Paul Isaacs' Blog

Autism from the inside


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Autism, Language Processing, Understanding, Expression, Retrieval & Echolalia

Bubbles

Finding words can be difficult in my younger years I had trouble with many aspects of language and what is was meant for – this can be seen in my early developmental history which shows that I had problems with both language processing, use of and retrieval.

Body and Brain

The body and brain are connected so if the “words” I found where gone this could well be to do with the brain and the body not “connecting” at the right time of expression this meant that either I would not speak at all (because of the movement of my tongue, jaw and mouth) or the words “disappeared” rendering me to say “rubbish” in the place of something which was meaningful to the person and/or peoples in questions.

The “Language Bottleneck”

As I got older developmentally there were still delays in speech input and output this meant that by the time I was 7/8 years old language output was that of a 3 three old both in content, trajectory and conversation there would also be times of stiltedness and apparent awkwardness in expression and of course frustration that the “blah” was not making sense and that sometimes my “blah” that came out it was like two ships in the night looking for each other but completely missing each other in terms of understanding, this was not either parties fault but the nature of the “language bottleneck” which meant I had many words “stored” and ready to say but when it come to expression could not get them out in their enteritis  the bottle neck could also be put into reverse when people “spoke” to me it was only a small bandwidth in which I could retrieve meaning and when I did that meant the process of expression had to start all over again.

Pronouns “Us”, “We”, “You”, “Me”

Even at nearly thirty I can get stuck on what these mean in time and context which they are meant I have problems with even the most basic an obvious tasks such as “can you put the oven on” this is being directed at me but I not processing the significance of what that means to me for a few seconds my Mum got my attention by saying “Paul can you put the oven on” this had a level of significance, yesterday evening I was watching a film my Mum said “I think she was dreaming” – I turned to Mum and said “who and what” (confusing the matters farther) she then directed me to the film I was watching the character in question.

Meaning Deafness

When my language systems “shutdown” I words begin to drop so a sentence could look like this “…….could………outside…………sho………an……….pi……..eys………….plea……….” this could go into sounds that means the words have reverted back developmentally to their place of origin before “meaning and contextual language was given” – when this happens I can echo surface information back at the person so that gives the illusion of “self” and “other” processing if you where to fine tune your observations you would realise at this point that is not happening and it reverts back to the “bottleneck”scenerio above.

Contextualisation

Helping me contextualise comes in

  1. Getting my attention (you are speaking to ME)
  2. Structure, content, context
  3. Gesture, tone (painting a picture)
  4. Objects of reference (mentalising)

 

Paul Isaacs 2016

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Not All People With Autism Are Logical Or Literal In Thought Or Presentation

20160730_102005 (2)Note This is from a personal perspective 

What Autism IS and ISN’T

Looking at the broaden the aspects of presentation in autism it is about understanding what autism is and just as importantly what it isn’t.

It isn’t is a generic stacking of black and white linear symptoms that present in every person in the same way, what it is is a stacking of conditions that are specific and personal to the individual.

The Hidden Strands Of Information

I can of course be logical that is natural human variant of thought and has nothing to do with autism (and also various personality types will overlap with overall presentation), however  I struggle with intense over a analytical  logical decoding of a situation as it is happening that leaves many things up in the air for me.

Such as emotional perception, (not knowing my bodies own reactions to the the incoming information) receptive and expressive language (word formation, extraction, relevance, understanding), lack of visual association (no pictures for words), information processing delays (incoming information not being “sorted” quickly enough to be “understood”).

Taking Things To Heart? 

As a child more prominently and now as adult the residual issues are still there such as not seeing the significance of what is being said this is before the literal. 

That means I am less likely to take things on a personal level even if I am being spoken too in a personal way.

I was asked what I thought the main different feature was between Autism and Asperger’s. I think you’ll maybe find in reading through the site on brain hemisphere specialisation that there are many Aspies who may be better at left brain stuff and many Auties who may be more right brain but not nearly recognised for the abilities they do have as much as they are recognised for the left-brain abilities they don’t have.

© Donna Williams

Introspection & External Mentalisation

I use my senses and introspection to “decode” things and sort them out from there, I don’t have pictures in my head sorting things out I have to do the reverse I have to get everything out FIRST by doing, gesture, tone, inference, movement and then go from there.

I struggle to mentalise plans so I just “do” this means that on a unconscious level I sort things out with no conscious thought at the time. When I wrote my first book I just typed and typed and typed with the basic premise being it is a book about my life.

However I am sure there are people in the world who are not on the autism spectrum who can relate this. I have of course  “non-autistic” moments of clarity for me just as there will be “autistic” moments for people off the spectrum.

Paul Isaacs 2016


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Autism & Visual Perceptional Disorders – Radio Interview “Reinventing The Illusion Of Vision” with Lawrence Bull

Overview

Last week I had the please of being interviewed by Lawrence Bull and radio presenter in  Australia of Think Digital Futures: Stories Of The Digital Age.

In this interview I cover from a personal perspective –

    • My developmental trajectory
    • My experiences of language development
    • My experiences of visual perceptual disorders
    • My experiences of not being a visual thinker
    • My experiences of tinted lenses
    • My views on autism and autism politics

Paul Isaacs 2016

 

 


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Bucks Autism Conference Video 2015

Note – These are from personal and obervational perspectives

Sensory Issues in the context of Autism Bucks Autism Conference

This video is about covers these topics

 

Paul Isaacs 2015

 

 

 


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Autism, Dissociation, Exposure Anxiety & Understanding Criticism

Paul Long Crendon1OVERVIEW

This is from my Personal Perspective of Autism, Dissociation &  Exposure Anxiety 

AUTISM AND PROCESSING 

During my younger years I was in mainstream education despite having obvious early signs of Autism speech  and language delay. receptive and expressive language processing  issues my Autism wasn’t recognised until adulthood.

PRIMARY SCHOOL AND EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS

During my Primary School years after I gained functional speech between the ages 7/8 years old so this was between 1993 and 1994 (I had the expressive language of a 3 year old and poor receptive language) I was subjected to heavy bouts of criticism and bullying – I now understand that was done in a unprofessional and unproductive manner the headteacher at school had one to one meetings with me during this time (with no mentor or advocate) telling me all my faults, mishaps, wrong behaviours and problems with me.

DISSOCIATION, EXPOSURE ANXIETY AND PRIMARY SCHOOL 

For me this was too much exposure of self (something Donna Williams talks about Exposure Anxiety) I had a lack of awareness of “self” and “other” so I dissociated creating a “persona” to deal and cope with the barrage of information this “persona” would deal with this conflict because “I” couldn’t. This went on up until the last year of school different teachers comment either to me or to my parents about my “odd” behaviour.

When I was referred to child and adolescent  mental health services (CAMHS)  in 1996 during my last year of school I was suffering from a “nervous throat” and childhood depression in the meetings I was to explain about why a particular teacher was bullying me this caused me to created another “persona” to deal with situation the exposure of self and the the information processing was too much however I tried my best to give her the information.

POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER AND SEXUAL ABUSE AT SECONDARY SCHOOL 

Until very recently I have to process and come to terms with PTSD with regards to an incident that happened at secondary school which resulted in sexual abuse through flashbacks and intrusive nightmares  (this is all I can disclose because of personal reasons), I have know doubt this has subconsciously had an affect on my self-worth, identity but I have come through this rather well and will continue to not be seen as an “object” or “thing”.

CRITICISM – IT IS NEEDED

Now we come full circle I know that my negative exposure to extreme criticism during my educational years has had an affect on what I subconsciously associate with what criticism is

In my head I like and want to be challenged criticised as it is needed for all human beings it is about

  • Give and take
  • Other peoples views (not just you own)
  • Validity for all
  • Equality for all
  • Fairness for all

DISSOCIATION & NEGATIVE ASSOCIATION 

However “my body, face and mouth” don’t seem to connect with my “head” and I dissociate quickly with the “persona ” that created over ten years ago to deal with the perceived attack (PTSD). My Mum says my face changes so do my eyes. This doesn’t however mean I’m not challenged this would be a great problem the reality of this is needed for all people really.

HOW I COPE WITH THIS

Firstly recognising where it comes from and for me personally and staying true what is my “head”  is saying I like and want to be challenged criticised as it is needed for all human beings it is about give and take, other people’s views (not just you own), validity, equality and fairness and in turn dealing with therapy on how to cope with dissociation and what my body is doing and feeling like my consciousness is taking step backwards. By understanding this I can move and take a step forwards in a positive and productive manner. 🙂

AUTISM & DISSOCIATION PAGE

DONNA WILLIAMS’ DISSOCIATION PAGE

AUTISM & DISSOCIATION BLOG 

PTSD

THOUSAND YARD STARE

 

Everybody voice deserves to heard 🙂 Everybody deserves to challenged  in a productive manner too. 🙂 

 

Paul Isaacs  2014

 

 

 


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Autism, Auditory Agnosias, Words With No Pictures & Sounds With No Meaning

OVERVIEW

Note – All of People on the Autism Spectrum are Different this is topics that may relate to some people on the spectrum

Some people on Autism Spectrum have Auditory Agnosias as apart of their Autism this means they “hear” but don’t process with meaning, my Mum thought I was deaf as a child but is was to do with Auditory Processing.

I hope this helps others

1. A person Repeating sounds (DVDs, TV shows, Music etc) Phonic play, sensory play could be to do with this repeating sounds over and over to try to gain meaning, context and understanding.
2. May not respond when long litanies of verbal information is said to them – They have heard a lot of “sounds” rather than words and this may mean that you need to break down the information into smaller chunks.
3. Jumps at sounds in environment – If they don’t understand the origins of the sound tell them (using their communication profile) what is and where it is coming from.
4. Making up their own words for things, people, objects etc (pattern, theme and feel D.Williams) – If you live in world where language is jumbled to a high degree it would make sense that they may have their own words for things – I remember one person on the spectrum would call a type of biscuit “Maky” and a Yogurt “Yoshoo” some may replicate feelings of joy by making noises to reflect that (something that I still do when I stim).

Paul Isaacs 2014