Paul Isaacs' Blog

Autism from the inside

The Road To Being Assertive

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OSAM_0588VERVIEW

Note – this is from a person perspective 

For many years my “normal” was disappear into the background, my views didn’t count and I thought even if they could be they wouldn’t be heard agreeing and disagreeing with folks because their opinions were so much more than mine.

DEVELOPMENT & PERSONALITY

I believe this was a mixture of developmental processing (alexithymia, aphasia) elements of mutism (not talking for long periods of time) and lacking the ability to be assertive in conversations and interactions and also being solitary and sensitive person by nature.

I’M NOT A DOORMAT

No one is a doormat and that was the problem that is what I was presenting myself as I want to help others and I’m caring and empathetic to other’s needs and emotions but the problem was the imbalance. That needed to be balanced many people over the years have “used” me in this way and then “dumped” once they have had their fix of support.

What has changed since being in the therapy is realising that the balance is needed between –

  • Having the  balance and equality – so that all others voices, views and opinions are being  heard
  • That disagreement is good and  positive it can be productive in conversations
  • That conversations aren’t about someone taking away from someone  but also giving something back in return
  • That saying how you really feel about something or someone matters and also those people expressing how they feel to (whatever their communication profile is)
  • That letting go of negative/unproductive relationships is sometimes needed for both parties

CONCLUSION

I’m no better than anyone else and never will be but no one should ever feel they’re less either, something I felt for many years getting the balance right has taught me so much and it is learning curve for any who has been treated in a similar way.

Hope springs eternal. 🙂

Paul Isaacs 2014

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Author: Paul Isaacs

Paul was branded as a “naughty & difficult child” at school. He was classically autistic and non-verbal due to speech articulation difficulties. He had complex sensory issues and appeared both deaf and blind. He gained functional speech around the age of 7 or 8 years old. He went through the mainstream school system with no additional help or recognition of his autism. Consequently, he did not achieve his academic or his social potential and had very low self-esteem. At age 11, Paul was referred to the children’s mental health service with childhood depression where he was regarded as “developmentally underage” and having speech problems. As an adult, Paul had a string of unsuccessful jobs, and his mental health suffered. He developed both Borderline and Schizotypal Personality Disorders in early 2007. He was referred to mental health services and misdiagnosed with “Asperger traits with a complex personality”, which did not satisfy Paul or his family. A local autism organisation put Paul in touch with an experienced psychiatrist, who diagnosed him with Autism at 24 years old. In 2012 Paul was also diagnosed with Scotopic Sensitivity Syndrome by an Irlen Consultant who confirmed that he also had face, object and meaning blindness – conditions which Paul describes eloquently in his speeches and training sessions. He also has dyslexia, dyscalculia and also a dissociative disorder. Having started working as an local autism organisation as a public speaker in 2010, Paul joined their mission to promote autism awareness. His hope is that others will not have to suffer as he did. Now also a core member of our Training Team, Paul continues to enhance true understanding of autism at every opportunity. Paul has released and published 5 books on the subject of autism published by Chipmunka publishing and has contributed to other books too. Having overcome many challenges to achieve the success that he now enjoys, Paul’s message is that Autism is a complex mix of ability and disability. He firmly believes that every Autistic person should have the opportunity to reach their potential and be regarded as a valued member of society. Apart from autism related blogs Paul also write about movies, fashion, art and anything that is of interest. As of August 2015 Paul now works as a freelance speaker, training and consultant in and around the Oxfordshire & Buckinghamshire area. If you are interested please contact him via email at staypuft12@yahoo.co.uk

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