Paul Isaacs' Blog

Autism from the inside


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What is Achievement?

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Do you judge achievement by the vastness of comparisons or by the person cantered nature of what has been achieved? I have not married nor have I the desired to have children. I ask how is my life welling up with fullness and ethereal walkings amongst the populous of humanity? Because I am comfortable in the roads, paths and darkly forests that tread beneath my feet. I think “achievement” is not what, if or how it’s the reason and honest virtues behind them that make them special and worthy.

Paul Isaacs 2017

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Autism As A Describer Not a Definer – Combating “Label Lust” and “Overidentification”

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I have been an autism and advocate for over seven years I have seen many autism “fruit salads” in my time some people with auto-immune problems, other with complex mental health issues, others who see their autism as a curse, others who see their autism as special and unique, others who identify as their whole being as “autistic” others who don’t. I have seen militancy and anger towards people who go against old rhetoric who propose realism as opposed to glamorisation, people should allowed to give their own perspective from different angles, perspectives and offering multiple realities. 

Differing Profiles

With all the the “pieces” I describe in my training sessions and/or presentations are “describing” words the reality for that person will differ from “piece to piece” however that “piece” will have its own name and describing it allows the people understand a fragment of it albeit from a personal and/or observational perspective. Its hard to get the balance right but it is worth it.

Definition vs Describing vs Identification 

It isn’t defining people by the labels offered which is from an educational, resource perspective and even a self-reflective perspective. It is offering a window of what could be going on. I am not the speaker for all (never have been) but I put the questions out there.

 

Human Beings First

If we (as human beings) all defined ourselves by a set of labels it would be rather reductive and in reality a real shame. At the end of my sessions I offer a reality that despite the differing levels of “pieces” and/or disability  they are not defined by  their condition, they are human beings first like everyone else.

Paul Isaacs 2017

 


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I Am Glad I Got Bullied And Here’s Why

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Note this is from a personal perspective 

I was speaking with two friends this evening and the subject of school-life came up it was an interesting exercise in subjectivity, objectivity and personal experiences shaping people’s lives but not defining them as we all move on.

My friend respectfully and realistically pointed out the fact that when students are at school (regardless of disability or otherwise) they are on their own unique journeys and difficulties can arise from all sorts of areas which have an impact of self-esteem, confidence and the ability to thrive on a functional level.

Enviroment vs. Social-Emotional Development

I was diagnosed late after my mainstream education had finished the best foundation for “social” I was given was through my tenure in education. It gave me the ability to cope with stressful situations, integrate and overall gave me the invaluable skills of living a “human life” rather than a “autistic life”. I was around people and my disability was not being flag waved to the point where I lost myself and was only defined by one single factor.

Is Bullying/Psychopathy Normal in Educational Settings?

I was surrounded by people who used interpretive speech. I still find this mode of speaking difficult and it is something I have aqquired a long the way in the context of school yes that was true. I cannot deny the verbal and at times physical abuse I encountered at school by other students on a daily basis as ‘normal‘ as their conscious psychothapy and narcissism was allowed run free regardless of the emotional damage that ensued.

Yes it is subjective and many of the students that bullied were emotionally insucure however being so doesn’t give you a free ticket to do it to others, however they did. I see this as a learning curve and lessons in life and I am thankful to learn from the shit and make sculptures out of it. 🙂

They may have changed which is great, found families, bared children etc I wish them well on their journeys.

Human Journeys

We (as people) are all on our journeys and bullying and victimisation was part of my experience however many others have been in the similar situations and I refuse to define my present situation by the past experiences. I am indifferent and objective about my past it happened and I am done with the “what could have beens” and “what ifs” I am thankful for my overall experience I would not have had it any other way.

I consider my reality no better or worse than any others, I don’t consider myself “special”, “better” and/or “superior” to anyone else. Affirmation has to be contextual and real not dished out like candy with hollow self-praise. There are too many people in the western world who just want their cake and to eat it all if only it was to shared out a bit more so other people’s realities could be shared and equally acknowledged with the sub-test of mine is better/worse than yours.

Tides of Glory 

I strayed and came about

Eager to scream and longing to shout

I have travelled a life which has been painted

I refuse to see my deepest memories as tainted

Come up and down and my thoughts fleeting around

I pick my body and ground my mind with the comfort of sound

A cloud full memories embraced and feetful of walking to be chased

A human being am I no better nor worse living a madless time at even pace

Paul Isaacs 2017

 

 


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Autism “Culture”, The Word “NT” and Militancy

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If people are representing one has to think about is it for other people? Self-service? Advocacy? Empowerment? Information sharing? 

Militancy Is it “Normal”?

If militancy is perceived as the norm then who is that actuality helping? Assisting? Or otherwise is this the new phase that becomes relevant before it becomes redundant and passe?

The leader of their group replied in a tone lacking in warmth, ‘it would have been better without any NTs present‘. The others chimed in in support of him. Alienated, I left them to it.

Later when they were buddying up with more of the same separatist rhetoric and there was a tone to it that sat uncomfortably with me, a tone I’d heard before, in hierarchical non-autie children in playgrounds once upon a time (where I’d also known nice ones).

I had to let this group know that I simply don’t do bigotry… that my non-autie friends are not typical, mundane, boring or expendable and that I refuse to use any derogatory term that hints they are such, such as ‘NT‘.

As you can imagine, they were quite taken aback. I was meant to ‘understand’. I was meant to be ‘one of them’. But if ‘one of them’ meant I was meant to hang out in a group and dislike or disrespect another group, and share this as ‘belonging’ and ‘shared culture’ and ‘shared understanding’ then this wasn’t ‘me’.

Donna Williams

If this is the case what example is being set? By noting ones perceived superiority or “specialism” over others is still bigotry, separatism and creates more waves of the old “them and us” which doesn’t represent inclusion, empowerment, reality-sharing or otherwise. Which burns bridges more bridges than it claims to build.

The Word “NT” It Isn’t Helpful

I have come to believe that the word “NT” is not only unhelpful  and has been projected in such a way that would imply that other people who fit this “label” are “typical” therefore one could perceive that word as “boring”. I find this not only hypocritical but also a mystery because in truth there is no such thing as a “neurotypical”.

Autism “Culturism and Militancy”

The English word militant is both an adjective and a noun, and is usually used to mean vigorously active, combative and aggressive, especially in support of a cause

One cannot cherry pick what autism is and isn’t as a shared collective that is same for everybody in the truth autism in its presentation and reality is different for each person so in order to advocate and empower you have to be aware that the only reality you can share is your own and be humble and conscious enough to say that. To allow other people’s realities to relevant you cannot speak for all, to empower you cannot project “reality sameness”  because no human being is the same.

No One Should Be Defined As One “Label”

Can anybody be defined by one factor? Can anybody describe themselves in one word? I do not define myself by my “autism” it is certainly apart me but it isn’t the driving factor at all. When I was born I was born a human being and all that comes with it I live as a human being. There is much to be said about in the end being emotionally grounded, considerate and realistic.

Egalitarianism – The Way Forward

Egalitarianism (from French égal, meaning ‘equal’) – or equalitarianism[1][2] – is a trend of thought that favors equality for all people.[3]Egalitarian doctrines maintain that all humans are equal in fundamental worth or social status,

My wish is that in order for this to work people must consider all realities, perspectives, opinions and input in a constructive manner that is overall beneficial.

Paul Isaacs 2017

 

 


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To Friends for Friends What is Happiness? :-)

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 This is sage works, thoughts and feelings from social media when I said about doing a blog about “What is Happiness?” I am pleased with the diverse and really lovely responses. 🙂

  • being understood by people
  • Happiness is what you make of your life and live it to the whole without
  • Happiness is fleeting
  • Joy
  • Happiness for me is seeing my children happy – x
  • I think he’s writing in the broader sense x
  • Happiness is my aspergers. [13 year old] son making me a fan from parts he savaged from dead DVD / equipment and lego – powered by USB and a solar panel to help me with my [menopause] hot flushes.
  • Happiness is walking around with a clear head, able to observe and enjoy the surroundings without anxiety.
  • Or eating a different food 🙂 x
  • Still seeing my little one even though I’m away visiting my Mum who’s 300 miles away.
  • Seeing my amazing son grow from being an angry, confused boy who struggled with ‘the world’ into an ever growing confident , young man with so much to look forward to 💙
  • Happiness is my dog x
  • A fleeting feeling when things are going well. All the more potent when it arrives unexpectedly 😊
  • All of my children bring happiness to me. I am so proud of who they are. I am also happy when my baby makes progress.
  • Happiness is being relaxed, safe and challenged in an enjoyable way.
  • GBU
  • Happiness to me is enjoying the moment without stress or fear but feeling completely at one with the world and relaxed . Its a strong rich feeling making life feel good when you experience it. X
  • Happiness is making a genuine difference through collaborative and creative autism awareness workshops. Nobody wins unless everybody wins 🙂 Hope to see you at one of your future talks, Paul. Best Wishes
  • Happiness is our son being happy. (We only have one child) 😊
  • Doing something I enjoy doing!
  • For me, I think there are very different sorts of happiness. Perhaps the most intense is being aware that someone I love is happy; if it is because of me, that’s even better. Another is feeling that I have done a good job intellectually in some way and increased the sum total of human knowledge. Another is the great feeling of physical well-being that endorphins give you after you’ve been exercising. I climb whenever I can, partly because it is great fun in itself and partly because whatever stresses and anxieties are bugging my life, I feel great once I’ve worn myself out doing it. These are all very important to me.
  • Happiness happens when i’m alone. Its like my brain gets some high by being alone
  • Happiness is being fulfilled. I don’t think the pursuit of happiness is very helpful in itself but the pursuit of being fulfilled..? That’s a slightly different goal but changes entirely how you look at life!
  • Happiness to me isn’t a result of anything, despite its arrival often being influenced by certain things or thoughts or thoughts of things – it is the glowy thing, that glowy thing within, and when it glows inside me, it beams around my bodymask making everything else seem more glowy than usual, and it can be passed around and shared like a flowy magnetic glitter-ocean, though can also be snatched and disappeared at an instant by the click of the claws of a happy-snatching monster.
  • Happiness for me, is…
    As a mum: To see my children achieve even the smallest thing independently. For my boy with autism, especially, when he’s made an independent decision, and when he chooses to hug me and show love. For my NT girl, hearing her laugh big and loud with her friends; watching her dance and hearing her sing.
  • As a professional: Feeling productive and part of a process to produce something worthwhile. Being individual but within a team.
  • As an autism volunteer: When a parent tells me that they no longer feel alone; seeing parents’ reactions when their children reach out to another child or young person and socialise for the first time at Parents Talking Asperger’s.
  • As a friend: Being there for friends whatever in good times and bad.
  • As daughter: Just being with my beloved parents even for five minutes.
  • As a Christian: Learning to be what God wants me to be to serve him and help others. Thanks Paul.
  • to me happiness is knowing that I have the resources to deal with whatever comes up. Not much to ask hey? X
  • You can choose happiness no matter what is going on around you. Happiness isn’t just being content – God gives us the opportunity to see good in all by allowing happiness. But it is a choice.
  • I’ve come to realised that for me, happiness is acceptance of the journey. 😁
  • Easy company with the people I love who are wholly accepting of who I am. X
  • Sitting outside with family and friends during a breezy day. And having a bon fire at night.

Paul Isaacs and many contributors 2016


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Being Thankful For My Parents

Mum and Dad Early 80s

Please note this is from a personal perspective

It may sound like a cliche in many ways to create a blog with a title such as “Thankful for my parents”  but that is how I feel I know that many people may not for many reasons feel the same as me and that is fine.

I am thankful for them because they  have given me good boundaries, have treated me as a human being then growing up as an infant, teenager and now as an adult, they do not let my disability “define the whole package” (I have written many a blog about that subject), guided me to know that failure and being wrong is normal part of life, to accept and take responsibility for both positive and negative actions, to help people who need it, to always be truthful and be true to yourselves.

I value their sage wisdom as many of these “mantras” and “life skills” come from past mistakes and “failures” but as my parents have noted failures are the fruits of success and success comes in many different forms as example setters for us all.

Paul Isaacs 2016

 


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Negative and Positive Self-Perception – It is More Than Just Placement?

I will set the scene

IMAG0276Imaging going into the a room what do you take into that room? Your body? Your soul? Your mind? In many ways you take everything in to that space not the other way round (although at times it feels like it).

The room itself is a “thing” with “things” it no people just you.

One day you go into the room and you feel low, depressed and unsure of yourself the ground and foundations are shaky and/or non-existent the room perpetually “feels” different.

The next day you are feeling happy, with high spirits, feeling good and positive your mind is clear and you foundations are firm within your mind the room again “feels” different.

In reality the room never changed nor the things in it but you did – the power of the mind is so powerful it can effect the inner perceptions the surrounding you are in I find that to be both amazing potentially terrifying at the same time.

One thing is for you sure when in doubt how ever hard it is to reach, however long it takes remember you are in control.

Paul Isaacs 2015