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Autism from the inside


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Autism, Processing Emotions & Alexithymia

autism-and-alexithymia-image-2017

Note this is from a personal perspective 

Alexithymia is a condition in which person cannot find words to express inner emotional feelings, now this doesn’t mean that the person is devoid or lacking in emotion however it can from a outside perspective look like that despite the inner mechanics being quite different.

FILTERING THROUGH EMOTIONS 

I shall give you a personal account of this and look at other potential factors. I have a processing and recognition delay of emotion feelings in the context of the event that has happened – in other words from the time the event has happened to the time I get a self response is delayed this can come in the form of

  • Words for the the bodily messages that I am feeling 
  • Being able to piece the situation together from a emotional standpoint
  • Talking and having a conversation about a situation that in real-time has long since past
  • Having raw emotions that through time, experience, awareness and age I am able to better filter them

As a teenager I would harm myself when these raw emotions would take hold like attacking one’s self for their own emotions because the person in question hasn’t yet pieced together they are coming from themselves this to me a that point in time a a paradox but a worthy one to working through.

OTHER FACTORS THAT COULD BE INVOLVED

Other factors would depend on the person’s autism profile and fruit salad that would have an impact on the presentation of alexithymia such as

  • Visual perceptual disorders and not having a visual memory to process people, situations, words and mentalise thoughts.
  • Language processing disorders such as aphasia and verbal auditory agnosia needing time to find and extract words that have inner meaning to the person.
  • Body disconnectivity and not sensing or perceiving their own bodily messages
  • Diet and food intolerances are undiagnosed food intolerances having an impact on their functioning?

Paul Isaacs 2017

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Alexithymia, Somatisation Disorder, Emotional Regulation & the Loss of a Dog

Sometimes words cannot express in times the grief those thoughts, feelings and wants that you had for a loved one once they have passed on. This is from a personal perspective.

Emotions within “the self”

Being aware that such an emotion exists within at all can be difficult to decode and grasp in the end interpret within the context of its own reality and within its own significance one can witness and event that was seen to happening and not “connect” with it in a way which feels that is “correct” , “just” and “suitable” to me that is fine I understand why this happens within my “internal” self this is a road that I cross with not being able to “filter” or “interpret” my emotional states in “real time” or course one would expect a level of delay in such circumstances – but over many years I have noticed patterns my own behaviour that manifest during these times of grief.

Alexithymia and “emotional perception”

In my first book I document times of emotional perceptual difficulty either displaying an emotion and not connecting its own context or significance (such as crying from an emotive reason for example but not “naming” the reason or reasons behind it) or having delayed emotional perception which means a situation could be happening on a constant basis and it could take me years to filter how “I” felt about it like a wave of raw emotion hitting me all at once, in my teenager years I feel as if being “attacked” by my own emotions hitting my arms and legs, tensing my face and knuckling the temples of my head.

Emotional regulation

Regulating ones mood I have found to be difficult because the “origin” or “starting point “may take to time to be seen, understood and processed within the significance of the “self” and then the “other” (if other specific parties are involved) this loop once stared may well be overwhelming so the filtering starts on a difficult level now understanding and significance come into play.

Somatisation disorder

DSM-IV-TR
The DSM-IV-TR diagnostic criteria are:
• A history of somatic complaints over several years, starting prior to the age of 30.
• Such symptoms cannot be fully explained by a general medical condition or substance use OR, when there is an associated medical condition, the impairments due to the somatic symptoms are more severe than generally expected.
• Complaints are not feigned as in malingering or factitious disorder.

This has manifested itself in many different forms over the years it could be a headache, stomach ache, back pain, limb tenderness the list goes on but it seems to have running theme within my “decoding of emotions” with the death of my dog recently I started to have what I perceived as a toothache this pain last for well over three months (have problems with perceiving pain and trauma) I recently went to the dentist for a check-up and low and behold the wisdom tooth which I thought was “decayed” was healthy and no problems persisted.

Days after the dentist appointment the “pain” disappeared – I believe there is a connection between personality types, my emotional perception, and mood management and somatisation disorder and how I deal with grief and deep emotional states.

Emotions are human

Human beings are emotional beings and there are many different ways in which a person shall decode, evaluate, self-reference, and acknowledge and ultimately “deal” with their own emotional states is seems there are many emotional roads to Rome.

Paul Isaacs 2016


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Take A Break From “Autie-Land” & Regain Perspective of “You” & “Other”

SDC10045I have had a month off from the “autie-land” and I can say it has helped me very much with with perspective, with mindfulness, with balance and neutrality – the old saying about “I have found myself again” is something to strive for at least in me eyes. Being balanced means you can cope, adapt and manage things better in your life that means in essence you can be a more “functional person” this helps with both positive and negative things that happens in ones life this to me is very important in not only finding oneself but also connecting with others.

I have a strong belief that if one is on the “stage” one is not the centre of but one is “apart of” this that means everyone in principle is on a equal playing field even if at times it doesn’t feel like it (media, magazines, TV shows etc). However lets strive and make it a reality anyway. I have laughed more, procrastinated less, created more (drawings and poetry), walked more, enjoyed the company of good friends and people – I think that is telling me something right there. So if you are around people who are selfish, hollow, fake, lack empathy, are controlling and so forth how many chances do they need?

How many minutes, hours and years does one waste on this? This is something I have learned and lived in just over month when one is is balanced you “see more” as I have said I am person first and if we see people as “people” rather than “objects”, “things” and “labels” then maybe humanity would have a better chance of getting along. Strip the militancy and extremism out of it and have a better chance of ALL people being listened to.

Paul Isaacs 2015