and/or peoples in questions.

The “Language Bottleneck”

As I got older developmentally there were still delays in speech input and output this meant that by the time I was 7/8 years old language output was that of a 3 three old both in content, trajectory and conversation there would also be times of stiltedness and apparent awkwardness in expression and of course frustration that the “blah” was not making sense and that sometimes my “blah” that came out it was like two ships in the night looking for each other but completely missing each other in terms of understanding, this was not either parties fault but the nature of the “language bottleneck” which meant I had many words “stored” and ready to say but when it come to expression could not get them out in their enteritis  the bottle neck could also be put into reverse when people “spoke” to me it was only a small bandwidth in which I could retrieve meaning and when I did that meant the process of expression had to start all over again.

Pronouns “Us”, “We”, “You”, “Me”

Even at nearly thirty I can get stuck on what these mean in time and context which they are meant I have problems with even the most basic an obvious tasks such as “can you put the oven on” this is being directed at me but I not processing the significance of what that means to me for a few seconds my Mum got my attention by saying “Paul can you put the oven on” this had a level of significance, yesterday evening I was watching a film my Mum said “I think she was dreaming” – I turned to Mum and said “who and what” (confusing the matters farther) she then directed me to the film I was watching the character in question.

Meaning Deafness

When my language systems “shutdown” I words begin to drop so a sentence could look like this “…….could………outside…………sho………an……….pi……..eys………….plea……….” this could go into sounds that means the words have reverted back developmentally to their place of origin before “meaning and contextual language was given” – when this happens I can echo surface information back at the person so that gives the illusion of “self” and “other” processing if you where to fine tune your observations you would realise at this point that is not happening and it reverts back to the “bottleneck”scenerio above.

Contextualisation

Helping me contextualise comes in

  1. Getting my attention (you are speaking to ME)
  2. Structure, content, context
  3. Gesture, tone (painting a picture)
  4. Objects of reference (mentalising)

 

Paul Isaacs 2016


Leave a comment

Autism & “Route” Expressive Language & Pattern, Theme & Feel Language (D.Williams)

Nan and I 1990s

 

OVERVIEW

EXPRESSIVE LANGUAGE

I was non-verbal for about 5 years, I had speech delay and language delay, oral apraxia and then I was pre-verbal and I gained “functional” expressive speech (of a three year old) between the ages 7/8. Before that I lived in a pattern, theme and feel (Donna Williams) with language creating sounds, movements to convey my emotions and communicate as well as touching and sculpting.

TYPICAL FUNCTIONAL EXPRESSIVE SPEECH “IS NOT MY NATIVE LANGUAGE”

Typical/functional speech is to me still not my native language, my native language is before typical interpretation and meaning – even now this is still the case this is do with many factors.

CONCLUSION

I have learnt to use functional language as a route pathway and cross-over for people who process typical interpretive expressive  and receptive language. much like refined echolalia. 🙂 I still live in a word before typical interpretation. 🙂

Paul Isaacs 2014


1 Comment

What are those Sounds From Your Mouth? – Autism & Language Auditory Agnosia Autism Fruit Salad D. Williams Explained Part 7

OVERVIEW

Personal account of Language/Verbal Auditory Agnosia. 🙂

Enjoy. 🙂

Using Donna Williams Fruit Salad Analogy (1995/2005)

Paul Isaacs Adult with Autism 2014