Paul Isaacs' Blog

Autism from the inside


When The Clouds Move In

In the universe of the social media what does one put when someone is so low and depressed? Is it a false currency to type your feelings? Is it not correct to extract your thoughts onto a wider medium? Is it merely seen as a chance to get some sort of gratification or social supply from the amount of reactions and comments that come under your status?

I am depressed at the moment and the depression doesn’t seem to give me time to get grounded, its saps my energy, tailors my perceptions, distorts my mood and thought processes yet I still come out with a smile, a false sense of connecting, being in a room full of people and the walls come crashing in as the bleaked aloneness comes towards your words become ash, people become shadows and you wish to run away from the vessel you live in from day to day.

I have never since my teens felt such a state of melancholy, despair or detachment from the world around, pessimism rises from its tomb, nihilism jabs at my mind and hopelessness dominates as I plunder into the void once again. Maybe if I spoke up more about such feelings I would be privy to a listening ear? Maybe if I shed more tears I would get a sense of comfort from a friend? I know not what the future holds none of us do but at this moment in time the darkness follows me everywhere the omnipresence suffocates my soul and creativity.

Maybe all I want is for someone to see me as a human being, not a catalogue of facts about autism, maybe I would like someone to recognise my challenges and difficulties as I am made to understand theirs? Maybe I just want my perspective to acknowledged and validated regardless of it being right or wrong.

I do not like living a “half-life” between the void and the false pretence of happiness in my current state. If people think I am seeking a hollow sense of attention so be it but writing for me does extract the cusp of the matters, so I say to you if you feel down, low, depressed or otherwise please tell someone it may not sort out the root of the problem but it could be the start of doing so.

Paul Isaacs 2019


Donna Williams’ Autism Fruit Salad – Bridging the Medical and Social Model of Disability

When Donna published “Autism: The Inside Out Approach” in 1996 it was the beginning of a trail-blazing analogy which would look at autism from the factual, compassionate and directional angle.

Looking Outside The Box

It would ditch rhetoric, confirmation bias and group think it would challenge people views (rightly or wrongly) about autism as a singular condition but look at it through the lens as a multi-faceted condition in which the person has their own unique “pieces” which would present differently from person to person.

Setting A Fluid Framework

She quite rightly humanised medical conditions that present themselves as apart of someones autism such as visual perceptual disorders such as faceblindness, simultagnosia and semantic agnosia and expand on the themes of context blindness in pragmatic but emotionally binding way.

Breaking The “Status Quo”

She would advocate for people who had severe apraxia and aphasia as a part of their autism and would need facilitated communication and assisted communication tools. She would advocate for people who struggled with ABA programs which triggered exposure anxiety.

She would challenge the status quo of “all people with autism think in pictures” or “all people with autism are logical literal thinkers”. She would advocate for people with health conditions as a part of their autism.


She would quite rightfully not tolerate internalised bigotry within the autism world and would promote a heart warming and expanding message of egalitarianism in which means equality for all which is not just said but put into practice in a person’s daily life.

Let her videos, blogs and books inform you and empower you for in the end what she wanted out of you was to the be the best version of yourself.

Paul Isaacs 2019

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Autism & Identity

I have never seen all of my being as autistic because the word is an adjective a describing word of an experience.

Current Experiences

I experience face blindness, object blindness and meaning blindnessas I do a language processing disorder, hemiplegia, body agnosias and associated learning difficulties.

Past-Tense Experiences

There are also experiences in the past tense such as over coming oral apraxia, high levels of exposure anxiety, selective mutism and gaining functional speech although it was a long road to doing so.

Personality Types

I have personality types such as Mercurial, Idiosyncratic, Self-Sacrificing and Serious (all human beings have personality types of varying types).


Autism is not ALL it is PART OF I see myself as a person a patchwork quilt made of many things. Autism just “is” I am neither proud nor ashamed. I seek balance not objectification. ūüėä

Paul Isaacs 2019

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Mick Foley – American Wrestler Retrospective

When I think of wrestling in the USA I tend to think of at least three The Undertaker, Stone Cold Steve Austin and Mick Foley.

I started watching wrestling via VHS in the mid-nineties when a friend of my Father lent him videos of old WWF/E pay per view events this included The Royal Rumble, King of the Ring,  Wrestlemania and Summerslam as amongst others. Then a friend of mine recorded them on VHS and lent me house shows too.

Image result for mankind entrance summerslam 1997

Summerslam 1997 Copyright World Wrestling Entertainment 


One of my earliest memories of Mick Foley was in his Mankind persona for the first match of Summerslam 1997 in which he had a rivalry with the King of the Ring contest winner Hunter Hearst Helmsley. As this strange character staggered out of the mist with melancholic music (fitting the characters personality) he had long hair and wore a tightly bound leather mask, it was a fun match to watch.

I was was in awe of this character slammed into the a cage but never seeming to give up. He changed personas towards the end of the match, with symbolic removal of the leather mask and the change of character Dude Love appeared and dropped the show stopping elbow drop for the win.

I eagerly looked forward to seeing this character again with his ever changing personas such as Cactus Jack his gritty and often humorous promos in interviews and to  the eager crowds. I liked  watching and his shoot from hip style of wrestling.

Image result for mankind king of the ring 1998

King of the Ring 1998 Copyright World Wrestling Entertainment 


He was a risk taker and his body has taken his toll from many chairs shots, insane bumps and falls (notably the 1998 Hell in a Cell match) which he opened up about in the recent WWE documentary about his in-ring career but is was for the fans and he always wanted to give a his all for them. He had a short career in the WWF/E but a highly memorable and progressive one (Wrestling in other promotions¬†WCW, SMW NJPW and ECW) ¬†with unforgettable matches and rivalries with The Undertaker, Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock . His story and progression is just as interesting as the things I have highlighted above his autobiography¬†¬†with his rags to riches rise to the big time slowly going up the ranks, his future wife and his love for all things Christmas. ūüôā


He also seems a conscientious and caring with not an ego to boot, who is warm friendly and approachable to fans and other professionals and likes giving his time to charities and organisations. He is an successful writer and author who shows great introspection and detail for the business he has worked in for many years.

Paul Isaacs 2016