Paul Isaacs' Blog

Autism from the inside


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School Reunion & Moving On

Once I was told why don’t you go to school reunion’s? Having thought about this answer and the infinite amount of timely words I could plunder on this subject. I figured it would best to say never go back to the person you used to be you will only get lost again.

People change for all sorts of reason’s and those people who knew me time is about being the best version of yourself.

For those who bullied me who clad it with denial or detachment or the “phase of being a teenager” you probably needed a hug and listening ear more than I ever did.

Paul Isaacs 2019


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My World- Autism, Ethos & Humanity

I am pleased an eagerly proud to be working for a small autism organisation called My World and day centre for people on the autism spectrum. This summer it shall be four years of service to which I have contributed my consultancy work.

With people who have a narrow, conceited and reductive view of what autism “is” and how one is supposed to “act” and “behave” noting that it has “one look” so therefore “one approach and intervention” is wrong and that doesn’t happen here.

At My World all the caring and empathic staff are valued, open-minded and willing to learn this means that what is taken is a person-centred approach, looking at the person’s mental health, learning styles, information processing challenges and ultimately sees them as people or equal worth and value going about their day and purcuits.

Our success is our ethos, open-mind natures, ability to learn new things and approaches and empathy which encourages people in the end to be the best version of themselves.

Paul Isaacs 2019


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Autism & Identity

I have never seen all of my being as autistic because the word is an adjective a describing word of an experience.

Current Experiences

I experience face blindness, object blindness and meaning blindnessas I do a language processing disorder, hemiplegia, body agnosias and associated learning difficulties.

Past-Tense Experiences

There are also experiences in the past tense such as over coming oral apraxia, high levels of exposure anxiety, selective mutism and gaining functional speech although it was a long road to doing so.

Personality Types

I have personality types such as Mercurial, Idiosyncratic, Self-Sacrificing and Serious (all human beings have personality types of varying types).

Conclusion

Autism is not ALL it is PART OF I see myself as a person a patchwork quilt made of many things. Autism just “is” I am neither proud nor ashamed. I seek balance not objectification. 😊

Paul Isaacs 2019


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Be The Best Version Of Yourself

In a sometimes mind boggling world of shallow, narrow cucumber minded folk. Remember to be the person you want to be, when you close your eyes, wake up, make breakfast and go to work.

Short and timely travels within a flesh vessel of chemicals, minerals, fluids and too many a complication to bubble upon the cooking fat of existence.

I do no t adhere to clubs of a singular mentality for sometimes a heard can lead the blinkered people towards darkly paths of anxiety and self recriminations.

So I say crumble the falsehoods of separation, for they create longer bridges of acceptance to cross, know you are one person with the ability of helpfulness to share love upon everyone.

Paul Isaacs 2019


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What if Life Was One Big Metaphor?

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Language and the use of it can be varied to the point that if you tried to think about all the language that people process and the variety of differing ways people interpret, receives, express, share, not share, avoid, connect, disconnect etc it is rather big and somewhat scary!

I can rote learn fun lines from advertisements, jingles, songs. Metaphors are some of these funny lines. I can learn metaphors as fun lines just like any other. And I commonly jumble them or use them in the wrong places, boldly certain I’m being linguistically creative and sounding like a total pratt. It is many the time I have looked at a supressed giggle or cringed at the overt ones as I fall over metaphors. I like metaphors, they are funny, but there’s a difference between learning language through rote and grasping, retrieiving and applying it based on interpretive understanding.

But to say Autistic people can’t understand metaphor is also a myth.

I may struggle with metaphors I haven’t had fully explained to me but boy oh boy… my entire life is like a metaphor.

Donna Williams

My late Grandfather was literal, pragmatic and had social emotional agnosia so he had a very linear, direct and conscientious in his way of expression. I have met others who are very much non-linear with their language tumbling, with neologisms, idiosyncratic and poetic . I have meet people who sense rather than interpret and other who interpret rather than sense.

It is in the end a massive melting pot of expression.

Paul Isaacs 2018


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A Journey With Cancer, Treatments & Side-Effects

Dad in his 20s 2

 

Cancer is a hard thing to talk about my Dad was diagnosed in 2009 with a type of blood cancer called Chronic Lymphocytic Leukaemia which attacks the white blood cells and comprises the auto-immune system. Early warning signs included fatigue and hard node underneath his armpit. After this diagnosis he got a second which would change the outlook of mortality and treatment in which he had genetic mutation of the p53 gene which is called the “guardian angel” gene for cancer. He in 2010 had been given three months to live if he didn’t have a bone marrow transplant (which came from Germany and the person had the same genetic deletion) it was then he had chemotherapy the the transplant.

He told me that one of the most difficult things prior was signing a piece of paper acknowledging that there is a 25 percent risk of him dying through this procedure. I am sad to say it but one of the worst things about the experience was the wards lack of knowledge on Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome and by letting staff members know actually made an already compromised and critical situation much worse he was name-called, laughed at and escorted out of his room during the his last day he belongings stuffed into black bags and told to wait in the communal room despite him almost dying almost three times in the 12 weeks due to fungal pneumonia. I trained them in autism for an hour.

The team gave him too much of the bone marrow donor swapping a life threatening disease to a chronic disease called Graft (donor) vs. Host (the person) disease which attacks the soft tissue, eyelids, foreskin, lips, mouth, gums etc leading to tooth decay, gum recession in my Dads case

The drugs he takes now is something called perdnisolone which was created in the 1940s in is a type of immune-suppressant which in the short term is very good but in the long term can have dramatic and even life-threatening consequences. My Dad has been on this drug for over six years and the effect on his life have been drastic mood swings, mania lasting days, explosive and odd reactions to sometimes the most trivial of comments, impulsive behaviours, personality changes (narcissistic and self-centred ideals quite the opposite to my Father’s kindly nature), psychotic episodes and paranoia. The hardening of the trunk of his body means he finds it hard to breath (dermatological disease), high blood pressure and muscle spasms and the constant flip-flopping of drugs (if you go over 20mg of pred you must take additional tablets to counter the side-effects of this). His body is steroid dependant meaning that I feel there should be alternate looks into helping a person safely ween off this drug.

Recently my Dad went “cold turkey” for over a month because of these side-effects his nervous system went into shock in the second week causing him to vomit, blood pressure to drop and so he self admitted to the triage in which he was giving pred as the only option. Chemotherapy, Radiotherapy and Predisoalone are all legal but destroyed and suppressed my Dad’s immune system to the point that he wasn’t my Dad anymore. I know there are other family members going through this I would like to say you have my sympathies.

I would to point out that my Dad is a positive and assertive person and through continued self direction, realist attitude, objectivity he strives to live his life as full as he can. 😊

#disablityandcancer #immunenology #autoimmunedisease #CCL#p53GeneDeletion #Aspergerssynrome #autism #sterioddependant #life#cancersupport #cancercare

Paul Isaacs 2018


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Autism – Communication Beyond Speech? Sensing A System Before Interpretation With Sharon King

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Sharon King Speech is only the tip of the iceberg. There are many more ways to communicate

Paul Isaacs I have had many a good conversation about Sharon with regards to the “system” of “sensing” a world before “you”, “I”, “self”, “ego” etc. All human beings go through this developmental phase some people on the autism spectrum stay (to varying and differing degrees) in this framework. A world before cladding and concepts that build on to some degree intellectual understanding vs. introspection. If someone is still in this system they may well pick up on things/situations/emotions that are raw, they may see other functions for things rather than its “interpretive use”. 🙂

Paul Isaacs For example I would use the toilet an its flush system as a “toy” a place to contextualise, a place to feel and get “sensory/chemical highs”, I used shaving foam, litres of bubble bath to create patterns on the tiled surfaces for hours and hours, would/do take in the smells of nature around, its textures, its feeling. I have learnt that some people want to know how you are feeling this moment, at this time and in which order that doesn’t make their system wrong as it is system they are using just as much I am using mine so I think there are more degrees of humanity between people who are on and off the autism spectrum than people actually think. Boxes only muddy the issue. I also think there are many people off the spectrum who live in this system of sensing as well.

My World = One’s Own World. This is our first world. Before all of its later cladding and contortions, it is at first a place of sensing, beingness, the preconscious mind and unknown knowing. It is the place where we understand self in others and others in self through the skill of mergence.

The External World = The physical world known through our sensory experiences as processed through our bodies/brains and experienced as sensations, thoughts, emotions, connections. This is a directly hands on world where sensing and beingness may be relatively strongly intact.

The Interpretive World = the world of applied meaning to incoming experiences that progressively builds mental structures and frameworks that ultimately filter our direct sensed experiences of the physical world and develops conscious mind as the primary guide.

Ego World = Ego contortion that further clads, alters and filters the logical meaning we get from experiences of the physical world and further buries our original capacity for sensing and beingness. This can be indoctrination, culture, economics, identifications, rewards, honed addictions and competition for social, economic, cultural ‘currency’.

Donna Williams

Sharon King Sometimes I wonder if feelings are more real than the external reality as they are our first point of contact being ‘within’ and everything else is ‘without’ to be filtered through our senses.

Paul Isaacs I FEEL before I interpret so its almost like a translation with knowing on a conscious level translating. The main difference I see between auties and aspies is the the system of sensing (to some degree) is far more “there” this also is taking into account the information processing blockages that come with that.

For example my Father is very much OPPOSITE he build up frameworks first, concepts first and then feeling and reflections come second. Its in the end a differing system of understanding information around you.

Paul Isaacs 2018