Here is an interesting observation, many people who bullied me at school and during my time in education I have heard have always said they “observed” the acts never instigated implying overtly they were witness’ not people to take part in the act.
Let’s be frank you did on a daily basis commenting on my appearance.
- How I talked
- How I walked
- My weight
- My lack of friends
- My lack of intelligence
- My emotions
- My parents, my grandparents
- My social status.
This would happen at class, during breaks/lunchtime, waiting for transport home/during transport and at the place were I live from the ages of 5 to 16 years old.
This also included parents and teachers.
However just because I have made conscious and dedicated effort to see and take the good out of your actions, to not let them define me, to not be bitter or hold on to reductive actions of revenge or futile bitterness of the past that doesn’t not mean your acts were correct.
I can be objective and say it was your homelife, your sense of unfulfilment socially and/or academically, clashing of personality, the chemical imbalances that come with teenagehood, the peer pressure etc.
To which is true, however in terms of projection and hurt you flung on me was vile, cruel and cowardly you made me feel worthless and at multiple times I wanted to not live.
Bullying isn’t a “normal” part of growing up, it isn’t a right of passage, it isn’t a phase and the word itself trivialises the actions which is, psychological and/or physical abuse and projected trauma onto another human being.
I thank you for bestowing these actions on me because you gave me a framework how not to treat people, I understand a lot of you have families and children.
I hope you have matured and changed as you have grown and I sincerely wish your young one’s do not go through what I went through.
I refuse to be a victim of the past, for I do not want it to live in my future.
Paul Isaacs 2020