Paul Isaacs' Blog

Autism from the inside


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What Is It To Be Truly Balanced? An Internal Process That Will Change Future Relationships, Core Beliefs & Attachment

Note- This A Personal Perspective & Observations

It’s interesting to me I have been thinking today about what makes “true happiness” or being content? Being loved? Love starts and ends with you, self love in terms of not looking for others to fix you and indeed be fixed. If one is there connected self then us no need for you to find anything as it all resides within you. Regardless of your surroundings – family, friends, children etc.Then once those seeds have been sown you can be fruitful friendships, relationships that are connected you know and feel their energy.

Some people aren’t ready to know that their conscious and unconscious minds, perceptions, core beliefs can have a deep reaction to unresolved trauma (this is about introspection, objection and taking ownership and responsibility) they may get angry, upset, dismissive, dissociative, become impulsive or go back to threads of thinking that confirm otherwise – this is a defence, I choose not to take it personally.

AUT-Tisitc Personality Disorders

  • Someone who is Schizoid may become inverted and detached
  • Someone who is Obsessive-Compulsive may want order, structure and control
  • Someone whom is Schizotypal may become more inverted and paranoid

Self based Personality Disorders

  • Someone who is who is Borderline may have bouts of emotional dysregulation due to feelings of emptiness
  • Someone who is Dependent may yearn and be submissive/or monopolise to their caregiver
  • Someone who is Passive-Aggressive may be angered by their and feel the world is against them
  • Someone who is Narcissistic may want revenge and delude themselves with grandiose thoughts

In the end these people need and open-minded and autonomous person whom can give them the space to work through there own challenges.

Understanding “Self” May Not Easy – The Road To Balance

You do not and cannot be in people’s shoes all the time, you may give them tools, balanced advice or nothing at all. However true connection you can ask for them to experience whoever they are – wish them peace and clarity.Here are mine – I know their origins and through that you work with the systems through rationalisation.

  • I would dissociate from interpretive language due to being profoundly meaning deaf during infancy
  • Body dysmorphia with regards due to circumcision and not processing operation and inappropriate incident in with children in my early infancy. This has extended to other parts of my body.
  • I have an ongoing binge eating disorder due to gratification of over eating (being encouraged, validation and “normalised”) and this is in relation to emotional dysregulation and impulse control in mid late infancy.
  • For many years I had emetophobia (fear of vomiting) which started when I vomited on the house carpet in house after having orange juice in infancy. It was resolved in my late teens.
  • I have at times a subconscious reaction to certain words/phraseology – this is now largely resolved as was due to a isolated incident with a teacher at Primary School.
  • I have had Shy Bowel and Bladder Syndrome due to having the toilet door kicked in when I was infant at school in mid infancy.
  • I pick my hair which is related to impulse control (dermatillomania) because it was a relaxing/comforting experience when my Mum picked scabs from my hair when I had chicken pox in mid late infancy.

Knowing the origins of different aspects of oneself can be a road that may be filled with fear and uncertainty but it could well be a release from the shackles of the past.

Paul Isaacs 2021


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“Autistic” Identity & Sense of Self?

My autism dances with my personhood… and my personhood must also dance with my autism yet whilst not separable, nor are they interchangeable with each other.

Autism, Identity First Language, and Identity Blog 2014

Donna Williams

What is “Autistic Identity” is this narrative helpful? Or is its own simplicity, stereotypes, static and linear narrative actually causing more harm than good? Are people who do not fit the “look” being dismissed because of politics and hidden agendas?
 
Personality Types & Disorders in Autism
 
For example let’s look at personality types and autism – all humans beings have these mine are mercurial, idiosyncratic, serious, self-sacrificing and solitary this tempers my perspective, tolerance, outlooks and even my belief systems to some degree. When they become disordered this in term has an impact on presentation.
 
Social Perceptional Challenges 
 
Now there is sensory perception social emotional agnosia (not seeing body language, facial expression and tone of voice) and alexithymia (emotional awareness) is not SENSORY perception but SOCIAL perception.
 
Sensory Perception and Sensory Integration? Different Origins?
 
SENSORY perception simultagnosia, semantic agnosia and associated visual agnosias in which the person struggles with context, faces, people, visual mentalising and secondary factors with language processing what about that reality? Sensory sensitivities associated with psychosomatic amplification are different.
 
Language Processing, Perception & Articulation 
 
Then there is in language processing such as verbal agnosia the perception of words, receptive and expressive aphasia and ability to filter interpretation, sentence structure and may have secondary communication disorders such as body and oral apraxia. What about that reality?
 
Mental Health – Does This Change Presentation?
 
What about people who have mental health presentations such as dissociative disorders, attachment disorders, psychosis, anxiety disorders and impulse control disorder. What about that reality?
 
What About People With Impacted Health Systems?
 
What about people with gut, autoimmune, metabolic or collagen disorders in which they gave associated challenges around these conditions in top of any further information processing challenges above? What about that reality?
 
Autism “Politics” & Fixed Narratives 
 
What about people whom claim that people aren’t on he spectrum due to personal and potentially mitigated circumstances? An inability to see their reality, ideas or perspectives? So potentially setting up an assassination of character and allowing others to go along for ride? How is that care, compassion or inclusion?
 
I would like to further add that if someone whom was diagnosed in the 1960’s with “childhood psychosis” (which is what they thought autism back then) and later had been diagnosed with autism in the 1990’s along with other conditions throughout their adulthood (such as visual perceptual disorders, atypical epilepsy, dietary disabilities, malabsorption, collagen disorders/ehlers danlos syndrome), whom for many years their diagnosis was considered to be “fake” and a “fraud” despite historical evidence. Is that correct?
 
Is it fair that their character after over two decades of physical and sexual abuse (they had a mother whom was a attachment disordered serial pedophile and abuser) whom acquired PTSD and Dissociative Identity Disorder to be given the mantle of “fake”? Personality disordered? Emotionally dysregulated? Violent and infantile? I ask these questions because its certainly clear to me that it isn’t and yesterday it brought me great sadness because I know in my heart that this isn’t truth. Its not the writer of such things I upset by its the teller of those things. 
 
They are not here to defend themselves so the least I can do is send out a clear message do not dictate someone’s character second hand. Its that simple.
 
Identity vs. Reality 
 
“Autistic Identity” is a it’s own separate social phenomena in which people can at times cherry pick what “is and isn’t” their autism. One can supply facts with empathy and I have always remained objective and moderate in the world of autism. Let’s start acknowledging that “autism” was never one thing in the first place.

When someone is diagnosed with autism? Are there other aspects we have to consider?


So for example if someone sees there whole being as “Autistic” is that accurate? helpful? Should we be allowing this to happen?

Paul Isaacs 2020


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Autism & Personality Disorders They Can Co-Exist – Borderline Personality Disorder

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OVERVIEW

Note- This is my personal perspective of having Autism and a PD

In previous posts I have come to the conclusion that my Autism doesn’t define me, but in my early twenties and when I was in my first job which was awful, two Personality Disorders came into the forefront which were “extremes” of my “normal” personality traits.Donna Williams has done extensive research into these areas of personhood (including extremes) and the developmental aspects of Autism and how they co-exist.

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER – THE EXTREME/DISORDERED VERSION OF MERCURIAL PERSONALITY TYPE

It is characterized as:

A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationshipsself-image and affects, as well as marked impulsivity, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

  1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-injuring behavior covered in Criterion 5
  2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
  3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
  4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., promiscuous sexeating disordersbinge eatingsubstance abusereckless driving). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-injuring behavior covered in Criterion 5
  5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, threats or self-injuring behavior such as cutting, interfering with the healing of scars (excoriation) or picking at oneself.
  6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).
  7. Chronic feelings of emptiness
  8. Inappropriate anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).
  9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation, delusions or severe dissociative symptoms

This was extracted from Wikipedia with the DSM-IV TR Diagnostic Features Copyright World Health Organization 

CAN AUTISM AND BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER CO-EXIST?

The answer to your question is yes it can. I had the features of self-harming behaviors which involved cutting, suicidal thoughts, over eating which included binge eating and under-eating, Feelings of emptiness, paranoid delusions, anger issues which made me snappy, problems with self image and the sense of who I was and my identity to the world, high levels of uncontrolled anxiety. This was due to problems with bullies in the workplace and not being able to fight back. However I will say this a strong controlled loving household (my parents) got me through this with positivity and self belief and convincing me that I wasn’t a victim!

Paul Isaacs 2014


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Autism & Personality Disorders They Can Co-Exist – Schizotypal Personality Disorder

OVERVIEW

IMAG0102

 

Note- This is my personal perspective of having Autism and a PD

In previous posts I have come to the conclusion that my Autism doesn’t define me, but in my early twenties and when I was in my first job which was awful, two Personality Disorders came into the forefront which were “extremes” of my “normal” personality traits. Donna Williams has done extensive research into these areas of personhood (including extremes) and the developmental aspects of Autism and how they co-exist.

SCHIZOTYPAL PERSONALITY DISORDER – THE EXTREME/DISORDERED VERSION OF THE IDIOSYNCRATIC PERSONALITY TYPE

The ICD- 10  definition is:

A disorder characterized by eccentric behavior and anomalies of thinking and affect which resemble those seen in schizophrenia, though no definite and characteristic schizophrenic anomalies have occurred at any stage. There is no dominant or typical disturbance, but any of the following may be present:
  • Inappropriate or constricted affect (the individual appears cold and aloof);
  • Behavior or appearance that is odd, eccentric or peculiar;
  • Poor rapport with others and a tendency to withdraw socially;
  • Odd beliefs or magical thinking, influencing behavior and inconsistent with subcultural norms;
  • Suspiciousness or paranoid ideas;
  • Obsessive ruminations without inner resistance, often with dysmorphophobic, sexual or aggressive contents;
  • Unusual perceptual experiences including somatosensory (bodily) or other illusions, depersonalization or derealization;
  • Vague, circumstantial, metaphorical, over-elaborate or stereotyped thinking, manifested by odd speech or in other ways, without gross incoherence;

This was due to many, many years of misunderstandings not all these traits relate to me – but I believe I wrote it best on my website where is an extract –

CAN AUTISM AND SCHIZOTYPAL PERSONALITY DISORDER CO-EXIST?

The answer to your question is yes it can. To quote a teacher at a specialist school “You’ve got a brain (Autistic or Not) you can get a Mental Health Personality Disorder”. I had this along with Borderline Personality Disorder after a nervous breakdown at work. This Personality Disorder was slowly manifesting over about 2 years before before I left work, it is clear that I have Autism from my early development (Just checkout my early development page) and I can’t see why this “invisible” barrier must come up when dealing with someone who could both have Autism (A Developmental Disorderand Schizotypal Personality Disorder (A Mental Health Disorder).

MAGICAL THINKING AND PSYCHOTIC EPISODES 

Yes this warped disturbed “Magical Thinking” was becoming more and more invasive and prominent as my mental health was getting worse. I remember having a massive episode in a public area it was scary (I had both depersonalisation and derealisation) this along with the psychotic episode was in a way a cry for help. My reality was in a mess but thankfully through the help of my family I got through this, I’m very thankful for their on going support and help.

Autism and Mental Health problems must be taken seriously and sensitively. The specialist must have knowledge in Autism to be able to help effectively and pro-actively sadly I never got this attention but my hope is in the future this becomes the mainstream!

AUTISM BLOG – AUTISM SCIENCE & OPINION 

Scroll down towards the end of this blog there are interesting links, medical studies and personal accounts towards the interlinking between Autism, Asperger’s & Schizotypal and Schizoid Personality Disorders

CONCLUSION

Remember “Autism” and “Personality are two different entities that co-exist within our selves the reason why my personality became “disordered” was because of issues of environment which compacted with my developmental issues and information processing made it difficult at this point in time, I still remain strong and positive thought. 🙂 The only way is forward. 🙂

Paul Isaacs 2014