Paul Isaacs' Blog

Autism from the inside


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Androgyny & Male Feminity

Gender conforms nothing to me since my teens I knew I was effeminate and what sort of bigitory around chasms of narrow passed down thoughts that being “feminine” is some how the negative “ying” to the positive “yang” of being “a man” in the context of denying your own weeping tear ducts and inner feeling states.

I am probably more happy now that I can have a matured head on my shoulders that I can take the assured nature of experience and use it now.

Paul Isaacs 2019


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My World- Autism, Ethos & Humanity

I am pleased an eagerly proud to be working for a small autism organisation called My World and day centre for people on the autism spectrum. This summer it shall be four years of service to which I have contributed my consultancy work.

With people who have a narrow, conceited and reductive view of what autism “is” and how one is supposed to “act” and “behave” noting that it has “one look” so therefore “one approach and intervention” is wrong and that doesn’t happen here.

At My World all the caring and empathic staff are valued, open-minded and willing to learn this means that what is taken is a person-centred approach, looking at the person’s mental health, learning styles, information processing challenges and ultimately sees them as people or equal worth and value going about their day and purcuits.

Our success is our ethos, open-mind natures, ability to learn new things and approaches and empathy which encourages people in the end to be the best version of themselves.

Paul Isaacs 2019


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What Are “You”?

I often teeter on the wonderance of what it means to be a brain with a nervous system?

Why I am here? Why I am attuned and attached to an aging body? Why do I think, act, behave and react the way I do?

People are sometimes scared of their own minds and thought processes seeing them as a darkly moulded appendage that is seperate from one’s self an inner coil of contradictory truths.

As I know at this point I couldn’t be more happier being my own best friend, ally and comfort in times of earthly solace to do the right things. I hold in to truths even metaphorical ones and friends of friends a like flow into our pathly existences once again.

Paul Isaacs 2019


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“Neurotypical”, Reverse-Bigotry & The Warped Lense Of Equality

 

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Not this is from personal experiences

“Neurotypical” Is Inaccurate & Misleading? 

The word Neurotypical is used to describe people who are “non-autistic” but what if we have got that all wrong? What if the barriers are being created by the assumptions of what “autism” is that then thrusting one’s own presumptions of what it is like to be “non-autistic”?  I think that there really is no such thing.

Bigotry Is Still Bigotry 

Reverse bigotry is still that bigotry and if someone is using the words “NT” or “Neurotypical” to dehumanise, belittle or bully someone then surely that very generalised assumption if wrong? How does that become validated? Is it a sense of one’s own self importance, ego, group think and conformation bias, upbringing and/or past experiences? What gives someone the right to say these things and not take social emotional impact it has on the people in question?

“Autistic Identity”

This has worryingly been created through a “narrow” bandwidth of what autism “is” and “isn’t” but also what being “non-autistic” “is” and “isn’t”. The truth is there are far more similarities between people than not so why over invest in stereotypes? Which in the long run give people  a generic tick list of “traits”?

More Voices? More Perspectives? 

If we created so many degrees of separation do we strive to lose our objectivity? Being grounded means looking at things from the angle of non-bias. I have seen too much militancy that means that some people’s experiences have been silenced because they have not fitted the status quo that means there is rhetoric and that is unhealthy. Equality is for everybody.

No one “owns” autism it is not a thing to be bought or sold, no one should be able to cherry pick what autism “should look like” because guess what? It doesn’t have a “look” and more you give it one ironically the more voices will be lost.

Paul Isaacs 2018


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Is Stereotyping & Glamorising Autism A Dangerous Path to Tread? Balance Is The Way Forward

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I think of Polly a lot and as it is coming near to a year since she has passed and autism awareness month. I think of the valuable and human lessons she taught me and other advocates who keenly listened and understood not only her perspective on the matter but her overall out look and ethos.

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Autistic Person? Or Person With Autism?

I think when I was born and all that was around me that I wasn’t fully aware of yet, the people, trees, the buildings, the modern world, the natural world. I think of cladding and chosen identities and when comes to defining a person by one aspect of themselves. I often wonder and worry about what that means. If we see everything as the “autism” from the moment one gets up to the moment one goes to bed what is left?

Cannot we see the other aspects the mould a person such as the environment they live in? The personality types they have? The mental health conditions? Their sense of identity? (other than being “autistic”) And their learning styles?

If we are addressing “autism” surely we should be looking at the bigger picture rather than tired and easily digested rhetoric such as “all autistic’s are logical, literal thinkers” or “all autistic’s have special interests” not taking into account the broader perspective on neurological and biological aspects, the social emotional aspects and very specific wants and needs of that person themselves and/or their families and loved ones.

An “Autistic Mind”? Or a “Human Mind? 

Last time I checked there is no such thing as a mind cannot have be clear cut as “autistic” and “non-autistic” many aspects to do with information processing can have an impact on presentation. Such as a person with social-emotional agnosia not being able to read body language, facial expression and/or tone of voice, aphasia and being able to express and/or retrieve words and apraxia with living in a body that doesn’t obey its commands of the “owner”.

Personality types in human beings regardless of autism effect the presentation of the person such as being solitary and a preference for being alone, idiosyncratic and not confirming to the cultural and social expectations and conscientious and wanting logic, linear thought and perfection to name but a few.

Balance

If we ditch the rhetoric, the cash-cows, the money makers, the politics and get to what is “real” then that is the greatest and most honest foundation of them all. True empowerment is knowing what something is and working from there not making things up to suit the make-shift package you want to “sell” to people.  I think there is nothing wrong with showing the example of just “getting on with one’s life” as the greatest one.

I am not famous, “special” or “unique” words like that scare me. It puts me on some invisible pedestal that quite rightly I don’t deserve nor want to be on. 😉

Paul Isaacs 2018


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The “Autistic Identity” Phenomena

When I was diagnosed was autism in 2010 – I wasn’t aware of such an “identity” because to honest I was never in that “world” at all. I often wonder that despite the obvious difficulties I had during my development and environment the one thing that I had going for me was the simple “human-hood” which was conveyed by the my parents as a way of connecting with me.

I don’t consider this perception from my parents to be “unique”, “specialised” or “autistic-specific” in its intentions nor in its thinking at the time (although it could have well be seen as that on reflection).

I wasn’t born with a “label”

In many of my blogs I have spoken about the balance of being seen as “human”, “person” and “being” first and as I have been in this “world” for over five years. I have seen the firm importance of seeing people as “people”, by not defining their whole “soul”, “identity”, “being” by their label (or labels) nor having it being overtly defined for them so there is nothing else left.

“Labels” are an adjective not an overall definition

If everybody was to be defined by solely by a “label” wouldn’t it be restrictive, suffocating and narrowing your bandwidth of experiences, perceptions, thoughts and feelings?

Not towing line meant I could see “myself”

I am glad that I haven’t towed the line into the realms of stereotypes, group think, confirmation bias and all the militancy that goes with it. I am glad that my parents after I was diagnosed said that I am still “Paul” regardless. I am glad that I see the importance of seeing somone as a person first. I am glad that I have other interests that take up my time productively such as drawing, poetry, walks in the countryside and meeting up with friends.

People are people regardless

I am free to think and feel and have a more refined outlook that I am firstly and thankfully not being the centre of the universe, not the big answer all  to the questions, not speaking for “all” (because no one can) and have a egalitarian view that all people are of equal worth in this world no more and certainly no less.

Paul Isaacs 2016


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Mental Health: Reflections Of Moving On From Negative Environments

ShortsNote: This is from a personal perspective

Negative environments

Negative environments can leave “hidden difficulties” that become about to the mix of things that may not of been there when the person entered them. Mental health is tempestuous subject in itself but looking after one’s own mental health and being aware of the “warning signs” of mental health issues can be a very difficult one to acknowledge and accept that is happening.

Slow escalation of events

Sometimes events can slowly build up from behaviours of others, this may have a slow gradient like effect that initially may seem quite “mild” in the sense that the overall impact is small and may well be just secluded to the event which happened and the person is able to get on with their day with no trouble at all.

Sometimes “resolve” doesn’t come in the form you expect

What if that situation lacks resolve but you yourself want a resolve? What is the situation is being mishandled? And you yourself want it to be handled correctly?

With a moral compass for feelings to not only be acknowledged but to withhold a balanced and healthy level of objectivity.

If those basic foundations aren’t in place for whatever reason and you feel trapped and/or obliged to keep going, there is going to be a tipping point and decision making that needs to be addressed, surely for the benefit of the parties involved.

Let go of the situation and the people within it

My reflections are only from a personal perspective on whence they happened but I believe that one of the primary mistakes that were made by me was to keep staying for the long term – I know why I did. It was primary because I didn’t want to leave; it made me feel uncomfortable for the future and what that meant in the long term.

Positivity and new experiences are valued

When I left the situation my mental health improved gradually to a point where my mental health was on an even keel and was not impacted by mood disorders, emotional regulation problems, clinical depression, and personality disorders. The “invisible chains” that had shackled me where gone I had gained a level of control, autonomy, roundedness with the ability to look back not in shame, self-pity but that a lesson was learned.

Paul Isaacs 2016