Paul Isaacs' Blog

Autism from the inside


In The Last Ten Years

Looking Back

The last ten years have been very intersting in 2009 I was recently out of the Mental Health Services with two personality disorders, auditory hallucinations and psychosis, I was self harming and attempted suicide.

Early Infancy

By clinical observations I was serverely autistic, I was profoundly meaning deaf, meaning blind, body disconnected, oral apraxic and didn’t gain functional speech till later in infancy. I was and am thankful to my parents who had no means of any interventions (in the late 80s many were dated).

In 2010 I was diagnosed with autism and OCD and my speaking career started off in which I went freelance in 2015.

“Standards of Success”

By “non-autistic” standards I “made it” in many ways I suppose. I was considered “retarded” by the village I lived in and was targeted and bullied by the children and adults till my mid-teens.

Education

I was targeted and bullied at school from primary to secondary when I finally left in 2002 (with an isolated incident of sexual abuse) in the latter.

I went on to do an ICT coursecfor a year and had the greatest experience of my life from and educational perspective it proved I could be educated.

Bullying and Employment

The bullying in employment started in 2002/3 so multiple jobs were lost and gained.

I was thankful to the autism base in Chinnor in around 2008/9 for supporting me as well as the start of my speaking career in 2010. Over that period of time I wrote and authored 5 books.

The bullying in employment stopped in 2015 when I went freelance and started working for My World.

This is longest time in employment that I have been safe, comfortable and seen as a part of the team.

I Am A Person-First

People wonder why I use “person-first language” this is why because I do not want to be defined by a “label”. I do not like serperatist “them and us, us and them” rhetoric we (as beings) are all a part of the human race

From 2013 onwards to now I am pleased to have met some of the most wonderful and friendly people in both my personal and professional life.

Love and Life

I lost my Gramp in March 2017 due to metatastic prostate cancer, one of my dearest friends and mentors Polly (Donna Williams) in April that year also to metatastic breast cancer and my Nan in December 2019 due to pneumonia. I shall always cherish my fondest memories of them.

I almost lost my Dad in 2011 due to chronic lymphocytic leukemia and then meningitis in 2018 as well as my Mum in May 2019 due to a complex thrombotic disease.

Creative Mindsets

I have had great fun dabbling in art, poetry and what I call “insta-modelling” in which to my surprise and support from my friends up north has been rather enjoyable!

I have been interested in androgyny for many years prior and have been told I look as such.

One of things I can do well is pluck my eyebrows which I consider an achievement as much as anything else! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Conclusion

So look beyond what is here, look beyond what is heard, what is seen, what is touched and sense people because every cherished little person is special and of equal valor and humility in this world.

Paul Isaacs 2020


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In The End We Are ALL Human Beings & That Is Fine

To stay grounded and not get whipped up be the construct of “other” through “fame” – to be seen as a “being” that is on an equal plane is far more rewarding, beneficial socially, emotional binding empowering. People are after all are people and one is no better nor worse than anybody else be yourself.

Then maybe we would live in more selfless (rather than selfish) society.

Paul Isaacs 2015


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Up and Onwards – Finding Balance

THANK YOU

Thank you for all your comments and shares of my poems. I have decided not to over-invest in the autism “culture” or politics anymore.

I will STILL continue to blog, present speeches, present training and advocate about autism BUT in balanced & neutral manner (in terms of NOT over-investing content wise, politics and “culture” wise and invest in personal time and so forth) this means that I will mentally be in balanced place. I am human being and to all of you I say to parents and people on spectrum (The Whole Spectrum) you are people fiMe Toddlerrst. ๐Ÿ™‚

I am a writer, poet and an artist I say those are things worthy of pursuing. ๐Ÿ™‚

I have stated in my opinions and listened to others that is great . My view still is we are all human and can learn from each other and in the context of autism that still applies no one person is the same, no one person can speak for all, but one can talk about their reality and if it helps someone great and if it doesn’t? Well that’s great too we learn from others not just ourselves. ๐Ÿ™‚

Paul Isaacs 2015


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Person First Language – Why It Is Of Value For Me

Premature 1

Why I am A Person With Autism

Born a person first a little human being

Little “Paul” is what people were seeing

As I grew my personhood shone. so freeing

Something that all people are being.

My Autism is apart of me it doesn’t define the whole

I want be seen as more a noble quest my ultimate goal

Not everything is about my “condition” that takes its toll

Open your eyes ever look deeper into my soul

I am an artist I like to draw – my quirky imagination sores

I am a poet I like to write – my words are given clarity and flight

My speech, vision and language are at times fragmented

But this doesn’t mean I am eternally demented

See the person, their eager smile be with them for but a while

Likes and dislikes, wants and the needs these are but human deeds

I want people with open eyes too see I know that path fills with glee

That it is one’s personhood that connects you and me

Paul Isaacs 2015


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In The Autism World It Is Always Best To Remember You Are A Person

Paul Big LegsI Am Sorry But I Must Say Something

The “culture” I was told that would support me
It doesn’t it has brought me sadness, it has made me shackled
It has not “set me free” I want to live a simple life
Where people are equal for that very reason with strife

Arguments a plunder my heart sinks and my nerves crack like thunder
As I feel my self esteem pulled down into the depths of the under
I ponder to myself what is it all about? Can’t people get along
Not one scream and not one shout, echoes all about

No more I say – I have given it my all I can be the person I was
His name was “Paul” and that is the some of it all
Hold hands and hearts and rejoice for we are not all one voice
But many are unsung, drowned out and ignored not the people’s choice

My heart fills with sunshine when I know that being here is no plight
Real friends and family give me my real joy, no more fights
A family member told me tenderly remember who you are that set me free
An onward path of freedom, hope and reflective clarity

Conclusionย 

Thank you to you all I have decided not to over-invest in the autism “culture” or politics anymore. I have stated my opinions and listened to others that is great . My view still is we are all human and can learn from each other and in the context of autism that still applies no one person is the same, no one person can speak for all, but one can talk about their reality and if it helps someone great and if it something you cannot relate too or don’t experiences equally great. ๐Ÿ™‚

Paul Isaacs 2015


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Egalitarianism & Equalism – Is That The Way Forward For Autism?

Egalitarian doctrines maintain that all humans are equal in fundamental worth or social status”

Cambian Event 2014 12

Everyone Is Precious & Equal

In the context of the autism world (and my outlook in general) this is where I stand equality is for everyone, everybody who is in this world.

I look at both sides of the the coin and take into account peoples realities (that makes me neutral/moderate/in the middle) that means that you look in a more three dimensional perspective of peoples diverse realities you cannot speak for all but one can learn from EACH OTHER through listening, experiencing and connecting. That is what is needed in this world kindness and empathy and accepting other people’s views.
That means the inclusion of

  • Parents/Carers/Guardians
  • All Experiences On The Spectrum (The Whole Spectrum)
  • Professionals In The Field Of Autism (Psychologists, Psychiatrists, Neurologists, Biologists etc)
  • Social Support Services
  • Educational Services
  • Housing Services
  • And Many More

Militancy & Extremism & Is Not Equality

No it isn’t is is quite the reverse it subjects people, suppresses them into a forced mode of thought and/or perception this means that voices potentially get lost in the process making people feel if they don’t go along with this – they are out of the “club”, lonely or worse. All views are of equal valor in the context. They should not violent, immature of disrespectful to someones character – all views even in disagreement can be acknowledged and politely disagreed with. This is why I am not a “culturist” or an “curist” but I believe in a balanced manner both sides have the right to their views it is in the way that they’re expressed and what is behind them.

DONNA WILLIAMS BLOG – AUTISM POLITICS

MANUEL CASANOVA – NEURODIVERSITY

Person with Autism

I also try my best to live with the good cards I was given not over-investing in my autism being the defining factor of my being (but having a healthy acknowledgment of it that it’s there) but also thinking about other qualities I have such as being a writer, poet and artist – I do have disability, I do have autism and I have a “mild” learning disability that is true but I am a human being first and foremost. And for someone to be seen as person equal to everyone else is a basic human right for anyone.

Social Equality – It’s for Everyone

Accepting experiences is through the understanding that everybody was born equal, no labels, no social status, no preconceptions just born a little person preparing to grow-up on what ever path is grown from development, environment and/or otherwise everybody has the right to have a roof over their head, three meals a day, a wage/payment which can support themselves and their families, a benefit system that cares for the disabled and people with mental illnesses, a government that looks out for all it’s people, wars quenched not and man made barriers be fallen so every person knows the commonality of being human is that everybody is all different and let people be novices to other peoples experiences so another person gains anew. People all deserve the right to be equal.

Paul Isaacs 2014


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In The End We Are All Human

Emperor_RotJ

The Emperor – A Symbol Of Narcissism

We Are All Human

One should never claim ownership other another – what binds us is that we are all human (we all have realities that are of equal worth and importance) – to strive is to help not hate, nurture not damage, build up not break-down, live free not be shackled by your own thinking and forced into another ways thinking – I wish we could all respect each other much more the world would be a much kinder place.

Why the video? This video to me states many things – narcissism, narcissistic object (the emperor sees both Vader and Luke as “tools”), social and symbolical manipulation, sociopathy and psychopathy and this sort of behaviour that causes relationships to break down, mental illness and isolation. Remember one thing we are are all human and that we are all equal none are above to many man-made barriers are made “them and us”, prejudice, reverse prejudice and so forth lets start off on a clean slate of being all equal and acknowledging all realities.

The Emperor – Star Wars

The Narcissist Will In End Only Think Of Him/Herself

The narcissist internalizes these pliable representations, manipulates them, and interacts with them – not with the originals. The narcissist is entirely immersed in his world, talking to these “figurines”, arguing with these substitutes, contracting with these surrogates, being admired by them.

Hence his dismay when confronted with real people, their needs, feelings, preferences, and choices.

From “The Narcissist’s Object Constancy” By Dr Sam Vakin
Egalitarianism

I believe everyone is equal that means that no one is above anyone else in any context.

Paul Isaacs 2015