It is difficult for autistic individuals to embrace failure or take risks. Instead, patients see themselves as confined in a drama dominated by shadow archetypes, mystery, and chaos. This engenders an unpleasant emotion; one caused in anticipation of danger. Indeed, anxiety is the biggest source of stress for those in the autism spectrum. For many, it is their constant companion. Anxiety thus establishes an intimate relationship with a person only to be interrupted by occasional bouts of intense fear or even panic.
Manuel Casanova 2021
I have written over the years about my own experiences with anxiety and mood disorders from a personal perspective
The dualism of having visual perception challenges (simultagnosia, semantic agnosia) rendering me object and meaning blind was both freeing, tangible, emotive and enriching in one sense but could be the opposite – coping strategies from an early age were dissociation, assigned characters and secondary to exposure anxiety.
My first memorable episode was being meaning deaf not able to decipher the interpretive frameworks of language in early infancy.
Strategies Built Over Time
I value the past, I was undiagnosed until my early twenties so I lived in a sink or swim environment, lacking concrete conscientiousness as a “primary“ option meant I was adaptive in art, fantasy and later creative writing.
This became a much more leisurely venture, however I still use it as a way of bridging my emotional world through my works
I wanted to know why “I was like I was” this included my attributes, my vices & my personhood (I refrain from lacking objectivity in autism making the condition akin to a “superpower” I would much rather look at reality and all that comes with it).
This I suppose is grounding as you can like people for social binding qualities.
Paul Isaacs 2022