Paul Isaacs' Blog

Autism from the inside


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The “Autistic Identity” Phenomena

When I was diagnosed was autism in 2010 – I wasn’t aware of such an “identity” because to honest I was never in that “world” at all. I often wonder that despite the obvious difficulties I had during my development and environment the one thing that I had going for me was the simple “human-hood” which was conveyed by the my parents as a way of connecting with me.

I don’t consider this perception from my parents to be “unique”, “specialised” or “autistic-specific” in its intentions nor in its thinking at the time (although it could have well be seen as that on reflection).

I wasn’t born with a “label”

In many of my blogs I have spoken about the balance of being seen as “human”, “person” and “being” first and as I have been in this “world” for over five years. I have seen the firm importance of seeing people as “people”, by not defining their whole “soul”, “identity”, “being” by their label (or labels) nor having it being overtly defined for them so there is nothing else left.

“Labels” are an adjective not an overall definition

If everybody was to be defined by solely by a “label” wouldn’t it be restrictive, suffocating and narrowing your bandwidth of experiences, perceptions, thoughts and feelings?

Not towing line meant I could see “myself”

I am glad that I haven’t towed the line into the realms of stereotypes, group think, confirmation bias and all the militancy that goes with it. I am glad that my parents after I was diagnosed said that I am still “Paul” regardless. I am glad that I see the importance of seeing somone as a person first. I am glad that I have other interests that take up my time productively such as drawing, poetry, walks in the countryside and meeting up with friends.

People are people regardless

I am free to think and feel and have a more refined outlook that I am firstly and thankfully not being the centre of the universe, not the big answer all  to the questions, not speaking for “all” (because no one can) and have a egalitarian view that all people are of equal worth in this world no more and certainly no less.

Paul Isaacs 2016

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Mental Health: Reflections Of Moving On From Negative Environments

ShortsNote: This is from a personal perspective

Negative environments

Negative environments can leave “hidden difficulties” that become about to the mix of things that may not of been there when the person entered them. Mental health is tempestuous subject in itself but looking after one’s own mental health and being aware of the “warning signs” of mental health issues can be a very difficult one to acknowledge and accept that is happening.

Slow escalation of events

Sometimes events can slowly build up from behaviours of others, this may have a slow gradient like effect that initially may seem quite “mild” in the sense that the overall impact is small and may well be just secluded to the event which happened and the person is able to get on with their day with no trouble at all.

Sometimes “resolve” doesn’t come in the form you expect

What if that situation lacks resolve but you yourself want a resolve? What is the situation is being mishandled? And you yourself want it to be handled correctly?

With a moral compass for feelings to not only be acknowledged but to withhold a balanced and healthy level of objectivity.

If those basic foundations aren’t in place for whatever reason and you feel trapped and/or obliged to keep going, there is going to be a tipping point and decision making that needs to be addressed, surely for the benefit of the parties involved.

Let go of the situation and the people within it

My reflections are only from a personal perspective on whence they happened but I believe that one of the primary mistakes that were made by me was to keep staying for the long term – I know why I did. It was primary because I didn’t want to leave; it made me feel uncomfortable for the future and what that meant in the long term.

Positivity and new experiences are valued

When I left the situation my mental health improved gradually to a point where my mental health was on an even keel and was not impacted by mood disorders, emotional regulation problems, clinical depression, and personality disorders. The “invisible chains” that had shackled me where gone I had gained a level of control, autonomy, roundedness with the ability to look back not in shame, self-pity but that a lesson was learned.

Paul Isaacs 2016


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Reflections for the New Year and Life

IMAG0272I hope all have a grateful New Year and are ready to spread their wings into different ventures and pathways, you may have to go down a different path and/or continue down the same one until the cross-roads of life unfold you may have do things that are uncomfortable but necessary you may need to do things that continue to give you joy and stability – burning bridges with the philosophy that isn’t shallow but needed, contextual and logical.

Keeping and valuing good friends and loved ones whom value you as you do them with the veneer less intentions and faces with what you see is what you get none too one-sided or over invested but just balanced – this is hopefully something that is learned to me in the coming year to strive to me more balanced, have good emotional management, to not be a doormat or be used by untrustworthy agendas and shallow people he thing more about you can do for them a less about the person you are, to value real friend and companionship this will not just be for 2016 but something that I can work on in the ages.

Paul Isaacs 2016


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Ending Racism – The Illogical Perception That Hating Others Is “Right” It Isn’t

Why?

I often wondering why some would hate someone for such reasons? – How someone gets to the point of were they hate someone so much that they feel the immoral validation to take peoples lives just to “prove a point” or to “send a message” this sort of mentality not only needs to be challenged but also be challenged to  why someone would have such a perception in the first place. It is simply wrong.

Hate Does Nothing

Hate has never caused any solutions nor solved any problems but by ending hate that will have many positive outcomes for all people, equalism, opportunities, positive validation (being listen too and acknowledged as person) and communities coming together. 🙂

STAYWOKE – Together, we will END racism and police violence in America. Get involved. #StayWoke

Paul Isaacs 2015


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Autism & What About Humanity? And Connectivity?

Family Christmas Early 90s

Dad, Gramp & Me Just “Being”

Autism it just “is” when I go out in the world the biggest thing for me is to be apart of humanity, people, beings – so when I go down the street what do you “see” and what do.

I “see” – “Autism” is a name for a clustering of pre-existing conditions which I have which for me are (PERCEPTUAL, LANGUAGE EXPRESSION, AUDITORY, LANGUAGE RECEPTION, BRAIN INJURY, MOVEMENT, COGNITION) this is PERSONAL to me but they affect how I process things/understand things – they do not define my TOTALITY nor are they “ME” I am artistic, idiosyncratic, emotive, emotional, creative, solitary, serious, funny, silly etc those things are what is called shared things with other people (regardless of any disability or not).

Autism is something I am neither proud or nor ashamed of it just “is” I was born a person so I would rather people see me as a person (as everyone else should be) not to be swept up by stereotypes, or militancy or “them” and “us” perceptions, but be seen as person. I am not a an “object” to be observed nor am I a “genius” to be revered – so if we look at being balanced about things then we open up more doors then close them. I am no “better” nor “worse”. We (as human beings) are all equal. 

Paul Isaacs 2015


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Healthy Boundaries, Healthy Relationships, Empathy And Not Treating Others As “Objects”

SAM_0739The Importance Of Healthy Boundaries 

Healthy boundaries are so important for all types of relationships when boundaries are pointed out is good for both parties if autonomy is taken away (for what ever reason) can have negative affect on someone’s self-worth and mental health.

In context of people who have negative personality extremes such as

or other associated personality disorders.

Being Balanced & My Journey With Borderline PD

A journey to building up a sense of “self” (because of developmental and personality types/traits) has been very important to me as I am nearing 30 I kind of know what sort of energy is “balanced” with regards to people and friends and when people are crossing boundaries and learning when I am doing the same.

Autism & Borderline Personality Disorder 

This is a link to my website on how this affected me in the late 2000’s and how it can make you feel this is why a value positive and constructive direction not giving too much but at the same time not receiving too much either. This was a tough time in my life but I am glad I go through it a learned a lot from it also. 🙂

Workplace 2007 & Mental Breakdown

I felt worthless at this point due to persistent difficulties in the workplace It was my first place of employment  so I took it out on myself. There seems to by other types of Borderline PD which includes social manipulation, lying and game playing. None I which I did nor do 

What happened to me was an implosion and psychotic breakdown due to environmental stress and workplace bullying.

Autism & Personality Disorders – Coexistence? 

Autism is part of someone’s developmental trajectory- it is diverse and unique in it’s presentations but all human beings also have unique personality traits and types which develop as well.

In the context of autism personality traits/types and styles are just as relevant and if you take my examples above you can see a “normal” personalty type pushed into the “disordered” extreme. On top of that my autism comes into play too in terms of the processing information, language, visuals, “self” and “other” and all the other aspects of my “fruit salad”.

Kindness – I like to help others I but there has be personal boundaries. which is thinking of the person in question good intentions come from the right place with me but what I have learned is about volume and negative intensity. I think about other peoples feelings a lot.

Mercurial Personality Type  – This is the “Normal/Balanced” version of Borderline PD

  1. Decency; Earnestness; Thriftiness.
  2. Mercy, Forgiveness; Modesty, Naturalness.
  3. Hope, Cheerfulness, Joyfulness, Sociability.
  4. Sincerity, Straightforwardness; Honesty, Fairness.
  5. Tolerance, Liberalism, Open-mindedness.
  6. Generosity, Liberality; Courtesy, Graciousness, Equitableness; Altruism, Kindness; Affability, Friendliness.
  7. Idealism.
  8. Energy, Enthusiasm.
  9. Artistry, Inquisitiveness; Boldness, Spontaneity; Creativity, Humorousness.

Family 2003 1Failure is “Normal” and Relative 

I am glad my parents gave me the chance to have autonomy, freedom, understand “failure” and criticism are normal parts of being human and that the goal of being apart of not the centre of is  a good thing and valuing other peoples feelings and autonomy. The importance of being kind and sincere with depth and integrity I know I got from my parents.

I know where I stand with my parents and certainly my friends too. I can’t imagine how a child could be treated in such destructive way that would effect future development in teenage and adulthood that is scary.

Paul Isaacs 2015


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The Autism World – When Our Hearts & Ears Have To Be Open To All Realities

Things Need To Change?

It’s my opinion that indulgent self-gratification and the selfishness in parts of “autism world” is what I feel will eventually make it implode and full-apart. If it all becomes about “me,me,me”, point scoring, back-stabbing (being two faced), office politics, game playing, “them and us” separation, object using (psychopathy and sociopathy) not listening, stereotype investing and not learning then people like myself (who try to do their best to empower and stay true to themselves) and others on and off the autism spectrum are going to continue to get hurt, told to be silent not believed or to just told “get on with it” no one seems to care about such repercussions on one’s character and mental health. I process things slowly but get there in the end.

If we listened to one another and appreciated other’s realities we would learn SO MUCH more. It is not the act it is the heart of where the act comes from I do things to empower not monopolise or manipulate.

Conclusion

Listening is a very important tool it means not only showing an interest but in the context of this chapter it means taking into account someone’s thoughts and feelings. What journey have you been through? What paths did you take to get there? Every human being is on there own specific journey and is important to acknowledge that.

“Them and “Us” – We Are All Human 

We can all learn from each other if politics and tired old stereotypes which are churned out through oppression in and around the “autism world” then voices will and are most certainly going to be lost. The them and us scenario causes friction ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) and NT (“Neurotypical”) or vice versa.

We as human beings are all equal and when neurotypical  becomes a loaded word (spiteful, derogatory, other or sub-human etc) that is not right. I say people who aren’t on the spectrum myself. Inclusion is about everyone getting involved in the context of this chapter it means that both views are valid.

Conclusion 

All views and opinions wherever someone is on the spectrum or not should be taken into account that is because one can learn from the act of sharing each other views, what they mean. How do they differ? What are the similarities and having healthy look at the whats and whys.

Neurotypical? A Word That Doesn’t Make Sense?

What is an NT? There is no such thing in my opinion. We are all human and taking all realities into account is far more positive and inclusive than creating what I call man-made barriers we could from metaphorical perspective “holds hands” in this regards everybody has a story unique to  a view and/or viewpoints that are as equal and as valid as the next persons.

Conclusion

If someone calls someone a name that is meant to make them feel worthless that has knock on effect on their self-esteem and self worth “typical” doesn’t sound very nice and if the situation was reversed I am sure it would feel equally hurtful. When I talk about equalism I am meaning everybody. Setting good examples is a way move forward.

Militancy – When People Take Things Too Far 

That is true when people attack whether they are on the spectrum or not – one must take responsibility for their actions. That is what worries me there should be no single representation of autism even by people who are in a position of being an advocate on the autism spectrum. One can only talk about their profile and how autism affects them – the key is that their so many other different and diverse profiles.

Militancy creates too many barriers and shuts off a lot other people on and off the spectrum who have different ideas, profiles and presentations. Surely hearing different views is good?

Conclusion

If we talked and discussed our views in a manner which is respectful we may learn that we share things and have insights that are common – however one may learn that are viewpoints and ideals come from different areas this isn’t a bad thing but when views get extreme it has a “pebble in a pound” effect it causes problems for other whose view may be lost in the mix of extremism.

Autism Politics – The Two Extremes

You have people who are are curists and people who are culturists both demographics go to the extreme to get their points of view across to others – what saddens me is that both have points to say but the way in which they’re either presented and said are not practical nor respectable .Wouldn’t it be nice if people listened – I stand neutral believing that everyone is equal (you hear that a lot in the post I know) and human.

Fruit Salad Analogy Copyright D.Williams

Fruit Salad Analogy Copyright D.Williams

What is Autism?

Autism is different and unique for each person who has the it – it’s made of different “ingredients” that means that the overall profile is unique to that person how they process information, if they have additional learning disabilities or not, if they have food intolerances, auto-immune disorders and so forth – in other words it is a set of pre-existing conditions and has a “stacking effect” and a point of origin which in itself is unique to each person- Olga Bogdashina calls it Autisms  and Donna Williams calls it a Fruit Salad. That is why all realities of Autism are different and diverse.

Looking Towards the Future – Equalism and Egalitarianism

If one would strip all the militancy, bullying and aggression by people on and off the autism spectrum – would that create a bigger pathway of diversity? Would more voices be heard? More realities listened too and acknowledged? Would new ideas flourish? I certainly hope so. We are equal in this world and no one is above or below anyone else we all have our stories to tell.

Final Conclusion – Everybody Having A Say 

Every human being on earth has right to be listened too, supported, acknowledged, cared for a appreciated for being them and seeing their personhood. So by bringing everyone into the scene you don’t  have “them” and “us” you see and have different points of views for and by different people on the spectrum or not but equal in their validity, by not having extremism you having balanced acknowledgment of both agreement and disagreement.

Inclusion is Bringing a Diverse set of views from Different Places

  • People on the whole of the autism spectrum
  • People who are functionally non-verbal
  • People with autism and learning disabilities
  • People from different cultures and backgrounds
  • Parents, family members, carers and guardians
  • Autism professionals (neurologists, psychologists, psychiatrists etc)
  • Educational teams
  • Other services

Paul Isaacs 2015