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Autism from the inside


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House Hunting and Moving Advice for Parents With Children on the Spectrum

Image from Unsplash

I’m a dad living in Philadelphia. I enjoy DIY projects almost as much as raising my two children. I’m also the co-creator of Fix It Dads, which offers tips for home improvement projects.  www.Fixitdads.com

As a parent, your primary priority will always be your child. Considering your little one can be challenging when planning a move, especially if your child is on the autism spectrum. There will be house features to look out for and home modifications to make. In addition, when forced to confront change, children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) often experience extreme anxiety and stress. This can be harrowing to watch as a parent.

However, the payoff for the hard work is well worth the effort. Seeing your child flourishing, joyous, and well-adjusted in their new environment will be highly fulfilling. Whether you’re house-hunting for financial reasons, a job, or wish for a better life elsewhere, moving may just be the ticket to happiness for you and your family. And with a bit of advice from Paul Isaacs’ Blog, you’ll be good to go for a smooth and efficient move.

Keep Your Little One in the Loop

The key to a successful move is to include your child in the decision-making process. According to the Raising Children Network, kids with ASD don’t deal well with change, so it is vital to help them feel secure. Try to let them know about the move as early as possible, so they have the time and space to process the information. Spectrum News reports that kids with ASD typically need a month or more to prepare for a significant life change.

Another critical tip is to paint a vivid picture of their new environment. Tell your kid about their new room, the house, and the kind of school they’ll be going to. Get them excited about features like a pool in the backyard or a great park nearby. Don’t forget to mention anchor features that they value in your current home, such as toys or furniture.

Look For the Perfect Autism-Friendly Home

You will need to find a home that is ideally located to suit your child’s needs. Look for neighborhoods with easy access to good schools, medical facilities, and therapy centers. Once you’ve narrowed down the right location, you’ll have to do some research on median prices. It can be tricky to find a home that is both autism-friendly and affordable. However, remember that details that bother those with ASD are typically easily fixed. For example, painting and lighting are easily changed up for a budget-friendly solution.

In addition to features and home prices, you’ll need to consider annual income, monthly expenses, and the down payment cost. During this time, you may want to consider whether purchasing an “as-is” home is the right choice. In addition to saving you money, purchasing an “as-is” home can allow you to tailor the space to your child’s specific needs. However, if you decide to take this route, make sure that the home’s current state doesn’t pose any risk to your family’s overall well-being.

Fixing Up Your New Home

It’s going to be challenging to find a house that is fitted out with your specifications and meets your budget requirements! You’ll likely need to make a few modifications to ensure that your house feels safe for your loved one. For example, you will have to ensure you’re accommodating your child’s sensory sensitivity. Echoey rooms and unclean spaces are big triggers, so be sure to get some furniture in and deep-clean the home before moving in. Soundproofing, rounded countertops, and quiet appliances are some other features that will be valuable for your child on the spectrum.

Also, take the time to set up smart cameras, safety locks, and smoke alarms, so the house is move-in ready. Set up open concept plans to ensure circulation, as this is important for people on the spectrum. A bigger backyard is also a great way to ensure your child thrives — this will improve their strength, processing, and attention span and give them exposure to the outdoors. House hunting and moving can have some unique challenges when you’re the parent of a child with ASD. However, get comfortable with the difficulties and take it in your stride. Plan ahead for an efficient move, and remember to comfort your child on moving day. The more you involve your child, the better they will adjust to the upcoming changes

Post by Rob Woods

Blogged by Paul Isaacs 2022


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The Doubled Edge Sword of Autism & The System of Sensing

Note- This is personal perspective of the living in the system of sensing

The System ALL Human Beings Come From?

The “awareness” comes later on in a person’s development in which interpretive, logical, linear and cognitive associative style of making connections comes into place. A baby is a human being that has nervous system which is naked.

That means the filtering and internal cladding that comes later isn’t there or present and thus the ability to sense and merge is present.

How The Relates Contextually to Autism

Although labels create a lot division rightly or wrongly to here are the two basic systems that I have seen in my work over the the years.

  • Asperger’s Syndrome (now since removed) – Social Emotional Agnosia, Logical and Literal mentalising systems with reduced and/or inability to merge and sense due to less information processing challenges.

  • Classic Autism – Social perception due to Visual Agnosias, Less Logical, Less Literal mentalising systems and higher ability to merge and sense due to higher information processing challenges.

How The Sensing System Works

Merging With People

I can sense and merge with people’s emotions, trauma, false core beliefs, internal vulnerabilities, projection and if they are not being honest either with themselves, a group of people or me. This can cause temporary dissonance between selfhood and other, shutdowns and as I have gotten older and gained functional speech potential dialogues that person isn’t consciously ready for and/or uncomfortable with.

I can reason out the difference between a person who is dangerous (narcissists, psychopaths & abusers) to others whom is deeply traumatised and/or living as perceived self (due to a mixture of factors developmental, environmental, attachment and personality disorders) in which their projection (unconscious trauma responses) as an extension of that – the analogy I use for this phenomena is I can feel the sunshine of their personhood which is hiding behind the clouds of unresolved challenges.

Both parties for different reasons (fear and/or a reaction to people’s internal sadness) trigger exposure anxiety and the defence responses that come with it.

Merging With The Environment

I can merge with just about anything losing the ability to gain the interpretive thread of what it means and its function, this were the object and enviroment become from the outside in this could look like someone whom has impulse control challenges.

For example when I commute on the London Underground all the lines, shapes, colours, shimmer and shine all compete for my attention (think of baby being enraptured by lights) and I must keep my conscious mind on track so that I do not merge into my enviroment when this is done I go into trance like state, it is warm and comforting. However removing this feeling can come at the price of emotional regulation challenges. Donna Williams (Polly Samuel) noted a deep sadness when broken away from what she had been focused on in this transient state.

The System Of Sensing & Personality Types

A person who fits the Solitary Personality Type may need time an space from people because of their ability to merge.

A person who fits the Idiosyncratic Personality Type may be highly sensitive to perceptions, thoughts and opinions around them.

A person who fits the Self-Sacrificing Personality Type may be hyper aware of other people’s challenges (regardless of if the person is consciously aware themselves) and likes to help and others.

Conclusion

It can be both heavenly and hellish, it comes with both its abilities and disabilities (or very much because of them), it can lead to connections for a life time, it can lead to misunderstandings and tears, it can lead to happiness, acceptance and all that maybe in between.

Paul Isaacs 2022


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Anna Kennedy – Autism & Information Processing Workshop

Information Processing Challenges Covered In Workshop

This workshop gives an overview of some (of the many) information processing challenges that people on the autism spectrum experience.

Paul Isaacs 2021


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An Educational System That Works?

  • You can have all the legislation place, however it has to be with people in mind.
  • The staff must have a specific skillset for the the job that is concisely filtered during the interview process.
  • Having a concrete 3 to 6 month probationary period in which the management team gauges if the person is suitable for the job or not.
  • Allowing staff to healthily work parallel with different autism “fruit salads“, giving room for mistakes and adaptions.
  • Having a mental health team for both staff & students being looked after, monitored, recognised and validated.
  • A firm, healthy and egalitarian working environment for both students and staff.

Paul Isaacs 2021


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Interview by UK Health Radio About Life On The Autism Spectrum

I had the pleasure not being interviewed about my life on the spectrum by JJ Stenhouse she also interviewed advocate and Tally Nothey about parenthood and her son who is on the autism spectrum.

Paul Isaacs 2021


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Anna’s guest this week on ‘All things Autism’ was our charity Ambassador Paul Isaacs

Anna Kennedy’s guest this week on Women’s Radio Station was Paul Isaacs.
‘All things Autism” will be aired at 1pm and 1am every day this week.  Please see www.womensradiostation.com

Paul shared: My name is Paul Isaacs and I have been an autism advocate for over 10 years, in that time I have seen many changes – some positive and accommodating others separatist and polarising.

Birth & Early Development

I was born in May 1986 and I was a month premature.

By my Mother’s observations I was quite and happy baby, however after the first six months onwards she began to notice differences in my development.

The initial worry was that I was deaf and/or blind this was round 1987, my motor coordination was delayed, I had oral apraxia for a time and didn’t gain functional speech between the ages 7/8 years old in 1994. Due to being meaning deaf and meaning blind.

Mainstream Education & Employment

I went through mainstream education from the 1989 to 2002 despite having obvious challenges.

The social and environmental factors were acute if not initially passive by people in their presentation, comments, body language and judgement.

It was subversive from the adults within my village and more pronounced and opaque towards me from 1991 onwards at age of five, this then transferred into my educational experiences and larger part of my employment history.

What I Reflected Upon

What I have learned from these experiences is lack of knowledge creates judgement, bigotry and separation, but what causes this?

The Mechanics of Bigotry?

I think it is due to one’s environment, personality factors (although not entirely indicative), core beliefs (what is considered “normal”, “right”, “wrong”) and what could be extension of someone’s ideal of morality.

Paul Isaacs

Now what else I would say about this is false belief systems have to be procured and recycled.

It needs to be fed from generation to generation. This means that if these ideals aren’t challenged they cannot build fertile grounds of change.

Be Kind & Understand Why

This on a personal level this has brought me peace, balance and objectivity now I am not procuring bigotry or saying it is right, quite the opposite.

Sadly psycho-social and environmental underpinnings of ignorance have to be understood in order to give an opening for growth and internal change.

So in many ways the people whom projected their venom on to me. Did they have –

Information processing challenges?

Learning difficulties?

Their own developmental challenges?

Mental health conditions?

Challenges around attachment?

Personality disorders?

I thank these people for at the very least giving me a very clear framework of how not to treat other people.

Polly Samuel’s Fruit Salad Analogy

In the interview I talk about Donna William’s’ fruit salad analogy and how it has helped me grow not only in a professional capacity but personal one as well.

Over the years of being speaker, trainer and consultant I have used the foundation of her analogy and shared to masses so that people can be empowered (parents, carers, guardians teachers, mental health professionals and people on the spectrum) to get to the underpinnings of what is going on.

Could it be exposure anxiety? Could it be visual perceptual disorders? Could it be dyspraxia?

I am balanced that I don’t hold (and never will) all the answers and that in comes objectivity I do not speak for “all” on the spectrum that is impossible task.

I am but one person however what I can do is point out the multifaceted nature of “autistic fruit salads” and open up people’s perceptions.

In the end it isn’t about me, my ego, my status or my person it becomes about something greater other human beings.

Autism & Militancy

I am have noted the militancy within the autism community for many years, I am not affiliated with any groups nor do I procure to mantra of “us and we” which suggests that all people on the spectrum think and act the same.

I do not procure to using the word “neurotypical” as a slur with bigoted and separatist undertones.

How can one fight bigotry if you are willing to “other” people? Also I choose not to use that word because in my opinion there is no such thing because there are “non-autistic” fruit salads too.

Thinking About Human Beings

All people go through an AUT-istic stage of development.

People with autism can have non-autistic moments and experiences and people without autism can have autistic moments and experiences.

Lets be kind enough to presume competence, intelligence and in understanding the persons autism you have do not have to define their entire being by it because what else would be left? We have enough man-made divisions as it is.

I ask you do we need any more?

Paul Isaacs 2021


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What Is It To Be Truly Balanced? An Internal Process That Will Change Future Relationships, Core Beliefs & Attachment

Note- This A Personal Perspective & Observations

It’s interesting to me I have been thinking today about what makes “true happiness” or being content? Being loved? Love starts and ends with you, self love in terms of not looking for others to fix you and indeed be fixed. If one is there connected self then us no need for you to find anything as it all resides within you. Regardless of your surroundings – family, friends, children etc.Then once those seeds have been sown you can be fruitful friendships, relationships that are connected you know and feel their energy.

Some people aren’t ready to know that their conscious and unconscious minds, perceptions, core beliefs can have a deep reaction to unresolved trauma (this is about introspection, objection and taking ownership and responsibility) they may get angry, upset, dismissive, dissociative, become impulsive or go back to threads of thinking that confirm otherwise – this is a defence, I choose not to take it personally.

AUT-Tisitc Personality Disorders

  • Someone who is Schizoid may become inverted and detached
  • Someone who is Obsessive-Compulsive may want order, structure and control
  • Someone whom is Schizotypal may become more inverted and paranoid

Self based Personality Disorders

  • Someone who is who is Borderline may have bouts of emotional dysregulation due to feelings of emptiness
  • Someone who is Dependent may yearn and be submissive/or monopolise to their caregiver
  • Someone who is Passive-Aggressive may be angered by their and feel the world is against them
  • Someone who is Narcissistic may want revenge and delude themselves with grandiose thoughts

In the end these people need and open-minded and autonomous person whom can give them the space to work through there own challenges.

Understanding “Self” May Not Easy – The Road To Balance

You do not and cannot be in people’s shoes all the time, you may give them tools, balanced advice or nothing at all. However true connection you can ask for them to experience whoever they are – wish them peace and clarity.Here are mine – I know their origins and through that you work with the systems through rationalisation.

  • I would dissociate from interpretive language due to being profoundly meaning deaf during infancy
  • Body dysmorphia with regards due to circumcision and not processing operation and inappropriate incident in with children in my early infancy. This has extended to other parts of my body.
  • I have an ongoing binge eating disorder due to gratification of over eating (being encouraged, validation and “normalised”) and this is in relation to emotional dysregulation and impulse control in mid late infancy.
  • For many years I had emetophobia (fear of vomiting) which started when I vomited on the house carpet in house after having orange juice in infancy. It was resolved in my late teens.
  • I have at times a subconscious reaction to certain words/phraseology – this is now largely resolved as was due to a isolated incident with a teacher at Primary School.
  • I have had Shy Bowel and Bladder Syndrome due to having the toilet door kicked in when I was infant at school in mid infancy.
  • I pick my hair which is related to impulse control (dermatillomania) because it was a relaxing/comforting experience when my Mum picked scabs from my hair when I had chicken pox in mid late infancy.

Knowing the origins of different aspects of oneself can be a road that may be filled with fear and uncertainty but it could well be a release from the shackles of the past.

Paul Isaacs 2021


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The Toxicity Of The Autism Community

Narcissistic Projection, Adornment Narratives & Superficial Behaviour

We are all up for judgement my advice to anyone whom makes assumptions come to the person first rather than creating a reality in your in mind in which you believe to be real. In certain facebook autism groups have become contrived, toxic, self-serving and unhealthy to be around.

Ownership and Respect

This goes beyond the remit of healthy disagreement or a basic acknowledgement of someone’s realities. If assumptions and projected realities which I do not stand for nor the lack ownership for one’s words or how they looked.

Faux Inclusivity & Confirmation Bias

If people wonder why the autism community is so broken, then maybe we should start taking a look at the conduct that militant advocates are taking in guise of help, empowerment and inclusivity?

True Inclusivity – It’s More About Others Than You

Is it inclusive to ignore people with dietary disabilities, gut, immune and metabolic disorders?

Is it inclusive to ignore fundamental basics neurology and/or biology?

Is it inclusive to see autism as everything about a person? Despite the three dimensional aspect of all human beings?

Is it inclusive to ignore people whom are functionally non-verbal?

Is it inclusive to use “neurotypical” (I prefer non-autistic) as a slur, put down or form of othering? Creating more division?

Is it inclusive to disregard one reality of autism because it doesn’t fit the status quo?

Is it inclusive to project and force a narrative onto someone without giving them the time or space to make up their own minds?

Is it inclusive to gossip, flame, swear and demonise people purely because they have a different reality to your narrative?

Is it inclusive to divide parents and children?

Is it inclusive that militant cultural and curist rhetoric (yes they have much more in common than not) gets more attention, air time and superficial interest than actually making a fundamental difference to people’s lives?

Be The Change You Want To See

I ask you is that healthy? Balanced? Overall what standards are we looking for? We as human beings should be the change and set examples not become bitter and ego driven.

Self Respect, Self Acknowledgment

Some people just take this playground mentality around with them. Sort your own stuff out first before you expect any meaningful change from anyone. I know my own self well enough to what happen was wrong regardless and I have at least have some self respect to know I am not deserving of it.

So politics are creating more fertile ground for these self serving agendas then with all due respect I want no part of it.

Paul Isaacs 2021


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NAS Lambeth/A2ndVoice Workshop – Autism & Language Processing Disorders Workshop

This workshop is about language processing disorders in the context of autism. Hosted by Venessa Bobb.

Further Information & Reading

Autism and Language A Journey To Functional Speech – Donna Williams

Wretches & Jabberers DVD Trailer

Paul Isaacs 2021